Colfax McLiverneck

I like less than half of you. 31%, to be exact.

Fe fi fo fum, yo mamma likes to eat my SHAVING CREAM, BE NICE AND CLEAN, SHAVE EVERY DAY AND YOU’LL ALWAYS LOOK CLEAN

Shit on my face and tell me that you love me.

Blink twice if you’re being held hostage. Blink 182 times if you hate music.

Throw it up your butt and see what happens.

Someone in this town is trying to burn the foreheads down?

Chapter the 32nd: In which our intrepid protagonist visits Constantinople and is baffled when he finds himself in Istanbul.

More like build a little turdhouse in your butt.

In Soviet Russia, tang slays you.

I tried to sell the library’s copy of the Silmarillion, but it was a nonfungible Tolkein.

Nay, hong man.

All joking asparagus, my pee smells funny.

Dungarees. Rochester. Umbrella. Coincidence? I think not.

Chapter the 31st: in which the village nunnery is invaded by a coterie of randy furries, resulting in an interesting conundrum for Sister Ivana Whizonabear.

Well here’s a little story ‘bout a man named Zed, a former chopper owner who allegedly is dead

I heart corn farts.

Mountebank. Guava. Clarinet. Coincidence? I think not.

On today’s show, it’s undead funny man and line cook Hashbrown the Ghost Clown!

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s good shrooms, man

I hate to tell tales out of school, but since we are standing outside Beverly Hills High, here’s a little story ‘bout a man named Jed:

A tisket, a tasket, a masticated ass zit, I put my canines on your butt and very gently popped it

My bologna has a first name. It’s Steve. Steve Bologna.

More like a one-eyed one-horned flying purple phallic symbol

My bologna has a very long Slavic patronym, it’s R O Z H D E S T V E N S K I J A M O V O V I C H

Yo mamma has a first name, it’s I B A N G