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About ShatteusPantswellTheTurd

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  • Birthday 02/24/1994

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  • Location
    San Antonio, TX
  1. - Tauntingly Sing-Songed by notorious Cereal Killer, “Muffalo Shrill”, as depicted by some actor in the hit thriller, “Silence of the Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Ma’am’s”, starring “Samanth-uh-knee Jump-Kins” as deranged yet perceptive eater and haver of brains, Danimal “The Cannonball” Selector, Rated R for “Arrreee We Done With the Shitty, Ill-Conceived, obscure-but-in-the-off-putting-sort-of-way, ‘puns’ yet??”
  2. ShatteusPantswellTheTurd

    “Holy fucking shit, Batman!”

    -Raw Bin
  3. ShatteusPantswellTheTurd

    What’s down cold cat?

  4. Seriously, it’s a good thing you can’t see it without a funhouse mirror at a rural bankrupt city’s county fair, because that’s honestly what it most closely resembles; both in appearance as well as the feeling of incomprehensible terror one feels when gazing into it’s abyss, with a drug-addict Carny beckoning you ever deeper. Your Butthole is a Mr Bungle song come to life.
  5. By King Shat of Turd Island; Dictated but not read. And also not dictated. Or even fully formed, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to proofread it. Sin-serially, King of Shitty Turds (seriously don’t read this entire part below the title. They make me do this, and it ruins the whole aesthetic of a uniform, organized, profanity-filled string of nonsense words thought up by a bunch of obsessed lunatics in the hopes of hearing our secret man crush reading on a podcast.) just kidding But seriously, just read the fucking title please.
  6. By: King Shat of Turd Island, dictated not red (this is not part of the thing, this is a whole other thing, made necessary by what I would call a firable oversight in the design of this website. Whoever’s responsible should pay with their job.)