Cameron H.

Yeah, I don't remember which episode it was, but I definitely remember that and Jason's "hard no" in response. As to whether or not he has a celebrity crush...I guess we'll all have to set a Google alert for any celebrity slash fic published by a "Schaul Peer" starring Keira Knightly and Steve Guttenberg.

Look! I'm going to try to polish this shit turd of a thread the best that I...the best...best..?..I... can...but...you're right...I give up... All I want now is to hear the dramatization of this thread. I'd really like to hear PFT's take on some of the more negative posts. I have a feeling he would really bring something to special to them ETA: Do the actor's act out or just describe the gifs?

Okay, guys--let's get back into it (He said knowing full well that nobody even cares anymore...) Jack and Samantha--those two are on a real roller coaster ride at the beginning, aren't they? First, Jack tells Samantha that he quit his job to pursue his passion for writing dance songs about men's althetic clubs and milkshakes, and she tells him he's crazy and points out that he has no source of income. To placate her, he assures her that if it doesn't go well he'll go back to dental school. Then, they go to Saddle Tramps, and after listening to his set, Samantha tells him, "You were wonderful...You should be recorded!" To which he replies dejectedly, "There's more to it than that...It's impossible! Look, nobody has time for anybody, and nobody gives new people a break." Then, later still, when he excitedly shows off his demo to her he asks, "What do you think?" and she replies, "I can't hear the music for your voice...the song may be wonderful, but your voice sounds like a cry for help!" Then finally, when she's about to give up on trying to sell his music, and after determining that the calorie and fat content of pride is far less than that of "two Snowballs, one Ding Dong, and a couple of Twinkies" he tells her, "You're doing [steve Waits] a favor [by having him sign me]! I'm a very talented composer..." Seriously, I can't even begin to tell whether these two are coming or going, but one thing's for sure, they sure can't ever seem to agree on the quality of his music at the same time...

Maybe...But I'm going to need to see a lot more of your posts punctuated with "brother."

Cameron H.: ...And Elektra Boogaloo. How are you, Elektra? Elektra Boogaloo: I'm fine, Cameron H. How are you? Cameron H.: I'm very good. Thank you for asking. (I don't know, guys. Was that too hot?)

I can live with that. You want Lapkus?

Good idea, Fister! We should definitely cast this...ooh...who could play me? I don't want to be greedy...

I. Love. This! Especially if you include all the posts where people feebly tried to talk about the movie. So it would go something like: I hated this episode, dummies! I loved it, stupid! I had trouble with how the Native American character was portrayed... I HATE You!

Whoa...low blow, man. We try to keep it civil around here.

You're wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! And I know you think it's unassailable, but Reddit's wrong too. Yeah, I said it. Guys, I could have sworn you all shared all of my tastes and opinions (i.e. all the right ones), how could I have been so taken in by all of you? I feel betrayed. How are we to have a fully functional and healthy society if we don't all agree about everything all the time? How can we learn and grow if we don't exist in an echo chamber of similar thoughts and interests? I don't want to be challenged! The next thing you know, you guys are going to try and convince me that lobster is actually good, and not the nasty Sea Spiders we all know them to be. News Flash: Butter sauce doesn't hide gross, viscous flesh.

Name a couple drinks, and I'll speak at you about how wrong you are for liking them. As for ham...I'm pretty ambivalent on the subject, but we can still fight about it if you want. Just as long as I can say what I want, as loudly as I want, and as discourteously as I want, so I can keep everyone's attention focused where it belongs--squarely on me.

You can't even take this seriously, can you? Look, I don't want anyone to misunderstand me, it's not like I hate all coconuts. Some of my favorite tropical cocktails have coconut rum in it. It's like Rupert Holmes sang, "Do you like Pina Coladas?" Answer: Of course, we all do. It's just when they start mixing with other foods, it's just not right. When God invented cupcakes, they were perfect as they were. If you add shredded coconut onto the icing, you're going against his will. (See: 13 Epicurians 54-69) I just don't see why coconut has to be all up in your face all the time, pretending like it's going to taste one way, when it actually tastes another way. If you want to know my biggest fear, it's that I'm going to take a huge bite into a pie one day, thinking it's a normal, delicious cream pie, only to find out it's coconut cream! That's what the coconuts really want, you know!

