slowestjogger

And thusly the lad pulled the SWORD from the STONE! ...an’ then he put his widdle fingie in dere.

Fuck You Bill Cosby

Flowers in a vase put a smile on my fahz.

Hey tubby, it’s “intermittent FASTing” not “intermittent FROSTING”!

In this kitchen there’s only one rule: I don’t fucks with Arborio rice.

At this time last year - I was on a singles’ cruise, a REAL single’s cruise....I was all by myself!!!

A Feast! A Feast! was cancelled due to yeast

Fear washed over me like some gigantic wave, and that scared me.

Cube, doob, or lube. Rubik don’t give rides for free.

If you called me last week, I hope you’re still ashamed of yourselves. I understand now that the 14 cents I would have paid to add those two last words, would have saved me the price paid by my soul for having to explain and disappoint you. I had hoped to sleep soundly, knowing that I passed along much-needed incontinence aids for a bargain; instead, I lie awake at night with my imagination running wild pondering your bold, surprisingly graphic questions and “complaints”.

That sweet summer day holding hands in the park we were so much in love you and me and Mark

FBI’s most wanted? You bitches thirsty.

I don’t think of Bruce Springsteen as “The Boss”; but just a guy, strumming that old guitar, going over his band’s self-evaluation forms and restructuring their 3rd quarter goals on an individual basis.

A full-length mirror in MY courtroom? Well, I’ll allow it, but watch yourself counselor.

Forget it Jake, just like my birthday.