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JulyDiaz

Episode 67 — Sharknado

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Kazaam meets Sharknado: Shaqnado

surely the big aristotle has already used this name before

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Ok, so your volcano sequel idea was great, but don't go for dinosaurs. Let it be dragons that are shot out of the volcano. EVERYONE knows that dragons are creatures of fire, so none of those losers out there (you know, scientists or logical people in general) will be able to argue the reality of the premise. I think you all would make a fantastic sequel for the Syfy channel! Good luck! And thanks for the surprise, it made my day. :-)

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Kazaam meets Sharknado: Shaqnado

 

SHHHH, don't say that because he would do that movie in a heartbeat.

 

Also, does this mean that the lineup of the show is pushed back a week? Or will they have the Over The Top episode next week and keep the usual schedule like they did with the Badass episode leading into Godzilla the following week? And can we still have Scott come back to do Alex Cross, because that movie needs to be eviscerated along with Temptation which has a BATSHIT INSANE morality message.

 

As far as The Asylum goes, from what I've seen and heard about that company is that their mockbusters are usually shit, but when they do an original movie, they are surprisingly good and get decent reviews.

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How about Spidernado... a movie about a tornado that spits out 40-year old virgins dressed in Spiderman outfits.

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How about Spidernado... a movie about a tornado that spits out 40-year old virgins dressed in Spiderman outfits.

 

This is a lot less scary than I thought it was going to be

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Scott wanted to set up "MAI WAIFE" at the very end sooo bad but no one bit on it hahah

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Ok, I originally objected to this movie being covered, but I was clearly out of my mind. Not only did you get The Chocktaw, but you gave it to us as a b-b-b-b-b-b-onus episode!

 

Scary boob everybody!

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I can maybe explain the opening scene a little bit because most people probably won't get what it is a reference to and don't get why there is an asian businessman on a boat

 

Like much of the film there are these poorly rendered, ham-fisted, environmentalist references dropped in.

 

On the deck of the ship they cut off a shark fin.

Then the businessman takes a sip from a bowl.

That is supposed to be sharkfin soup, a delicacy in asia. Traditionally it served at weddings as a status symbol.

What they do is catch sharks by the thousands, cut off only the fins, then sell the fins for a really high price in fish markets.

This has made some sought after species of sharks really, really endangered (among other causes).

 

They discuss the million dollars because that is what the film writers think the shark fins would be worth. Really, 20,000 sharks would be worth tens of millions. The shark fin trade has become a favorite "legitimate" racket for organized crime in asia. That is why there is a crime element with the gun and such.

 

So now you know all about what that scene was really supposed to mean.

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So I timed it. 58 seconds take place between when we first meet Tara Reid's boyfriend and his being attacked by a shark jumping through a window. 102 seconds after we first meet him, his legs are torn from his body as they try to rescue him from the shark's mouth. Honestly, it felt a lot shorter while watching.

 

Still, I put it to you, HDTGM listeners: is this the fastest a movie has ever gone between introducing a jerky romantic rival to the protagonist, and having said rival die a grisly, grisly death?

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Well this was unexpected. I didn't even get a chance to watch this yet, but I guess I'd better hunt it down.

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Arachnidalanche. There's a fucking avalanche of mutant spiders from the hills of the Hollywood sign down into the city. Disrupted from their podcast taping on Sunset Blvd., the How Did this Get Made crew, with guest Hot Soccermom, navigate the streets crawling with the hideous eight legged monsters to try to find the one man, famed insect and critter wrangler Stanton D. Harrison (played by Harry Dean Stanton), who can proved insight to the living nightmare.

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EarBear, you get all my likes, for all eternity. Please PM me your address so I can send you a breakfast burrito.

 

So I was looking at Cute Overload with the missus last night and there was this:

 

zkEI6vE.jpg

 

And she thought it was funny but didn't get the reference. I explained that there is a movie called Sharknado and it's an actual thing; we watched the trailer and then she immediately called her Dad and very excitedly tried to explain it to him.

 

...

 

Clarknado -- Supermen (Supermans?)

Marky Marknado -- self-explanatory

Trailer Parknado -- I'm pretty sure this is an actual reality show on TLC

Snarknado -- this is all Gawker commenters

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That whole bit about falling right into a sharks mouth reminded me of this:

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how about POOL SHARKNADO and a bunch of Paul Newman's and Tom Cruise's get dropped on a women's shelter and they fight over who can be their father figure. It would be GROSS.

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HAhahahahaha!!! Epic episode!!! Loved It!!! OMG so much win!!!

 

http://www.mtv.com/v...lood-oath.jhtml I think Scott Aukerman and Paul Rust couldn't decide what to eat so they made a Blood Oath just like the Human Giant skit... ;)

 

And also I made this...

 

chompa.png

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Squirrelpool: Killer squirrels in a Whirlpool that attacks a WW2 submarine.

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I spent the first 20 minutes of this movie thinking Tara Reid had had so much plastic surgery I could no longer recognize her.

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Also, in regards to Mockbusters: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mockbuster

 

Often, but not always, a mockbuster will use a title with a similar-sounding name to the mainstream feature it intends to piggy-back upon. For instance, the 2006 mockbuster Snakes on a Train, written by Eric Forsberg,[8] traded on the publicity surrounding the theatrically released Snakes on a Plane.[9] The Asylum created Snakes on a Train, The Land That Time Forgot, Transmorphers, AVH: Alien vs. Hunter, The Da Vinci Treasure, Battle of Los Angeles, Paranormal entity and many other titles.

 

Crazy to think that an "of" is all that stands between Asylum and a Columbia Pictures lawsuit. It must be sad to be an inspiring actor/actress and a cadre of mockbuster movies is all you can get. As long as it pays, I suppose.

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