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Everything posted by Bernard_Shakey

  1. Isaac Asimov? When does Isaac ever have 'em on?
  2. My gingerbread House cures unusual and hidden gingerbread illnesses.
  3. I told my wife I wanted a Nutcracker for Christmas and so she... she did. She bought me a lovely Nutcracker. Not everything has to be a joke.
  4. Auld Lang Syne? More like "Old Wang, Sigh" am I right Ladies?!
  5. We didn't start the fire. No we didn't light it but we also didn't try to prevent it from being lit. So technically yes, we are somewhat to blame for all of those deaths.
  6. I'm here to kick bubblegum and chew ass and I'm all out of ass. P.S. You got any ass?
  7. We better get an album of the songs on this seasons shows!
  8. When God closes a door he opens up the possibility for a lawsuit because that's a fire safety violation.
  9. Shampoodler for my real friends, and real poodles for my sham friends.
  10. The ADPPP and a new Adam Scott Aukerman show? What an embarrassment of riches this month. I am reborn!
  11. A doctor a day will keep Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter away.
  12. Bernard_Shakey

    25 - Chronic Town

    I'm hoping for a Harry Potter SubPodcast - maybe bring in Chef Kevin. I don't know. I'm just spitballin here.
  13. Wyclef Jean? Because Clef Jean.
  14. Bernard_Shakey

    24 - Songs of Experience

    Holy shit! Scott and Scott are back, baby!
  15. The gutters in this city are filled with people like us. - Mostly street sweepers and gutter repairmen, but still.
  16. Never look a gift horse in the mouth. And don't find fault with this free advice.
  17. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. This condition amongst doctors is called apple-phobia and is quite rare.
  18. Jack n Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water? Wait a minute. Who puts a well at the top of a hill?!
  19. One in the hand, Two in the bush, Three on the sidewalk, Smoke some kush.
  20. You expect me to bow down and kowtow to you now? Pal, I wouldn't even know how!
  21. Some folks whistle while they work, I like to calculate while I copulate.
  22. I wanna John in the Keats and a Lord Byron in the sheets.
  23. "Listen honey," said the mansplaining bee keeper.
  24. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush - but now you have salmonella because according to wikipedia: "The bacteria lives in their intestines."