Cameron H.

Jeeeeeee-sus Christ! How can a movie, made up solely of exposition, make so little sense? The more they tell me what's going on the further adrift I feel. Seriously, what the fuck is anyone even talking about? They might as well have just dramatized the Wikipedia entry...it would have made much more sense and been just as interesting.

Yeah...this is the second movie they've done (after Gods of Egypt) that I tried to watch for fun and had to turn off due to an excessive amount of terribleness. However, I'll dip my toe back in for the show... As far as YA stuff...there's actually very few series I've made it all the way through--and this is coming from someone who likes to make fun of crappy books as much as he likes to make fun of crappy movies! The Divergent Series I stopped reading, like, a chapter into the fourth book. In fact, I don't think I've completed any YA books outside of Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, and, oddly enough, the Twilight series. Although, in my defense, I had to devise a special technique to get through the Twilight books. You see, my wife and I frequently read aloud to each other in bed (Fuck you! We're cute as shit!) and we discovered that Stephanie Myers prose was so terrible and redundant that you could just read the first sentence of each paragraph to understand what was going on. It would be something like: I stared at him across the rain-drenched field, shivering as he stepped toward me. Our eyes shimmered in the rain--his dark and hungry. He grew larger as he approached me. I could feel the hairs stand up on the back of my arms. We gazed at one another over the water-soaked grass. A part of me wanted to run, but another part of me-a bigger part of me-could not break away. I was lost in the swirling black eddies of his eyes...My skin ran cold. His eyes were on me. I stared back. However, once we discovered this, we were able to fly right through it. Oh, and if anyone is wondering, I'm Team

? ETA: Whoops, I forgot what "fictional" meant for a second there. (Although, is he a real person, really?) How about instead: From As You Like It

Yay!

If he was a banker, lawyer, politician, or at some point said, "I'm not a dog person..."

That's the thing, though. Given that EDI is without skin tone, an accent, facial hair, or a cigarette dangling from beneath his unnecessary cockpit, if he wasn't stealing music, how else was the audience supposed to come to the conclusion that he was a morally reprehensible dude?

He. Gets. It. But, seriously, some of the replies to this are hilarious. "Smartest movie of the year" indeed...

Goddamnit! That motherfucker Ryan Reynolds is always stealing my bits! While I didn't put "Let's Get It On" on there, I did ask her at one point if she wanted to make out to pass the time. She was, oddly enough, not amused.

Funny story (to me) about this song. A couple of weeks before my son was born, I put together a playlist for my wife to listen to during labor. Of course I put a bunch of her favorite songs on it...and I might have just slipped this one in there too. Unfortunately, I don't have much of a punchline since it didn't make it to the show, but I still kind of would have liked to see the look on her face when, as the baby was crowning, she heard Bobby Pickett suddenly sing, "I was working in the lab, late one night..."

I did so generally earlier in the thread, but I would like to specifically welcome you to our little family here. I hope you are feeling welcome! The regulars around here are pretty wonderful people. There's never any (real) drama around here, and the drama that does arise is usually from cock nozzles who come in to complain about audio quality during live episodes or something. It's been kind of an oasis from the rest of the Internet's bullshit. Ugh! Tell me about it. Those kids are just a bunch snot nosed little plague carriers. I hadn't been sick in years until I put my eldest son in daycare. I hope you feel better soon. Thanks for posting these! I was really missing your insights into Japanese culture while you were on your forum hiatus. Speaking of which...if you guys are still keeping up with the forums, Amy the Gorilla, Auden, EllenM, Fister Roboto, and PlanB, I hope everything is going well with you guys and you find your way back here soon. Your input is sorely missed--although in the case of Auden and EllenM, I suspect Fall Semester starting has something to do with their recent absence. If so, I hope school is going well with you guys! You're all missed!

With permission, I'd like to submit another 10 for EDI's Jukebox. I wanted to see how my tastes might change from being in the thick of it at work and being at home. Also, I have a feeling I'm going to be spending most of my day tomorrow going through each of your lists I'll be expecting Lando's bright and early! Take 2 (End of Day) 1) Ben Folds2) Control Eric Carmen*3) The Cure*4) Oscar Isaac5) The Monkees*6) From The Sound of Music (RIP Charmian Carr) 7) Benny Goodman8) Simon and Garfunkel9) Fresh Feeling Eels 10) The Young Dubliners*

For EDI'S Jukebox 1) Leonard Cohen2) They Might Be Giants3) "There's a Place" The Beatles * 4) David Bowie * (You're crazy if you think I didn't asterisk this one.)5) "Diamonds and Guns" Transplants 6) Violent Femmes *7) Social Distortion8) Dolly Parton*9) Josh Gad* (From The Book of Mormon)10) Jason Derulo (For my money, one of the funniest songs about masturbation I've ever heard--even if he didn't know that was what it was about when he wrote it. Also the line "Instead of talking let me demonstrate/Get down to business and skip foreplay" makes me question whether or not Mr. Derulo has ever had sex. If he has, I can only imagine he's left a wake of unsatisfied lovers...Oh! And fuck yeah I sang along!)*

