Cameron H.

If you wanna fucking cry!

Yeah, when I was listening to it I was like, "ChunkStyle--what a fucking asshole!" But honestly, I think you all are being too harsh. Fortunately for me, he hasn't "egariously" butchered any of mine in a long time, but I still feel like it's a badge of honor for Paul to mutilate your posts. I've been re-listening to all the minis for nominees for the Howdy's (I don't feel right nominating any of my own) and I still cringe at his read of my LOL post. It was tragic. But, it's all in good fun. I still just think it's cool that he, Nate, or Marissa think any of my stupid bullshit is even worthy to be read. In regard to Fister's point about reading the posts that you don't think are very good, my favorite example of this was during the Zardoz 2 episode and my pseudo-philosophical meanderings on that movie. I remember writing that post simply because I was totally talking out of my ass. I hated that movie so much! And I was scrolling through all the comments and everyone seemed to be giving that movie so much weight and just assigning meaning to everything. So, in like ten minutes, I just farted out this post in response--basically making fun of all the mumbo-jumbo BS I was reading. Next thing I know, he's reading it to June, and they're saying something like, "Wow--I guess this movie really does make you think, doesn't it..."

I think you may want it too much. They may be afraid that if they do Annihilation that you'll have no reason to stick around. They're just keeping you on the line, my friend. Every listener counts.

Best One Liners Ep. 99 A View to a Kill 52:48 "Smart people don't own blimps!" -- Paul

I just ate a Jalapeno Fresco Chicken Sandwich™ from Wendy's. Oh, Paul... You owe me, bro. Big time.

Best Second Opinion Ep. 97 Rhinestone 1:15:13 "Wardrobe," by Matt Smith "the robe that freddy ugo had on blue satin or silk who is it made by and how can i buy it the robe he had on when she rent to his room to call off the bet." ETA: Another 2nd Opinion I forgot to add the other day... Ep. 95 Temptation 1:11:37 "Christ Soldier" (I couldn't find the original review on Amazon to quote directly here [y'know, to make sure I was getting the "grammar" right], but honestly, reading through the reviews looking for it was kind of its own reward) "Not much to say about Kim Kardashian, other than she's pretty and backs that thing up! Acting? She needs practice. The title's funny, but a better title would be 'Powerful Message of Temptation; Good vs Evil; Consequence vs Reward; God vs. Devil; Heaven vs. Hell; Faithfulness vs Betrayal'"

Don't try to cover your tracks! We both know that's exactly what you did!

Done. I also erased my response. If Fister now deletes MY comment, I think we can erase any implication of your involvement in this whole nasty affair.

How are you doing, Elektra Boogaloo? As established on the Can't Stop the Music thread, I assume since you're the digital June to my digital Paul, we must have given it to each other via our electric (digital) sexual chemistry.

We can only hope. Still not feeling great, but perfecting the art of looking like I'm working while sneaking in subtle cat naps. I've never had a sinus infection before...I had no idea it felt like someone took a 2x4 to the side of your face... But your trip sounds awesome! You've named three places on my bucket list. Keep an eye out for elves in Iceland. There's an episode of Destination Truth where they look for elves and it is some the funniest shit I've ever seen. If you are unfamiliar with Destination Truth, I highly recommend it--especially Seasons 2-5 since that's where they really hit their groove. It's basically Ghost Hunters, night vision type nonsense where the seek out crypto/mythological creatures. The episode where they go to Iceland I put on anytime I need a dumb laugh. There's a moment where one of the cameramen thinks he sees a light in this open field and they're like, "Do you think it was an elf?" and he replies, "I can't say it wasn't elves..." I know me writing that out doesn't do it justice, but it's great. My wife and I, when we were childless, used to pick up Four Loco (because we hate brain cells and things that don't taste like fruity motor oil) and play a drinking game with Destination Truth. You were to take a drink any time Josh Gates, the Host, quoted a movie, made a douchey comment, or made fun of the local people. And, if they ever came up with something we found compelling to prove the existence of one of these animals--basically, maybe there's something there--you had to shotgun whatever was left in the can. Fortunately, we only came close to having to do that once. I have only had two other drinking games that were ever as fun. The first was watching Twister. The rules were: anytime someone says "twister," "tornado," or other weather related terminology, and also whenever Bill Paxton flashed a shit eating grin. We had to amend the rules twenty minutes in because we were getting so trashed. So we had to remove the thing that occurred the most: Bill Paxton's stupid grin. The second game I remember fondly playing was back in college when me and a buddy would drink anytime a Jamaican spoke in a movie--we were watching Cool Runnings.

