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Episode 18 — Finish The Fight!

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The heat has finally gotten to our heros as they continue their heated battle against the remaining red robed collectors and clockwork men. Will they be able to cleave their way to victory? What happened to Sparklett? How much charisma does Blaine have? Listen to find out these answers and more! Plus, a special guest shows up for a segment called Dwarkaoke! This episode is brought to you by Calvin and Klein.

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As soon as I fully wake up I'm going to be rocking the shit out of this episode!

 

Also, first! Haha!

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You can't put out the sun. It's not firey like as in fire, it's nuclear reactions, and it wouldn't just make a bunch of vapour. It's too hot for steam to even exist, it becomes "supercritical" I think is the physics term, it's too hot to even be a gas above 700 degrees or so (the surface of the sun is between 9000 and 10000 degrees Fahrenheit, and even the colder, redder stars you find in the universe are still between 4000-5000 degrees, so way over 700) :

 

IVA5H1d.png

 

It'd just keep splitting the water into hydrogen and oxygen and fuel helium fusion reactions with the hydrogen it already has meeting all the new hydrogen; the sun would keep getting bigger and more violent and more hot until there was so much weight it all crunched down into a black hole that started sucking up all the water that passed the event horizon

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"No, I'm not your trained monkey." Is an excellent battle cry.

 

I bet those losers with their sexy ab leader that are hanging out in the garbage would be willing to help them if they knew they'd be dying in 3 days if they did nothing.

 

Also not to be a rules guy, but I'm not sure if they're taking advantage of "Combat Advantage". Basically you get a +2 on your attack rolls when you're flanking an opponent.

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Can we get a transcipt of Patton's song? Holy Hell!

 

I have a new segment idea. I would love to hear Sark's thoughts/notes on creating the story. I'm interested to know what inspired the water elementals. Sark, where do you get your ideas and how much of the story is prepared before hand and made up on the spot?

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Just wanted to say thanks to you guys and girls for getting me and my buddies into D&D, we are all new players and having a blast. Thanks guys!

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Sweet. Fucking. Episode. I love this.

 

Also, +1 for Joshie for the Physical Chemistry drop.

P. Chem was my least favorite chem series in undergrad.

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I'm uncertain about the wording for the Bartho Shett lines, but I'm pretty sure everything else in Patton's Nerd Poker ballad is right. Corrections are welcome.

 

Under the hills of heroes,

Beneath the world of sun,

There roared the voice of fortune,

Of battles lost and won

Few were brave and less were bold

To enter dungeons dark and cold

But those whose swords and wits were keen

Can lick my ass my ass and suck my peen

Fart fart fart fart

Cow clit

Poop

Oh, Blackie Green he sucked my peen with elvish lips so soft

I thought my dwarven sausage had attracted a cumdrunk moth

When Bartho Shett Bore, a dragonborn,

Spread both his buttcheeks on the morn

And by the night was filled with spooge

I fucked his gaily chute

Oh paint your ballsack blue, boy, and drink a keg of ale

Piss on the door and punch a whore and shit in a pail

Milfred was a warrior stout but dumb as a goblin’s fart

She tried to fuck an umber hulk his pincers made her shart

And Amoth raised his mighty sword and bellowed a warrior’s cry

His war god thought it was a queef and jerked off in his eye

Finally in the ass of hell the soul of a priest so fair

Was dipped in a bucket of zombie cum and ass-raped by a bear

Oh take a flagon of dragon piss

Stir it with your cock

Jizz in a blizzard of wizard’s gizards,

Fuck a plate of beans.

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I have a new segment idea. I would love to hear Sark's thoughts/notes on creating the story. I'm interested to know what inspired the water elementals. Sark, where do you get your ideas and how much of the story is prepared before hand and made up on the spot?

 

Toss this question into the forum topic, "Questions for Sark" and there is a good chance you'll get an answer.

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"I fucked his gaily chute "...should read "I fucked his SCALEY chute"

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Blaine's "I heard Subulba's running Hollywood" was sublime and the comment about "Getting together down by the airport to sit on a car hood and just talk" was so great.

