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Darian

Superman Returns (2006)

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So I think they really need to cover this movie, especially with the pending release of Man of Steel.

 

SPOILER WARNING!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

I mean, it's a 3 hrs movie about stalker Superman, who is weakened by a regular sized piece of Kryptonite, but can somehow lift a continent of it....WHAT THE FUCK???

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXdViWVgHq4

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I know people complain about this scene, but honestly I don't see the issue. He was stabbed with the smaller piece of Kryptonite. He gets a supercharge from the sun and then immediately falls into a coma after lifting the island into space, so it's not as if there are no stakes or consequences to that scene. Plus the continent isn't entirely made of Kryptonite, that's why when he lifts it and the rock begins to fall away you can finally see the Kryptonite poking through.

 

The movie is flawed and way too reverential to the Donner movies, but I really didn't find it to be a bad movie.

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It would make me sad to see this movie done. I think it's deeply flawed, but I don't think it's that bad, and as a longtime Superman fan, I appreciated that Bryan Singer basically wrote a long long-letter to the original movies, for better or for worse.

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More than anything else, I think this movie just wasn't the kind of movie it needed to be, especially after how long it took to get another "Superman" movie on the screen. I mean, it was disappointing for sure, but it seemed even worse when you think of it in terms of what it could have been, and I don't exactly mean the Burton/Cage version, because it passed through EVERY set of hands in Hollywood. How hard would it have been to get a writer that knows the character to whip up a fun, action-packed Superman movie?

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I used to frequent a forum where someone posted a huge history of the movie's tour through development hell. Basically, Warner Brothers gave the rights to Jon Peters, who then proceeded to try and make a movie that would have been "Superman" in name only; among other fun details that Kevin Smith has discussed before, one draft had the costume seem to use the origin story of Venom from "Spider-Man," infecting Clark Kent after coming out of a tennis ball container or some such thing. It got to the point where other producers who were more friendly toward the "Superman" mythos begged to do the movie instead of Peters, and Warner kept blowing them off. (Ultimately, Peters' producing role on the final product appears to have been minimal, which is why it resembles anything people would call "Superman.")

 

Personally, I wasn't big on the final product. Then again, I saw "Superman II" years before, and didn't really care for it. (I still haven't seen the original, which I am aware is basically considered the gold standard for superhero movies.) The only thing that stands out in my mind is how little plot it seemed to have for a big superhero movie. Seriously, shouldn't a supervillain's plan have more steps to it than the Underpants Gnomes' business plan?

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I used to frequent a forum where someone posted a huge history of the movie's tour through development hell. Basically, Warner Brothers gave the rights to Jon Peters, who then proceeded to try and make a movie that would have been "Superman" in name only; among other fun details that Kevin Smith has discussed before, one draft had the costume seem to use the origin story of Venom from "Spider-Man," infecting Clark Kent after coming out of a tennis ball container or some such thing. It got to the point where other producers who were more friendly toward the "Superman" mythos begged to do the movie instead of Peters, and Warner kept blowing them off. (Ultimately, Peters' producing role on the final product appears to have been minimal, which is why it resembles anything people would call "Superman.")

 

Personally, I wasn't big on the final product. Then again, I saw "Superman II" years before, and didn't really care for it. (I still haven't seen the original, which I am aware is basically considered the gold standard for superhero movies.) The only thing that stands out in my mind is how little plot it seemed to have for a big superhero movie. Seriously, shouldn't a supervillain's plan have more steps to it than the Underpants Gnomes' business plan?

Lex's plan in "Returns" is almost exactly the same as it was in the first film, which was essentially a crazy real estate scheme. Even though "Returns" is supposed to be a sequel, it's really more of a retread than anything else.

 

OH, I just remembered something. It seemed like in his absence the people really turned on Superman, and it showed that Lois won some awards for her articles about it, but when he reappears, it's like it NEVER happened. It would have been pretty interesting to see Supes return to a world that didn't necessarily miss him where he would have had to win some trust back, but instead it's business as usual, and the whole world looks like a bunch of hypocrites.

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The first three weeks this movie was in theaters, every time a commercial for it came on I said "Oh yeah! I still gotta see that!" Then I saw it. The very next day, a commercial for it came on and I said "Oh yeah! I still gotta see that!"