Oh fuck, you thought the thread was a mess before... I'm so sick of people coming on here and saying "coconut is the shit," when objectively, that's just not true. I mean, I'd like to post one post on how gross coconut is without everyone crying to their mommies like a bunch of little bitches. Although, I can't say I'm surprised. This is the kind of PC, liberal hate-speech I've come to expect from you, Fister! Why don't you take that shit to Reddit where you and your argumentative, dipshit, Internet buds (who can't take a little bit of honest criticism) can go have a circle jerk about how great coconut is? I want Paul, whether he enjoys coconut or not, to ban all coconuts from ever appearing on HDTGM ever again! I HATE YOU!!!!! MY OPINION IS KING!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, that's what I thought too. Who would go into a Baskin-Robbins and order that when--from what I hear--they have something like 29 other (better) flavors to choose from? And since I really want this thread to implode with a shared hatred for coconut, aside from the consistency (which we both agree is gross) it's also one of those foods that, based on the scent, promises one flavor, but delivers something totally different. I don't mind the smell of coconut, but goddammit it lies to you! It's kind of like how I felt when I initially tried coffee. I used to love the smell of coffee, but it always tasted like hot, rancid, stink water. Of course, I've since learned the errors of my ways, and learned that by adding every sweetener under the sun and plenty of cream, coffee is about the best thing in the world. Basically, my coffee drink of choice would be if you just let a scoop of coffee ice cream melt and poured it into a cup, I'd be in Heaven. A lot of food talk today...

Does anyone else feel that eating a hefty plate of lasagna is possibly the worst thing to eat prior to a full evening of patio sing-dancing? I feel like the the cheese would make me phlegm up, the carbs would feel like there were a ton of bricks in my stomach, the salt would cause me to bloat, and all that bouncing around would result in a lot of disgusting, marinara and garlic scented burps. It would be like eating sashimi before bedding your best friend's wife--and as Hulk Hogan has taught us--that's never a good idea. According to VoiceLessons.com she should have been serving: Or as ballerina, Michaela DePrince says on refinery29.com: It's like Samantha cares more about breaking her diet than her singers turning in a good performance. Not cool, Sam! Also, do you think there was any animosity between The Village People when the Police Officer was brought in? I can't imagine that conversation was easy. The Native American, Construction Worker (who said this was his dream), and the Cowboy, all signed up for the evening as a trio, and suddenly, this other dude shows up (who nobody knows), waltzes in, and takes over as the lead singer. I don't know about you, but I'd be piiiiiiiiiiiiissed. Construction Worker: "Hey Jack, um, who is this guy? I thought it was just the three of us? Jack: "I have no idea, but I'm glad he's here, because you guys suck. Besides, I think he might know I'm high, so just be cool." Lastly, and I can't believe it hasn't been brought up before this, but who is everyone's favorite Village Person? Mine is the Cowboy, and I'll tell you way. He has kind of this folksy charm that I find endearing, super kind eyes, and gives off a real Donny Osmond vibe. I feel like he would be the best friend you would ever have. ETA: I'm doing my best here, guys

