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About TheGloriousJACOB

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  1. Call me a grifter, call me a drifter. Just don't call me Adolf Hitler's sister.
  2. Gords got a gash in g his pants. It's full of ants!
  3. I've come to find myself furiously farting out fires on Friday nights in February.
  4. The coolest thing about Carmex chap stick is that you can leave it in a car down in Mexico it'll melt.
  5. I've never been punch drunk on love, but I did once drunk punch a dove!
  6. Go dig up the dead dog, old man Timmy fell in his beef wellington again!
  7. If I hurl please tell earl. Abandon all hope the ambulance is on the way.
  8. A loaf of bread a day will keep the doctor away. Unless you're gluten intolerant.
  9. Constantly critically clobbering critters
  10. The Sounds Of the future and the tank is very good.
  11. After a week long battle with bloat. Phillips frog finally farted. The fumes smelt fantastic!
  12. All good kids like milk. So keep a couple extra gallons in you trunk.
  13. If your turducken is still clucking it may be under cooked.
  14. after day 3 of consuming only ghea I was plagued with raging diarrhea
  15. A Zebra in a zoot suit blew a big toot