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About BloatedFartingScumBag

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  1. Forgive me this ol' groaner, but I farted on my boner.
  2. Lake Superior is the largest body of freshwater by surface area (talk about the ultimate thirst trap).
  3. Riddle me this or riddle me that, I'll be sucking you off for those concert tickets whether you like it or not.
  4. Get out of my jeans, get into my cargo shorts. It's hot out there and I got shit to carry.
  5. Getting high on the San Andreas Fault gives a whole a new meaning to "shake and bake."
  6. Stick a battery in your dick and experience the phenomenon!
  7. Devon Sawa? Eye-chi-wawa! Devon Aoki? Okie-dokie!
  8. Here's the church and here's the steeple, open the doors and read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pre-Teens
  9. Notice to you lazy wipers: trap that mess with ad-ult diapers
  10. Ace is the place for a hellish hardcore fuck
  11. I walk through Disneyland to get a great thong tan, I watch Disney movies to see the Heynong Man
  12. The cat's in the bag and the bag's down the river, if the river is my pee stream, the cat is a kidney stone and the bag is my ballsack.
  13. Stop. Please shut your mouth and listen. I could've sworn I heard a young man pissin'.
  14. "Ye will surely say unto me this ad-lib, '"Improv Man, catchphrase thyself."