 

That's what little impression this movie made on me. And super-baby was weird. Oh hi, Kal Penn. What, nothing to say?

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This is the superman movie that had a internet rumor that Brandon Routh was gay. if I recall. not that there is anything wrong with that. personal I am holding off on recommending this as a HDTGM tell the new superman movie comes out. I am not so sold on it being all that good. it's got a lot of good actors in it but the last trailer didn't really do much for me. It's got Russell Crowe in it too, so you know he's not in it for just the money, hell no. the mans an artist when it comes to making movie$.. ohh and kevin costner is in it too. think about that one for a litlte bit before you hit the reply button.

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OH, I just remembered something. It seemed like in his absence the people really turned on Superman, and it showed that Lois won some awards for her articles about it, but when he reappears, it's like it NEVER happened. It would have been pretty interesting to see Supes return to a world that didn't necessarily miss him where he would have had to win some trust back, but instead it's business as usual, and the whole world looks like a bunch of hypocrites.

 

I thought they actually explored that very effectively. Besides, his first appearance is when he saves thousands of people by preventing the airplane crash, did you expect them to boo him?

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Lex's plan in "Returns" is almost exactly the same as it was in the first film, which was essentially a crazy real estate scheme. Even though "Returns" is supposed to be a sequel, it's really more of a retread than anything else.

 

OH, I just remembered something. It seemed like in his absence the people really turned on Superman, and it showed that Lois won some awards for her articles about it, but when he reappears, it's like it NEVER happened. It would have been pretty interesting to see Supes return to a world that didn't necessarily miss him where he would have had to win some trust back, but instead it's business as usual, and the whole world looks like a bunch of hypocrites.

 

Why is it that all of the bad guys have crazy real estate development plans? M. Bison from Street Fighter, the old dude from Roadhouse, and now Lex Luther. Tip to screenwriters: if your main villain's plan hinge on property values and tax adjustments, you need to get a better villain.

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The only thing good about this movie was that it gave Kal Penn another job after Harold and Kumar. And I'm pretty sure he used some of that money to donate to President Obama's first election campaign. So kudos.

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The only thing good about this movie was that it gave Kal Penn another job after Harold and Kumar. And I'm pretty sure he used some of that money to donate to President Obama's first election campaign. So kudos.

 

 

He seems like a stand up guy. I remember being impressed that he'd quit a (at the time) very successful TV show to work in politics.

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This is the superman movie that had a internet rumor that Brandon Routh was gay. if I recall. not that there is anything wrong with that.

 

I'm sure he isn't; he doesn't exactly have the huge, high-profile career that would be theoretically jeopardized by coming out. Nonetheless, between his cameo in "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" and that short-lived "Partners" sitcom he was on, he does seem to get cast in gay roles quite a bit.

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I thought they actually explored that very effectively. Besides, his first appearance is when he saves thousands of people by preventing the airplane crash, did you expect them to boo him?

They seem to drop it really quick though, if I remember correctly. I mean, yeah, he saves a plane full of people (mostly just reporters and stuff) from disintegrating, but it's not like he saved the world or anything, at least not yet, and it didn't seem like a task worthy enough of everyone just pulling a 180 and never bringing it up again. It's like "Fuck you, we don't need you...until we do, at which point we'll disregard all the 'not needing you' stuff that we said when you weren't around".

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They seem to drop it really quick though, if I remember correctly. I mean, yeah, he saves a plane full of people (mostly just reporters and stuff) from disintegrating, but it's not like he saved the world or anything, at least not yet, and it didn't seem like a task worthy enough of everyone just pulling a 180 and never bringing it up again. It's like "Fuck you, we don't need you...until we do, at which point we'll disregard all the 'not needing you' stuff that we said when you weren't around".

 

Well, he saves the entire stadium full of people. Otherwise the plane would have wiped them all out. But it wasn't really an issue of the world deciding they didn't need Superman, it was Lois Lane. She wrote the piece, and then we later see her writing a reversal. It was about their relationship, not so much Superman's relationship to the people of Earth.