Sorry, I've been fighting with either a wicked sinus infection or a particularly virulent strain of Bubonic for the past few days, so I haven't had the strength to respond to a lot of your comments. That's exciting! Do you mind if I ask where you're headed? I would love to get out and do some traveling. I really hope they give it a pass this year. I mean, I'd love for Scott to do another episode, but dear God, no more Sharknado movies. I still haven't bothered to watch the third one. The joke is just so tired at this point. I 100% agree. I may have brought this up before, but if a movie or TV show can't get me within the first scene, I'm done. I have better things to do than wait around for your thing to "get good." It kind of reminds me of something my old creative writing professor taught me: it's not about the first chapter, or the first page, the first paragraph, or even the first sentence. Sometimes it honestly comes down to the first word. If I started a short story or something with the word "the" he'd give me all kinds of crap about it. At the time, I'd get really frustrated and I'd gripe bitterly to myself about how he didn't get it, but now I totally understand. From the first word, your story needs to be engaging. It's the difference between "Call me Ishmael" and "My name is Ishmael." You can have the most interesting story to tell in the world, but if you tell it in a way that is passive or not engaging, no one is going to give a shit.

Great research, but don't forget Bodhi himself, an ethereal creature that shares its name with another soaring Sun God and being of pure light--one, Mr. Patrick Swayze! Both "Bodhi" in Solarbabies and "Bodie" in Point Break are shortened variations on the Buddhist term Bodhisattva--although only Point Break claims this explicitly. I remember learning about Bodhisaatvas in World Religion back in college, and while I tried to supplement my knowledge with some research, I think I'll just fall back on my vague remembrances and leave it up to the kind world of the Internet to correct me if I'm wrong. Basically, a Bodhisaatva is a person who is right on the threshold of becoming Buddha--the highest state of enlightenment--but, since reaching this goal means you spend the rest of your life in blissed out meditation, it renders that person effectively useless to others. Bodhisaatvas deny themselves this final step to true enlightenment so they can still communicate with others and help them achieve Nirvana. While I don't think any of this information has any direct correlation to the events seen within the movie, I do think the writers thought they were being incredibly clever and deep when they named their characters.

Another solid nominee from Paul in Ep. 95 Temptation...(12:42) Best Metaphor/Simile: "I described, like, watching this movie was like coming into your house and everything was in a slightly different spot. It wasn't stolen, but it was, like, 'This is not right...'" ETA: Temptation is proving to be a treasure trove for nominees... I don't know if this should be considered a tangent or if it should fall into it's own category...Maybe, Best Personal Anecdote by Host/Guest. This category could capture any of Paul's "Tales From Blockbuster Video" and Jason's "Top Underwear" comment I submitted above. Anyway, it starts at 51:50... "You call it FUCKING!"

Best New Word Created on the Podcast: Ep.95 Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor (3:03) Jason Mantzoukas Top-Comma--an apostrophe, "It's, like, the bra of commas..." This also leads to a pretty good tangent about one of Jason's ex-girlfriends mother referring to bras as "top underwear."

I just remembered this one from Lake Placid... Best Second Opinion: (1:22:56) "WE LOVE THIS MOVEING AND ALL GET MOVES OUT ON WEEKENDS AND WACH THE MOVES WE HAVE ALL OF THAN"

Of all the twists and turns that happened in Solarbabies, I think the one that got me the most is the one that didn't happen. Namely, was anyone else totally expecting Metron to betray the rest of the group to the Sand Nazis? Not only is he constantly butting heads with the others, but he's introduced to us as the more "rational" minded of the Solarbabies, and because of this, he is reluctant to be taken in by the metaphysical nonsense implicated in Bodhi's existence. I thought for sure that he was going to be revealed as cahooting with Strictor Grock. Like, maybe he doesn't agree with Grock on an ideological level, but since he's set up as the film's pragmatist--and therefore sees the world as it is rather than how he'd like it to be--I feel like his character would have absolutely betrayed Bodhi to Grock to be studied. What my heart-gut wanted while I was watching the movie was for him to turn Bodhi over to the Protectorate, and once he realizes the Protectorate has no intention of studying his sentient, glowing God-Ball, but instead wants to destroy him/her/it, he'd have a change of heart and sacrifice himself to set Bodhi free. I feel like Metron's role in the movie was to be the cowardly rationalist destined to die a martyr's death after a spiritual conversion, but instead he turns out to be a reckless, electric fence pole-vaulting True Believer. I don't know--it just wasn't a satisfying character arc for me...otherwise, the movie was absolutely flawless.

