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Colfax McLiverneck

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About Colfax McLiverneck

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    El Duque de Maiz

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  1. Colfax McLiverneck

    Hey man—what’s nong?

    Hey man—what’s nong?
  2. Chapter the Eighteenth: In Which Lord Archibald VonPfister Embarks Upon an Exploratory Jaunt into the Titular Cornwolving Forest and Has a Mesmeric Epiphany
  3. Hey, hey, heyyy, what you want, but don’t nong mans with my affection
  4. Colfax McLiverneck

    Corn is the new beans.

    Corn is the new beans.
  5. A horse walks into a barn. The barntender says “Hay?” The horse says, “Nong, man.”
  6. Colfax McLiverneck

    What’s wrong—hot log?

    What’s wrong—hot log?
  7. Hey is for horse. Nong is for man.
  8. Colfax McLiverneck

    Make hey while the nong mans.

    Make hey while the nong mans.
  9. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is having a hell of a time finding a donor.
  10. Chapter the Seventeenth: In Which a Stealthy Vulpine Visitor Absconds with a Tin of Satsuma Scones and is Pursued by Sir Rutherford’s Fleetest Hound, Corntooth the Bold
  11. Chapter the Sixteenth: In Which Madame Toilette de Fleury Encounters a Black Mamba in Cornminster-upon-Humpley and is Overcome with the Vapours
  12. If you don’t love me at my wurst, you don’t deserve me at my brat.
  13. Sky blisters notwithstanding, a bucket of honey crumbles at the mention of knee replacement —and the scarier the better, because we exclusively grow maroon corn now
  14. If you can’t stand the human sacrifice, get out of the corn field.
  15. Aztecs did it, Olmecs did it—even educated Zapotecs did it—let’s do it, let’s grow some corn!