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About CaptPukeFish

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    I’m famous behind the paywall
  • Birthday 04/09/1981

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  1. When life gives u lemons, make lemonade, but when Larry the deadly hobo gives u lemons, dispose of them as soon as ur out of his line of site, burn ur clothes and contact poison control immediately.
  2. press One for eat drink man woman, press two in the stink for pink drank sprang break!
  3. When I was a child I spoke as child, but when I became a man, I came all over the elephant mans bones.
  4. Two please for In the Mouth of Madness, and one please for In my Stink of Sadness.
  5. By the cloven wings of pan-am flight 69 four twenty, this is captain dickfart, inserting strap-on, preparing to take off pants.
  6. We don’t have liberty or death, mr Henry. Is Pepsi okay?
  7. I don’t give a rat’s ass or a mouse’s ass, but I do give a mean back rub, oh and may I offer you a gerbil’s dick?
  8. I don’t know but I’ve been told, my doctor found mold in my deepest skin fold.
  9. What if god was on “This is Us” ?
  10. Kathmandu, but Birdman don’t.
  11. You shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, and honestly you don’t need to keep taking pictures of it’s dick like that either. Actually, ya know what? Takin back the horse. I told your mother this was a mistake. Takin back the horse.
  12. When I was a boy, I spoke as a boy, but when I became a man, I put a big smelly poo poo in my dipey.
  13. My milkshake brings all the bugs to my car, and I can’t clean it cuz im a ga ga ga ghooooost. So much blood. So much ants in the blood.
  14. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became the pink, I put two in the stink.