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nthurkettle

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About nthurkettle

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  1. nthurkettle

    Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

    At this point, I have to believe this is like how they've been teasing a Showgirls episode forever - in that they've got something special in mind for this movie and are just waiting for it to come together. Otherwise, I have no idea how this hasn't happened yet, because it is LEGENDARY ridiculous badness but so entertaining.
  2. nthurkettle

    Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986)

    This was Dark Heart's only appearance - IIRC (my little sister was very into these movies), the first movie had an evil book (Don't read, kids! Watch cartoons instead!), and the third movie took them to Wonderland. But the "Twilight" vibe on him is strong; he's totally the 80's toy version of a supernatural teen crush.
  3. When the FIRST movie featuring mid-80's plush superstars the Care Bears made a shocking amount of money, they rushed a sequel into production; and moved so fast that I don't think they noticed the sick undercurrents of the main plotline, where an all-destroying red cloud of supernatural hate called Dark Heart disguises himself as a cute teenage badboy and basically seduces teenage girl Christy by promising to use his dark magic to help her win all the sports at her summer camp, in exchange for an unidentified, ominous favor she'll owe him later. His whole M.O. is kidnapping the Care Bears in sacks, and when he's thwarted, he straight MURDERS Christy with lightning, and then the Care Bears pull a Peter Pan and beg the children in the audience to bring her back to life by saying "WE CARE". It's...I don't know how you inflict this on children. Seriously - how do they create a scene like this and not get how alarming it is? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFSXFaiGPLg
  4. nthurkettle

    Kate & Leopold (2001)

    I would submit that the biggest reason this movie needs to happen is that a major plot point involves Meg Ryan meeting a TIME TRAVELER and then deciding that the most natural thing to do is cast him in a commercial for a butter substitute.
  5. nthurkettle

    Nine Months (1995)

    The gang may need a break from babies after those Look Who's Talking movies, but I fully endorse this; because there's no actual plot but "being pregnant is the most embarrassing, horrifying disaster possible at every single stage and there's no good reason why anyone should do it humans should just stop and die out. Wokka Wokka Wokka!"
  6. nthurkettle

    F/X 2 (1991)

    Bumping because 1) Jason fears clowns 2) June fears robots 3) I want to hear Paul compare the Robot Clown toy to his My Buddy doll.
  7. nthurkettle

    Taffin (1988)

    THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HEEEEEEEEEEEEERE! You could do a full "Inside the Actors' Studio" episode just breaking down that one line, and I would watch it.
  8. nthurkettle

    Ricochet (1991)

    My First Lithgow (fine name for a podcast, there!) was actually Harry and the Hendersons, so when I got older and started seeing these movies where Doofy Dad Henderson is shanking people, it was like an introduction to all the tremendous possibilities of acting.
  9. nthurkettle

    Bedazzled (2000)

    What breaks your brain with this movie is that Brendan Fraser should learn early on that EVERY wish he makes is going to blow up on him and yet he keeps making vague wishes that have such easily-exploitable loopholes, the Devil doesn't even need to try that hard. If you're doing a kind of unserious arse-ing around comedy like Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, it's fine because we're in on the joke, but this is played as such a sincere spiritual journey for him, it just makes him look like Earth's greatest idiot.
  10. nthurkettle

    Ricochet (1991)

    The director, Russell Mulcahy, also directed the first two Highlander films, which is I think why the blades in the crazy phonebook-armor prison sword fight give off magic sparks for no damn reason. Honestly, Lithgow would have been a great Evil Immortal in either of those movies. Poor Jesse "The Body". He would have lived if he'd had literally any other page of newspaper taped to himself.
  11. nthurkettle

    Surfer: Teen Confronts Fear (2018)

    But "The Room" doesn't have any "military intrigue" - aka "a guy looking under a car". Original trailer got pulled from YouTube. Here it is again. The kid's voice-over about surfing sounds like he's reading a hostage statement.
  12. nthurkettle

    Short Circuit 1 or 2...or both!

    The Purge only with Los Locos led by Johnny 5 leading people to safety.
  13. This just played at the art-house near me with the director in attendance. He filmed his son on and off for ten years. I wasn't in attendance, so I don't know if the friendship was "stroung" enough.
  14. nthurkettle

    If Looks Could Kill (1991)

    I remember even as a heartless teenage boy being shocked by Grieco's transition from head-bobbing high school student to bullet-spraying spy; and how this was supposed to be funny? When we get into the climax, he doesn't even take a beat before he starts gunning down stunt randos. He's like "welp, I guess it's mass murder time. Wokka wokka."
  15. nthurkettle

    America's Sweethearts (2001)

    THANK YOU! I think about it way more often than I should think about a movie I saw a single time 17 years ago and thought was bad. On what planet are Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones SISTERS? Why cast John Cusack, whose persona has always been that hip, alternative guy who wouldn't be in to being super-famous (and doesn't even try to be different in this movie), to play Bobo Tom Cruise? How damn long does that scene of Billy Crystal running back and forth between limos last? In my memory it lasts for at least three hours.
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