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About nthurkettle

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  1. nthurkettle

    Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986)

    Sounds like SOMEONE needs a good Care Bear Stare...
  2. nthurkettle

    Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986)

    The lower legs are kind of horse-like, but I agree; much more likely an imaginary bear in a wig than an imaginary horse.
  3. nthurkettle

    Loose Cannons (1990)

    As a bump for the "Comedy About Buddy Cops, One of Whom is So Broken By Torture That He Blacks Out And Starts Impersonating Cartoon Characters, Recovering a Nazi Porn Movie", here's the credits theme song sung by Katey Sagal and Dan Aykroyd, which I think could best be described as "Concussed Members of Midnight Oil Are Hired to Write an 80's Bond Theme":
  4. nthurkettle

    Clockstoppers (2002)

    Directed by Jonathan Frakes, aka Cmdr. William T. Riker. He mostly directs television episodes these days, and his nickname on-set is "Two Takes Frakes", since he almost never sees the need to spend longer on a scene.
  5. nthurkettle

    Marci X (2003)

    I believe this movie may have been one of the infamous "strike projects" - in 2001 the SAG and WGA union contracts were set to expire simultaneously, which hadn't happened in a long time. The Hollywood studios were terrified that the unions might take the opportunity of the added leverage to strike (SPOILERS - they didn't that time around), and so during the spring and summer of 2001 a BUNCH of movies got jammed into production so the studios would have a stockpile they could release in case of an extended strike. So a lot of scripts that were in....possibly iffy shape?...were suddenly getting hustled in front of cameras - "Serving Sara" with Matthew Perry and Elizabeth Hurley and "The Hunted" with Tommy Lee Jones and Benicio Del Toro, were also considered strike projects, if I recall correctly. Per IMDB trivia, this was shot in the summer of 2001, but they had to organize reshoots after September 11th because a key scene was built around a Hindenburg gag that suddenly seemed horrifying, and both Lisa Kudrow and Damon Wayans had TV commitments so it took many months to get them re-scheduled.
  6. nthurkettle

    Lady in the Water (2006)

    I remember there was a scene in this where Paul Giamatti could only find out more about the mythology of the Blue World if he acted like a baby because the old lady would only tell it as a bedtime story for children. So he curls up on the couch like a toddler and it is SO unsettling.
  7. nthurkettle

    Alone in the Dark (2005)

    Christian Slater is supposed to save us all and yet he can't even master turning pages in a magazine.
  8. nthurkettle

    Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

    Bumping for being the only Star Trek movie to contain Vulcan Marshmallow Dispensing Technology:
  9. For all the great jokes made about Van Helsing's hat, our hosts missed what I think is the most obvious one. Look at this damned Wanted poster: It shows you absolutely NOTHING about Van Helsing's face. Literally the only detail there for people to latch onto is his hat. If he's having so many problems with people telling "MURDERER!" at him everywhere he goes, TAKE OFF THE HAT. BUY A DIFFERENT HAT. NO ONE WILL RECOGNIZE YOU.
  10. nthurkettle

    Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

    At this point, I have to believe this is like how they've been teasing a Showgirls episode forever - in that they've got something special in mind for this movie and are just waiting for it to come together. Otherwise, I have no idea how this hasn't happened yet, because it is LEGENDARY ridiculous badness but so entertaining.
  11. nthurkettle

    Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986)

    This was Dark Heart's only appearance - IIRC (my little sister was very into these movies), the first movie had an evil book (Don't read, kids! Watch cartoons instead!), and the third movie took them to Wonderland. But the "Twilight" vibe on him is strong; he's totally the 80's toy version of a supernatural teen crush.
  12. When the FIRST movie featuring mid-80's plush superstars the Care Bears made a shocking amount of money, they rushed a sequel into production; and moved so fast that I don't think they noticed the sick undercurrents of the main plotline, where an all-destroying red cloud of supernatural hate called Dark Heart disguises himself as a cute teenage badboy and basically seduces teenage girl Christy by promising to use his dark magic to help her win all the sports at her summer camp, in exchange for an unidentified, ominous favor she'll owe him later. His whole M.O. is kidnapping the Care Bears in sacks, and when he's thwarted, he straight MURDERS Christy with lightning, and then the Care Bears pull a Peter Pan and beg the children in the audience to bring her back to life by saying "WE CARE". It's...I don't know how you inflict this on children. Seriously - how do they create a scene like this and not get how alarming it is? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFSXFaiGPLg
  13. nthurkettle

    Kate & Leopold (2001)

    I would submit that the biggest reason this movie needs to happen is that a major plot point involves Meg Ryan meeting a TIME TRAVELER and then deciding that the most natural thing to do is cast him in a commercial for a butter substitute.
  14. nthurkettle

    Nine Months (1995)

    The gang may need a break from babies after those Look Who's Talking movies, but I fully endorse this; because there's no actual plot but "being pregnant is the most embarrassing, horrifying disaster possible at every single stage and there's no good reason why anyone should do it humans should just stop and die out. Wokka Wokka Wokka!"
  15. nthurkettle

    F/X 2 (1991)

    Bumping because 1) Jason fears clowns 2) June fears robots 3) I want to hear Paul compare the Robot Clown toy to his My Buddy doll.