CORRECTION: Okay, I'm coming after Esposito. In the episode she says, "Are you trying to tell me that men didn't wear, like, full Native American costumes to work at a straight bar." Now, I don't blame Cameron for missing this as I didn't catch it until this morning, but the bar they are working at, Gute, the Native American, and the Cowboy, is a place called "Saddle Tramps." I'm thinking that their outfits are to keep in line with the club's aesthetic and theme. I think the Indian and Cowboy mix it up and dance all sexy like with the customers to hype up the crowd. Now, I admit, the Cowboy doesn't directly say he works there, but if you look closely during the "S-s-s-Samantha" song (My favorite song in the movie, btw), you can see another (schlubbier) cowboy struggling with a lasso on the side of the dance floor. He appears at about 1:08. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35Yi53XJvqk So given that their wardrobes are less of a costume and more like work uniforms, I think it is entirely possible that you would find someone dressed like that at a bar--straight, gay, or whatever. As for the Construction worker...I'm not exactly sure what his deal is. Everyone else seems to be dressed for their profession, but during the opening, rollerskating-bliss scene, The Construction Worker peeks out of a manhole cover. Later, he is at the club with everyone else dancing with all the hot ladies. And finally, we come to find out that he's a commercial actor. My problem with him is that he never changes his clothes! Does he have a closet just bursting with denim, or is he wearing the same shit-soaked clothes everywhere he goes? Because, wash them as much as you want, dude, you ain't getting that sewer stank out of those duds. Is it possible he's going "method" for his commercial and really want to experience what it's like to be in the shit? And lastly (for now), for a music composer, The Gute sure does dance like he borrowed his legs from an seven toed, chimpanzee with a inner ear infection. I get that dancing is not exactly his thing, but you'd think he'd have some rhythm given his dream to write dance songs for a living...

Nothing weird about that at all... So we're both agreed that the ice cream flavors should have been "Bust a" Nut and Sweet Cream then, right? Here's my over sharing bit, the reason I'm not fond of coconut anything--especially shredded coconut--is because the mouth feel of that stringy shit always feels like I have a mouth full of pubes. It's like going down on someone who doesn't maintain that area after they've been to the beach all day and slathered themselves in tanning oil. Anyone else? Just me? Okay.

As promised, we're going to start talking about this movie today. I only had a chance to re-watch the beginning of it though, so I may have some more stuff tomorrow. For now, I'm just going to post this: For those who can't read it, "Can't Stop the Nuts" Ice cream was: coconut and nut flavored ice creams with both chocolate and candy covered almonds and a milk chocolate ribbon. My biggest issue is with the ice cream flavors. First of all, I find the term "nut flavored" ice cream to be distressingly vague. Also, coconut flavored ice cream? Gross. The fact that they didn't go with a Sweet Cream flavor feels like a huge oversight on Baskin-Robbins' part...

Huh...What an odd thing to write in the forums... If it's any consolation, I'd say we're the ones really missing out.

I also just wanted to add, my nephew's name is Finn, so there was like a real chance for this to happen:

Seriously, we're on me now... And tomorrow, we're gonna talk about this goddamn Village People movie!

My wife's surname actually is "Dameron." (And yes...I know if I took her name I'd be "Cameron Dameron.") Both my kids have/will have hyphenated last names, so I was really pushing for "Poe Dameron-H." She wasn't having it. This is, like, the funniest joke ever. I can't stop smiling

Ha! You don't know how close I was to throwing that responsibility out to you guys! The problem was, since we already have a boy, we were kind of thinking it was going to be a girl, so we had that name locked down. We hadn't really thought of a boy's name. Also, and here's the real problem, as you get older, you realize that with any name you can think of you've met at least one person with that name you just can't stand (could just be because I'm a misanthrope, also). Anyway, I thought of letting you all decide, because I respect all of your opinions; I looked forward to all the variations of "Nic Cage" that were bound to come up; and I was secretly hoping that I could tell my son one day, "Where did we get your name? Why, sit down son and let me tell you the story of Fister Roboto..." It all became moot though when he told us his name--it happens, I swear. So my second son's name is going to be Hunter. Which I particularly like for the literary connotations... I've got to say though, he was awfully close to being named Clint. My first born son's name is Jake (because we thought it sort of sounded like the name of a private eye in a film noir), and I thought Jake and Clint could maybe start their own Cowboy Detective Agency,™ but alas, a father's dream was not to be...

I can exempt you from any baby cursing (which is adorable btw) but it might be easier for you to just donate yours to charity. Just sayin' And thank you, Shannon!