 

Patton's song, and the raucous laughing, was one of the greatest moments in this podcast and pasted a smile to my face.

 

LEVEL UP

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I'm still wondering what the connection between the Collectors and the women from the beginning. I still have a lot of questions and I think Sparklet would know the answers.

What was the deal with the first hostage going crazy when she saw her own dead body?

Are the robed figures the women in some way?

Also, what about Trass?

 

These questions brought to you by NETFLIX! "NETFLIX: Because, seriously, Fuck You Blockbuster! You swore at my mom that one time! I'm glad your ship is sinking! NETFLIX!"

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Also not to be a rules guy, but I'm not sure if they're taking advantage of "Combat Advantage". Basically you get a +2 on your attack rolls when you're flanking an opponent.

 

They're so off the rails at this point that Gerry could come back as the smoke monster from Lost.

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"I fucked his gaily chute "...should read "I fucked his SCALEY chute"

 

The thought of that...uh! Guess Patton must have magic lube.

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They're so off the rails at this point that Gerry could come back as the smoke monster from Lost.

 

His character arc would probably be closer to the polar bear. Or the...spirit bear?

 

ZOOOOOOOOOM!

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Also not to be a rules guy, but I'm not sure if they're taking advantage of "Combat Advantage". Basically you get a +2 on your attack rolls when you're flanking an opponent.

 

Don't sweat it! Good heads up! The longer I use 4th, and especially the longer I use 4th without an actual table, the less I like it. I see what they were going for, and I can even see enjoying it more under different circumstances. But as it is I'm glossing over so many of the movement / map / grid reliant rules I've practically written 4th Lite. I mangled 2nd Ed as well, but it was poorly written so it allowed for that :)

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You can't put out the sun. It's not firey like as in fire, it's nuclear reactions, and it wouldn't just make a bunch of vapour. It's too hot for steam to even exist, it becomes "supercritical" I think is the physics term, it's too hot to even be a gas above 700 degrees or so (the surface of the sun is between 9000 and 10000 degrees Fahrenheit, and even the colder, redder stars you find in the universe are still between 4000-5000 degrees, so way over 700) :

 

It'd just keep splitting the water into hydrogen and oxygen and fuel helium fusion reactions with the hydrogen it already has meeting all the new hydrogen; the sun would keep getting bigger and more violent and more hot until there was so much weight it all crunched down into a black hole that started sucking up all the water that passed the event horizon

 

Hahaha this post was epic! Thanks for the lesson I love this kind of thing. If I'd had time to research this properly I actually would've liked to explore the black hole angle but the idea of our universe springing a leak and the water elemental plane filling it up with infinite water tickled me so much I just ran with it.

 

For the sake of physics we'll say that water straight from the plane is SO pure and plentiful that it defies our science. Or maybe that since it makes up not only the environment but also the denizens, that they have control on an atomic level that defies our puny starfire. Or both. Yeah, both. :)

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Awesome session. The party needs to try and capture one of these collectors. Charm maybe? Killer idea with the water elemental suits! Wonder if they can form edged or blunt tentacles the party can fight with like a T2? Extra arms? Projectiles? Maybe help springing and jumping? Spray a cone of super-heated steam? EPIC HYDRO DICK LANCE!

Should try to have them all merge like voltron to form a giant water golem. Watch out for electrical and cold attacks.

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"Jizz in a blizzard of wizard's gizzards"...

 

Crap... I was fucking crying when I heard that.

 

And to echo what someone else said, because of this show, I've managed to get a bunch of work folks together to play DnD. Characters are made and our first session starts in a week or so!

 

Thank you!

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Don't sweat it! Good heads up! The longer I use 4th, and especially the longer I use 4th without an actual table, the less I like it. I see what they were going for, and I can even see enjoying it more under different circumstances. But as it is I'm glossing over so many of the movement / map / grid reliant rules I've practically written 4th Lite. I mangled 2nd Ed as well, but it was poorly written so it allowed for that :)

 

Mr. Sark, you should really just do whatever tickles your pickle. You guys can't be not funny and most of us don't know shit about D&D anyway. I say go for it.

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