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Favorite Earwolf Podcast

Found 3 results

  1. The movie is based on a video game that lets you adjust the jigglyness of womens boobs. DOA is up there with Mario brothers in crap movies. And the last 15 - 20 minutes is freaking nuts
  2. Hitman: Agent 47 looks like a fun hot mess. What strikes me most about the trailer is that everything looks expensive, everyone looks serious, yet the movie looks cartoon-y. The movie is currently scoring 29 on Metacritic. I doubt the score would move up after opening day. The various trailers of Hitman promise many interesting-looking action sequences that make no practical sense. As Jordan Hoffman from The Guardian puts it, "There’s probably a more effective way of killing people, but extending both arms perpendicular to your chest as you spin and shoot handguns is certainly a photogenic method. With any luck, your long coat will billow, adding the right touch of panache." Also ineffective, catching a car with grappling hooks and then rappelling down the rope while being fully exposed so that if you're lucky enough not to be shot out of midair, at the end of rope you have a genetically-enhanced assassin waiting to engage in close combat with you. [media=''] [/media]
  3. Before I delve into Silent Hill: Revelation, I'd like to state that I actually really like the first Silent Hill movie. I like the game series, and while it was a bit wonky with the dialogue and delivery I felt Silent Hill (2006) has a cool visual style and some genuinely cringe-worthy horror moments. Silent Hill: Revelation takes what positive elements exist in its predecessor and wipes its ass with them. Not only is it a terrible, terrible movie in its own right it also takes the time to completely fuck over the movie that came before it by basically retconning events and ignoring basically the entire ending to tell its own weird and confusing tale. I don't understand what is wrong with Kit Harrington, aside from Game of Thrones and How to Train Your Dragon 2 he has done Pompeii (no) and this movie (double no). Basically it follows the first film -- Sean Bean and his daughter are constantly on the move because dark forces are trying to draw her back to Silent Hill for dark purposes. Except that... (SPOILER ALERT) His daughter ended up being pretty much dead/not a real person at the end of the first movie. She was a manifestation of the "good" part of Alessa, the tortured character behind the demonic machinations of Silent Hill. Both the mother and daughter return to their home, to find themselves still a part of the ghostly afterlife while Sean Bean lives on. So basically Revelation says says "fuck that" and makes the daughter alive and a real person, and goes as far as to re-do a stupid scene where the dead mom talks to her husband from the ghost world using some Mortal Kombat Annihilation-level of visual effects. Aside from that, the effects are really bad. This movie was made in 2012, and 1) it looks worse than the first Silent Hill, 2) it looks worse than the recent video game iterations, 3) it looks like someone really liked the Resident Evil series of movies and based the visual style of this movie on those. Nothing makes sense in it, you will often times pause to exclaim aloud "THIS DOES NOT MAKE SENSE". It also has Malcolm McDowell in it for like 3 minutes, and they say the word "Facebook" four times. The only thing is you sort of have to watch the first movie to really understand how shitty this one is. Like Mortal Kombat and Annihilation. Edit: Oh yeah, also, they straight-up use footage from the first movie to supplement scenes in this one. They also use footage in this movie out of sheer laziness, like a birds-eye video of a car on a winding road -- this was ripped straight from the first Silent Hill.
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