Seeing as we're all really focused on EDI's musical tastes, it feels like it's high time to play a forum game we haven't played in awhile... It didn't have a title before, but I think I'd like to call it "EDI'S JUKEBOX." Some of you all remember the rules, but for the new people, here they are: Take whatever device you use to listen to music, set it to play your entire music library, and put it on shuffle or random. Post in the forums the next ten songs (with band/artist names) you listened to in their entirety. Even if you end up skipping a song with one second left to go, it's out. (Although, many of us like to include our "Almost-made-its.") Once posted, if anyone would like to, people can comment on your selections, but let's keep the comments respectful. In other words, if you really like a song you can say so, but don't be rude if you don't like a song. "If you don't have anything nice to say" and all that. These aren't supposed to be your favorite songs of all time, and there's no reason to skip a song because you don't think it's "cool." We all post on an Internet Forum dedicated to a podcast making fun of bad movies, I'm afraid the time for "coolness" has long since passed us by. NEW RULE--Feel free to place an asterisk (*) beside the title of any song you ended up singing along to. I'm actually really happy that we're able to do this again! I've always been more interested in hearing what people are listening to "right now" rather than just a list of favorite bands and songs.

Far be it for me to deny a writer what was obviously an orgasmic “Ctrl+S” moment, but seriously, the dialog in the movie when Lucas and the IT guy are discussing EDI’s music collection is maybe the dumbest exchanges in cinema history. Think about it. It’s not just that “All of them” is a hammy punchline, but it starts with the IT guy saying that EDI likes to download songs. Lucas then asks “Yeah? How many of them?” I’m sorry, movie, I was under the impression that the plane was the robot. If you met someone new and they told you that they love music, what kind of cyborg would you be if you then asked, “Oh, yeah? How many songs have you downloaded? And, please...be as specific as possible.” The amount of songs is completely inconsequential! A normal human being (i.e. people not represented in this film), when in this not-so-uncommon situation, would most likely ask, “What types of music do you like?” The very good reason for this is because it might give you a little bit of insight into the psyche of the person you’re talking to, which--in the instance of being confronted by a temperamental, sentient airplane—might actually be some good information to have. For example: IT GUY: He downloads songs from the Web. LUCAS: Yeah? That’s weird. What does he listen to? IT GUY: Well, he kind of downloads everything, but he’s had Tal Bachman’s “She’s so High” on a near constant loop… LUCAS: [stunned horror] Dear, God—What Hell hath thou wrought? Shut it down! IT GUY: But— LUCAS: I SAID, SHUT IT DOWN!!!

Not to mention that they allowed a high tech, prototype thinkin' plane to go out on a test flight fully armed and operational... I don't know...Maybe we just see if our little science experiment is a petulant, homicidal murder-bot before we arm it to the teeth and set it loose on the world?

This is such sad news! My heart goes out to her and her family.

When the Talon crew first arrives on the aircraft carrier, they have no idea that their fourth wingman is going to be borderline sentient robotic airplane. There’s even a scene prior to their arrival where they are trying to figure out who their wingman might be. Even though from my perspective I think it’s rather foolish to not advise your pilots that the fourth in their squadron is going to be an emo, cyber- plane, I do get that things are sometimes revealed on a “need to know” basis. However, what I did find odd was, once this information is revealed to them, and they are sent up on a test flight with a fully operational, emotionally immature robo-plane, they seem to have no idea that it can talk and learn! After Lucas requests EDI to report in and EDI responds, Foxx quips, “What? Well, well, well. He can talk…” What did they think was going to happen? If they didn’t know it could talk, why was Lucas asking for it to report in? What did he expect to happen? Did he think it was being operated like a traditional drone? Isn’t that the kind of thing that they should have been appraised of before flying with it? Since EDI is functionally the same exact plane they are already flying, they should already be pretty familiar with its capabilities, wouldn’t you think that in the mountains of homework they were assigned there might have had at least one chapter headed, “Oh! And By the Way, the Plane Can Talk and Think. (It also really, really likes Incubus, so watch what you say about Brandon Boyd.)”