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I really hated this the first time I saw it, but after watching it a second time I noticed a few things. One, I still didn't think it was that great of a movie, but not nearly as bad as my first impressions.

Second, that Singer is a very talented film maker who just got caught up in his love of Superman(character,comics,movies) and made a few mistakes that made it seem much worse than it really was.

And finally, that making a Superman movie in the 21 century is going to be very difficult for any writer/director. When compared to movies like X-Men, Avengers, and Batman, Superman just seems boring to most people.

 

As far as The Man of Steel goes, I really hope we get the Zack Snyder who made Dawn of the Dead and not the one who made all of his other movies.

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Well, he saves the entire stadium full of people. Otherwise the plane would have wiped them all out. But it wasn't really an issue of the world deciding they didn't need Superman, it was Lois Lane. She wrote the piece, and then we later see her writing a reversal. It was about their relationship, not so much Superman's relationship to the people of Earth.

He didn't save the stadium full of people so much as just land the plane there, I think, actually putting them in more danger, didn't he? I think it was probably the only place big enough to put the plane down though, so it makes sense at least. That whole sequence was definitely the highlight of the film, and it's a shame that it came only a third of the way in.

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You know what? When I see a Superman movie, I want to see Supes PUNCH something. Not stalk old girlfriends who've moved on. I think Bryan Singer is a good director and could have made a modern classic. Instead of making Bryan Singer's Superman, he make Bryan Singer's Richard Donner's Superman.

 

And, yes, liftng the boat while standing on it makes me laugh every time I see it...

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You know what? When I see a Superman movie, I want to see Supes PUNCH something.

Oh shit, I came here to post this. What a boring movie. I have zero recollection of it except for Parker Posey.

 

Saw the trailer for the new one last night, it looks like a shitfest. It literally looks the same as every other CGI crazy whizbang summer blockbuster i.e. Green Lantern, Avengers, Wrath of the Titans, etc. I don't understand the need to reboot these characters every five years. EVERYONE KNOWS WHO SUPERMAN IS. I don't need half the film wasted on an origin or world building; just drop the audience into a cool story and go with it.

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To be fair, we've only seen Supers origin on the big screen once. And that was 35 years ago.

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The reveal of Super son really bothered me, because given Superman and Lois' interactions in the movie I don't believe for a second they could've ever possibly had sex. Is it just me or did they just not have the chemistry or familiarity of past lovers AT ALL? They seem like old acquaintances at best.

 

But the film was also just disappointing because most of the Superman action consisted of Superman lifting or catching things. The coolest part of the movie is in the trailer, when a bullet crushes against his eyeball. I don't think the movie is as terrible as people make it out to be, it's mainly just a really dull film, and when you go to a Superman movie you expect to have at least a little fun and excitement.

 

I know there are some detractors when it comes to Man of Steel, and who knows if it'll be any good, and I agree we don't need to see the origin story of a character practically the entire world knows the origin of, but it looks like it'll at least be a fun popcorn flick. A "CGI crazy whizbang summer blockbuster" is precisely what I hope it'll be.

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The reveal of Super son really bothered me, because given Superman and Lois' interactions in the movie I don't believe for a second they could've ever possibly had sex.

And you would be correct! They can't possibly have sex, because Superman's supersperm would wreck Lois. If you've never read Larry Niven's classic analysis of the situation, do yourself a favor.

 

And I mostly agree with you, it's just that Zach Snyder's films are really overblown and all sound & fury; he's the master of style over substance. The only one I really liked was Watchmen, although from a distance I like that one less and less.

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The only one I really liked was Watchmen, although from a distance I like that one less and less.

 

I've only seen "Watchmen," and just from that, I think Snyder missed all the allusions and subtle details in the comic book in favor of "Ooh! Superheroes! Shiny!"

 

Also, in film school, one of my teachers put on the directors' commentary for "300," and it's one of the most boring things imaginable. He seems to want to discuss nothing but how they achieved all the technical details ("we shot her doing this dance underwater so her robes would flow"), never acknowledging the stupidly insane things going on in the movie. (Also, his comments about making the enemy of that movie more flamboyant because it's scarier for guys in their 20s is... ugghh, grr.)

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