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Episode 64 — After Earth


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#1 July Diaz

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Posted 10 June 2013 - 11:07 PM

Giant birds, weird wheelchairs, and ghosting are just some of the unbelievable things that are found in the Will & Jaden Smith vehicle After Earth. Paul, June, Jason, and Paul F. Tompkins discuss future British accents, an emotionless Will Smith, and animals that do nothing but kill. They also talk about the possible references to Scientology, a future with no doors & only a sword as a weapon, and June’s interpretation of what really happened in the birthday candles flashback scene.

#2 Ryan Sz

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Posted 10 June 2013 - 11:10 PM

Paul F. Tompkins back on the show? Fuck Yes!

#3 Michael Bay of Pigs

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Posted 10 June 2013 - 11:15 PM

After Earth and Paul F... can't wait! EDIT: Hilarious. Junes understanding of the facetime scene was amazing.

#4 Gym Sockerman

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 12:26 AM

"We have prosthetics now!"
Amazing.

#5 JustinL

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 12:44 AM

I didn't think Pasta Robot could be topped, then came "What's a Street Fighter?". I didn't think "What's a Street Fighter?" could be topped, then came After Earth Birthday Candle Facetime. You're awesome, June, leaky eye and all!

I feel totally vindicated for "enjoying" this movie. People and critics have been huge assholes about this film and the family Smith, tremendously silly though they may be, and I was worried this episode might be more of the same. Thank you, HDTGM, for being reasonable, fair, and hilarious.

My favorite moment in this film, during which I was honestly stifling laughter, is when Jaden Smith finds a piece of the crashed spaceship but has to clear away the brush to see the name on it to make sure it's a piece of HIS crashed spaceship.

And they never even touched on the beacon that Jaden has to walk around with like he has bad cellphone reception.

I really want to reiterate how happy I am that the ribbing of this movie remained so good-natured. I smile when I think back on it as if to say, "Aww. It's so cute that you thought this would work!"

#6 TeeHeeLawrence

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 01:40 AM

Jaden Smith's ego should not be protected in this movie. He is utter garbage.

YOU THINK I'M A COWAR'!?

#7 TeeHeeLawrence

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 01:49 AM

Also, was anyone else under the impression that this whole movie was going to end up being a training program, possibly VR? Especially when Jaden goes through the same experience for "ghosting" - i.e. being hit in the same shoulder as his father with an ursa pincer and then immediately falling into water juuuust like his father. Also taking into account all the ridiculous life-threatening experiences he goes through all at once. It all seems like it is pointing toward being a giant test. Full disclosure, I am only like 10 minutes into this episode, so my apologies if any of this gets discussed in the episode proper.

#8 Herself

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 02:19 AM

I literally just gasped in glee to see PFT as the guest! Can't wait to listen! Squeeeee!

#9 danm_999

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 04:37 AM

Umm, so when Will Smith goes over to the spaceship window and feels it vibrating against his medallion, what exactly about the asteroid field is causing the ship's window to vibrate? There's no air in space, and hence no sound, so where were the vibrations coming from...?

PFT is always such a great guest on podcasts, in or out of character. He had really great chemistry with the gang as they riffed on this movie.

And as for this movie...Jesus. What a dumb, dumb message. Fear is a choice? No, it's a biological reaction to stimuli which was helped humanity survive for millions of years by nagging us with important shit like "hey, you better eat soon or you'll die horribly emaciated", or "hmm, maybe I shouldn't get any closer to that hissing sound in the bushes".

And what's up with all these pussies around the world in Syria and Turkey and North Korea afraid for themselves and their families because of famine, disease, war and genocide? Didn't they get the memo from the great M Night? Stop being so afraid!

#10 ZARATHUSTRA

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 04:57 AM

I literally almost died when June explained her Birthday-Facetime theory, that was amazing

"Will Smith had gotten to a place where he had such mind control and power"

#11 Misleading Ninja

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 05:45 AM

View Postdanm_999, on 11 June 2013 - 04:37 AM, said:

And what's up with all these pussies around the world in Syria and Turkey and North Korea afraid for themselves and their families because of famine, disease, war and genocide? Didn't they get the memo from the great M Night? Stop being so afraid!


I think you're giving too much credit to M. Night and not enough to Will Smith.

#12 Bruce Reid Robinson II

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 06:11 AM

Oh boy, I need a PFT template. Earbear? Dost thou have the time to make one?

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#13 TheGr8Sarcasmo

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 06:33 AM

Kind of off topic, but has anyone else noticed that movies from year to year follow some sort of common thread? Last year the big thing was Archery (Brave, Avengers, Hunger Games, etc.) this year it is this sci fi genre focused on Earth being a terrible place (Elysium, After Earth, Oblivion).

Back to the topic, I'm halfway through this ep and still not one single "afterbirth" joke. I'm getting worried.

#14 Shariq Torres

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 06:36 AM

View PostTheGr8Sarcasmo, on 11 June 2013 - 06:33 AM, said:

Kind of off topic, but has anyone else noticed that movies from year to year follow some sort of common thread? Last year the big thing was Archery (Brave, Avengers, Hunger Games, etc.) this year it is this sci fi genre focused on Earth being a terrible place (Elysium, After Earth, Oblivion).

Back to the topic, I'm halfway through this ep and still not one single "afterbirth" joke. I'm getting worried.


This year it seems to be a preoccupation with blowing up the White House and taking the President hostage. There are several shitty movies that have that as a main theme.

#15 Bruce Reid Robinson II

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 07:00 AM

PFT's laughter makes every podcast he appears on. Its scientifically proven.

#16 Shariq Torres

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 07:32 AM

I wanted to go see this movie last weekend, but didn't have anyone to go with. No one wanted to go see this, but I think I'll go see by myself, fuck it.

So, what I'm curious about is why isn't Will Smith putting Jaden in teen movies? Or movies targeted toward teens, like the Karate Kid. Unless, Jaden is trying to be known as a sci-fi actor? Is that a thing?

#17 Shariq Torres

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 07:35 AM

I don't think June was incorrect in her facetime assessment. Will Smith actually can blow out the candles through a video because he's reached OT Level 8. He can also walk on water.

#18 Lando

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 07:41 AM

Hello people of After Earth!

#19 Shariq Torres

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 07:44 AM

I just wanna share this photo of Spike Lee at the premiere. He's like, "Fuck this movie. I'm just here to try to get Will attached to my next project."

http://www.imdb.com/...95488/tt1815862

#20 Bruce Reid Robinson II

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 07:50 AM

View PostShariq Torres, on 11 June 2013 - 07:44 AM, said:

I just wanna share this photo of Spike Lee at the premiere. He's like, "Fuck this movie. I'm just here to try to get Will attached to my next project."

http://www.imdb.com/...95488/tt1815862


Spike makes that face a lot. His disinterest in hollywood type stuff is one of my favorite things ever. I can't believe someone else noticed that.

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