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Cockney Mackem

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Everything posted by Cockney Mackem

  1. Cockney Mackem

    Army of One (2016)

    I feel the poster of this film speaks for itself... Sorry if it's already been suggested, I did search and couldn't find a thread
  2. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 192.5 - Minisode 192.5

    Can't do the linkies like Cameron H but for *reasons* I'm listening exclusively to songs by people born in Scotland at the moment so: AC/DC, Hell's Bells (Angus Young, Glasgow) Twin Atlantic, Heart and Soul (All of Them, Glasgow) Garbage, Only Happy When It Rains (Shirley Manson, Edinburgh) Biffy Clyro, Wolves of Winter (Simon Neil, Kilmarnock) Big Country, Fields of Fire (the incomparable Stuart Adamson, Dunfermline) Waterboys, Fisherman's Blues (Mike Scott, Edinburgh) Chvrches, Leave A Trace (Lauren Mayberry, Glasgow) Mogwai, Remurdered (Stuart Braithwaite, South Lanarkshire) Idlewild, You Held The World In Your Arms (Roddy Woomble, Irvine) Jesus and Mary Chain, April Skies (Jim Reid, East Kilbride)
  3. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 192 - Striptease: LIVE!

    Hiaasen is not on Elmore Leonard's level for sure, but who is? But in fairness, Elmore Leonard suffered from a lot of misfiring films of his books by people who couldn't get the tone right. I think Hiaasen deserves the benefit of the doubt.
  4. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 192 - Striptease: LIVE!

    And yet, believe it or not, the novel it's based on is good
  5. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 191.5 - Minisode 191.5

  6. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 191.5 - Minisode 191.5

    Believe it or not, the novel on which this is based provides a much better portrayal of Demi Moore's character and it would be interesting to see if June's (100% legit) complaints about the film are the same for the book. The book isn't as leering obvs, and the characters are more 3D, and with Carl Hiaasen he manages to make you believe that yes, mad shit like this really does happen in Florida.
  7. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 181.5 - Minisode 181.5

    IMHO Glam killed Glam, by ripping a hole in its Spandex tights and disappearing up its own arsehole
  8. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 181 - Freejack: LIVE!

    For those of you wondering why Jagger didn't do any more films despite all the quality he demonstrates in Freejack, it may have been his business commitments such as the retail empire he built with fellow Rolling Stone Keith Richard https://youtu.be/VTCSzP6dmmo
  9. I don't know if he's a werewolf, but his hair is perfect
  10. You know what, I'm just going to plough right on and post things even though I'm still on page one and I'm going to look even more stupid. Christopher Lee did several Hammer horror films with his best friend Peter Cushing, another old school screen legend. Some of the Hammer films were terrific (Lee's first outing as. Dracula especially) but there was some dross. In one they were doing a version of the Mummy, and Lee said "This is terrible, I'm just done up in bandages, I don't get to say anything." You're the lucky one," said Cushing," Have you seen the script?"
  11. Fuck's sake, I'm so sorry
  12. God damn it, I only had to read two more posts! Sorry
  13. Sorry if already mentioned, but the incomparable Christopher Lee is credited with vocals on at least one European thrash metal album. He also served in special forces in World War 2, including pretty hardcore missions behind enemy lines. In the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Peter Jackson was directing him in a stabbing scene and said "I want you to imagine the sound of a knife cutting into a human body." Christopher Lee said "I don't have to." "Don't have to what?" asked Jackson. "Imagine," Lee replied.
  14. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 179.5 - Minisode 179.5

    If anyone fancies something British and utterly baffling, I recommend Athletico Mince
  15. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 179.5 - Minisode 179.5

    That would be an ecumenical matter
  16. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 173.5 - Minisode 173.5

    Same universe as the goblin truck in Maximum Overdrive?
  17. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 172.5 - Minisode 172.5

    So, Hoek - Joi -
  18. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 172.5 - Minisode 172.5

    When I was at school watching a film wasn't part of the curriculum, it just meant the teacher had a hangover
  19. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 172.5 - Minisode 172.5

    Ha, I've been checking cinematography and art direction
  20. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 172.5 - Minisode 172.5

    Ooh, Winter's Tale Starring Oscar winners Jennifer Connelly, Russell Crowe, William Hurt, Eva Marie Saint, written and directed by Oscar winner Akiva Goldsman, scored by Oscar winner Hans Zimmer
  21. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 172.5 - Minisode 172.5

    The Devil's Advocate Starring Oscar winners Al Pacino and Charlise Theron, directed by Oscar winner Taylor Hackford, co-produced by Oscar winner Arnold Kopelson
  22. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 172.5 - Minisode 172.5

    Reindeer Games features Oscar winners Ben Affleck, Charlise Theron and Isaac Hayes
  23. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 172 - The Last Dragon: LIVE!

    In the world of this film Vanity is an extremely desirable woman who is looking for a relationship, but there are no available men. Even when she essentially makes herself available to the entire city by offering a date with her as a competition prize, the only people in the whole of NYC showing an interest are Leroy's little brother and other twelve-year-olds. She instantly goes for Leroy and makes huge efforts to get with him, even though he dresses and acts like the village idiot, because he's literally the only available male over the age of consent. Her frustration when she throws herself at Leroy and he runs away suggests she hasn't had sex in a very long time. I'm surprised she didn't give one of the kidnappers her phone number. I also have a theory that this film is a bizarre extension of the Sucker Punch universe where each of the characters is undergoing a shared delusion in Berry Gordy's nightclub. Eddie Arkadian and his crew seem to think they are characters in a 30s gangster movie and just adapt their psychosis to the whole music scene environment they find themselves in, Leroy thinks he's a character in a Bruce Lee film, Sho'nuff thinks he's in a gang film, and Leroy's brother is a child who thinks he's an adult (and a pimp). Berry Gordy is some sort of all-powerful, unseen psychiatric puppet master applying shock treatment to various disturbed people.
  24. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 171.5 - Minisode 171.5

    Oh hello Vanity