The movie begins with our intrepid trio flying at high velocity through a narrow canyon. Bullets and rockets whiz through the air as each of our heroes perform ball shrivelling barrel rolls. An explosion rocks a mountain top in a 50 ft tall fireball--the resulting conflagration errupts like the very expression of Hell's unholy wrath. Fortunately, Josh Lucas manages to avoid the disaster by the skin of his dick. That was a close one. He approaches his target. He takes aim. He fires! Victory! His shot is as true as if shot from the divine bow of Apollo himself. The cave of hostile mannequins has been obliterated. Hurray! The final test of the Talon stealth fighter is a success! They have completed their final combat exercise. My, that was really exciting. What a way to start a movie. Um, but question though: why were they firing upon their elite squad of fighter pilots in their top secret, presumably expensive war planes with live ammunition? I understand they have to be put their paces, but this just seems incredibly ill-advised.

First of all, a big forum welcome to all the new posters! I'm sure I will have some official C&O's to post later, I just wanted to dig a little deeper into some of the things the gang did touch upon. In regard to the the, "I gotta go pee pee line" I didn't really have a problem with it. Sure, it's kind of weird, but we don't know this woman. Maybe she's just a goofball. The bigger problem I had was right after she says it, Foxx's character says, "That's nasty." I'm sorry, why exactly is the idea that a woman may need to pee "nasty?" If Lucas had stood up and said he needed to "take a leak/piss" no one would have batted an eye--much less, proclaim to everyone within earshot how gross he is. These sorts of lines were a major hurdle for me through out this movie. This entire movie felt like the equivalent of, "I'm not sexist/racist, but..." It's trying to put on this veneer of inclusion, but just comes off completely tone deaf. This movie's idea of showing us that Biel's character is "cool" is by showing us that she's "just one of the guys" (but not really). In other words, a woman can't be equal to a man unless we raise her to the level of "man." And, unfortunately, this movie's definition of what it is to be a man is drenched in ten gallons of Axe Body Spray, frosted tips, and mile after mile of puka shell necklaces. This idea of, "she's not cool unless she's a dude" is why she has to say lines like, "Let's move it ladies!" to Lucas and Foxx. I mean, I get this isn't the first movie to have a female character a "lady" in the pejorative sense, but it really does give you an insight into the adolescent mind of the infected urethra sore who wrote it. And, of course, in the end, this "bro-ing" up of Biel's character is all moot anyway. The movie can never truly let go of the fact she has a fully functioning vagina. As a woman, and therefore a nurturing mother figure, she has to be the character most concerned about casualties; she has to be the one rescued behind enemy lines. Sure, they tried to make her look cool, but in the end, all they really did was give Princess Peach a bazooka--fight all she wants, she's still not getting out of Koopa's castle without a little help from Mario Mario. Something else they brought up was when Lucas' character defies orders and does the maneuver that had a 75% chance of him blacking out, the movie kind of lets him off the hook because he's so "kewl," but seriously, that was a totally reckless thing to do and he should have been 100% court-martialed for it. The issue isn't just that he disobeyed orders, had he blacked out at the wrong time, he could have potentially crashed his billion dollar, state-of-the-art, Stealth fighter into the middle of Rangoon. Which would not only have been a major, and embarrassing, international disaster, and it would have probably resulted in even more casualties then if they had just gone with their original plan. In no way does Lucas deserve a pass for this. Finally, I'm so glad Charlie brought up the "Welcome to Alaska" line. Okay. I get it. It's an action movie. Whether dumb or cool, you simply can't just blow something up without having something pithy to say, but in context, "Welcome to Alaska" makes absolutely no sense. Seriously, what the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Were his foster parents from Alaska? Until a couple of hours ago, he didn't even know that place existed. He's on their turf. They're the one's from Alaska. Shouldn't that be their line? Were does he get off welcoming them to their own place?

So did the rest of the world.

There was a post-credits scene?!? I'm so sorry I missed that. Usually I sit through credits, but by the end of this movie I had hit my threshold for shitty Incubus songs. Please tell me it was Jamie Foxx's corpse being uploaded with EDI's consciousness.

It makes me irrationally happy to see that Mr. Harrison is absolutely killing it in the poll Also, I'd like to support Devin's opinion and double down that George was the handsomest Beatle. John and Ringo were interesting looking. Paul was cute in a non-threatening Elijah Wood/Frodo Baggins kind of way. But George had a certain look to him that I think often goes unremarked.

It feels like it's been awhile since we've had anything to add to this. Thank God for Incubus, I guess..? I can't think of a more perfect band to embody the stunning "meh"-ness of Stealth http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DsH7cT97i8 Make a move indeed...

Oh, I agree. I was responding to ElieB's comment about "2 Captains" with what I heard. I don't believe they should be tied to each other beyond mutual respect for their shared rank. However, I do disagree that it's going to be Bucky who succeeds him. While sympathetic, I think he has a little too much baggage. I think Sam gets it. But I think we can all agree that Steve is 100% dead by the end--probably while saving Tony's life.