I know you're joking, but in my defense, I feel like the dam was, like, really far away from the orphanage--or not. Who the fuck knows? And also, wasn't the dam covered by cement? Because no water is healthier than water that's been hidden underground and left to stagnate... Hopefully the Protectorate has a plan to combat, what I can only imagine must be, the near constant outbreaks of Legionnaire's Disease afflicting the populace.

Looks good, Taylor Anne! My only note would be--and while I certainly do appreciate the shout out--I feel like if you want to include that it should read, "Gif created by Cameron H, from an original video by Jay Marks" or something to that effect. I don't want it to sound like I "made" the animation, when all I did was clip a couple of seconds from someone else's, much more impressive, piece of art.

Ha, ha! I made it!!!!! Give me a sec, I'll find the link... Here you go! And you can look at all my marvelous creations!!! http://www.yourepeat.com/watch_gif/?v=43016e447b1cb9c2de29f71be8f27754

While it's true that the movie never explicitly states that it takes place in North America, I have to agree that it certainly feels like it does. So, with that being said, does anyone have any compelling theories on why the Bounty Hunters are British? While I understand dialects and accents can shift over time, I certainly don't think that the filmmakers had that in mind when they were making this movie, nor do the Bounty Hunters seem like they are old enough that they could have come to America prior to the Great Water Apocalypse and somehow retained their accents. So that only leaves the incredibly unlikely possibility that they grew up in England, and in a world apparently bereft of any vehicles capable of flight, they somehow dune-buggied, walked, or roller skated across the wide, desolate, and arid expanse that was once the Atlantic Ocean. If that's the case, this movie didn't give them enough credit--those are some bad motherfuckers right there!

I'll answer your questions first. Best Roller Skating--The Gute in Can't Stop the Music. It is a joy to watch him and makes me want to get a pair of skates, slip into some short shorts, head over to the park, and blare "Cover Girl" by NKOTB.* I found the skating in Solarbabies to be strictly utile, and besides Gene Kelly, Xanadu's skating was pretty clumsy. Best Bird Sidekick: LL Cool J's. Hands down. However, speaking of birds, the world of Solarbabies seems to be lousy with them. What are they drinking? I mean, I get that they're birds and probably don't need as much water as, say, a human, but doesn't there have to be some sort of water source for them nearby? Why can't Darstar use his avian hypnotism powers to train a bird to show them where some water is? *Adding video to save you all the trouble of looking that up, because I really want to let that image of me to really sink in to your mind's eye. (I wonder what you all imagine I look like...) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5d0T015ZA4 Damn! New Kids really were a powerhouse!

What was also weird about that was Shoulder Pads tells Sand Nazi something like, "We should turn it over to the Protectorate" and he says something like, "No, because then they'll take credit for destroying it." But if they destroy it without telling their superiors what they found, how are they going to prove that they destroyed Bodhi and therefore get the credit? The best they can do is dump an inanimate spherical rock on their boss' desk and say, "Check it! I killed God!"

Does anyone have a clear idea of how Leather Nazi's torture device works? After the Tchigani man is dragged away, Grock pulls the Protectorate Youth aside and says, "You can have whatever you want, whatever they fear most. Disease. Rats. Snakes. How would you like to see the flesh fall away from your body?" Now, I know this is arguing semantics, but Grock specifically says, "see the flesh," not "feel the flesh." It is also important to note, that once the machine has been turned off or the person is removed from the device, there is no sign of trauma. For example, the Tchigani guy isn't covered in fire ant bites. This seems to reinforce the idea that the torture isn't physical, but purely psychological. (And while I'm on the subject, fire ants? Really, guy? Ants are your greatest fear?) So, having said all that, I get how the torture could be effective if you didn't realize they were merely holograms, but Blond Haired Bully guy is told specifically, just before his hand is thrust over it, how it's all just an illusionary, magic trick for babies. So why does he freak the fuck out? He knows it's fake. It seems like if there is any pain associated with it at all, it's because it makes your brain think it's happening. And why does Grock, having just explained how the machine works, even bother to demonstrate it to the Blond Guy? You just gave away the only thing that makes that type of torture effective. In fact, it seems like it would be the easiest torture in the world to withstand if you know that what you're seeing isn't really happening. Also, what if your greatest fear is something more conceptual like the collapse of the Global Economy or aging? How does the machine show that?

Not trying to spam the thread, just trying to post things as I come to them... Best Metaphor/Simile: Jason, Episode 93--Staying Alive. Referring to Satan's Alley (11:05) "This is some sort of nonsense. This is like some sort of moog fantasy, ah, jazz nightmare!" Apropos of nothing, I also thought it was adorable during the mini-episode after Sharknado 2 that Paul says that it was the most commented on thread in their history because it had SEVEN whole pages. Seven pages seems like a pretty slow week nowadays.

Or Padawans...