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Episode 57.5 — Minisode 57.5

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I hope someone really asks the question, "why the hell is Burt Reynolds in this fucking movie?" Did he really want a European vacation that badly? Doesn't he still have some Cannonball Run money saved up for stuff like this or did Loni Anderson just take him to the cleaners? Out of all the confusing casting choices, he is the most confounding.

Burt had probably recently watched Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, saw Sean Connery looking all badass as King Richard, and said, "fuck yeah, that's gonna be me, but more so!"

 

He sucked big time in this movie.

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Have we considered that Paul might secretly hate us and these movies are his way of seeing how far he can string us along til we break?

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Have we considered that Paul might secretly hate us and these movies are his way of seeing how far he can string us along til we break?

 

This was actually the first HDTGM movie that I found no entertainment value in, at all.

 

I had such a fun time watching Liz & Dick and From Justin to Kelly: The American Idol Movie recently, for example, because they were hilariously bad. This one was just depressingly bad. It bummed me out.

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Uwe Boll movies are tough. Have you ever seen Blubberella? It is a difficult watch.

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So, just finished the movie and a few things popped out at me:

 

1) Ray Liotta appears to be playing Evil Wizard Liberace.

 

2) NO ONE in the movie ever bleeds, even if they've just been killed by a sword. The only blood I can remember is the little cut on Evil Wizard Liberace There's no blood on any weapons either (most notable the one Claire Forlani runs through Evil Wizard Liberace).

 

3) Are Kristianna Loken and her merry band of circus acrobats supposed to be elves, amazons, or both?

 

4) Damn near every kill in this movie is show from behind the back of the person being killed, which because both the fight choreography and the cinematography are GARBAGE and it's too hard to make sword combat look anything remotely realistic, apparently.

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It seems like a lot of people didn't enjoy watching this movie at all, and while I couldn't get past 15 minutes in the sequel to this, I really loved watching this movie. I don't mean I thought it was good in any way, just that it was so bad it was enjoyable, maybe the best bad movie I've ever seen. Did anybody else "enjoy" watching this one?

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It seems like a lot of people didn't enjoy watching this movie at all, and while I couldn't get past 15 minutes in the sequel to this, I really loved watching this movie. I don't mean I thought it was good in any way, just that it was so bad it was enjoyable, maybe the best bad movie I've ever seen. Did anybody else "enjoy" watching this one?

 

I did. I think if you cut all of the battle scenes out and just focus on the dialogue and acting it's shittiness really shines through.

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It seems like a lot of people didn't enjoy watching this movie at all, and while I couldn't get past 15 minutes in the sequel to this, I really loved watching this movie. I don't mean I thought it was good in any way, just that it was so bad it was enjoyable, maybe the best bad movie I've ever seen. Did anybody else "enjoy" watching this one?

 

I laughed out loud several times which to me means I'm having fun. The shot of Ray Liotta floating to the ground like Gene Simmons towards the end made the entire thing worth it for me. I also paused it to take a smoke break twice and I think breaking it up like that kept it fun.

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Yeah the entire final fight was amazing. Also when they cross the river early in the movie, using their clothes like a zipline type thing, was shot and cut so horribly I had to rewind it a couple times because I couldn't stop laughing. And I think somebody already mentioned it but the music was amzingly bad. For a movie with a 60 million dollar budget theres no excuse for the score to sound that cheap.

 

Also, in a movie full of overacting, Matthew Lillard is by far the greatest.

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This movie was terrible. Uwe Boll is THE WORST. I swore I'd never sit through another of his shitty shitfests after seeing 'House of the Dead' in the theater years ago with some buddies, but i made an exception for HDTGM, and a fair amount of morbid curiosity on my part. All that aside, I got some very healthy belly laughs out of a couple moments, this being one of them:

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I also paused it to take a smoke break twice and I think breaking it up like that kept it fun.

 

While I was able to watch it straight through, I can understand the need for most to break it up. Also, while not

necessarily a requirement, smoking is highly recommended for this one.

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It seems like a lot of people didn't enjoy watching this movie at all, and while I couldn't get past 15 minutes in the sequel to this, I really loved watching this movie. I don't mean I thought it was good in any way, just that it was so bad it was enjoyable, maybe the best bad movie I've ever seen. Did anybody else "enjoy" watching this one?

I disagree on both counts. This movie was a joyless slog, filled with joyless characters that were difficult to care about. There was a decent amount of "what's happening!?" moments, but not enough to support a two hour run-time.

 

The sequel, on the other hand, is amazing. Modern day Dolph in midevil times is absurd, and gives the movie the sense of fun that was totally absent in the first one. The female lead is as hilariously bad as anyone I've ever seen in a movie. The story is stupid, but followable. The ending is dumb as hell. It's the complete package.

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