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This movie is incredible.

 

An underdog sports movie, somehow built around a dream team of the best dancers in America. That's right, a national search for our best breakdancers is part of this little-engine-that-could story about Americans trying to reclaim the world breakdancing competition after 15 years of losing to France and South Korea.

 

This is a movie that opens with a businessman addressing his boardroom with the lines "I was at a concert this past weekend and I heard some high school kids saying that B-boying is no longer cool. That scared me."

 

A movie featuring Sawyer from LOST as an alcoholic former B-boy channeling Coach Taylor.

 

A movie in which there's about 20 seconds of reaction after a breakdancer admits he's Jewish.

 

A movie with about a dozen incredible real-life B-boys - and Chris Brown doing cartwheels.

 

The A.V. Club gave it a rare "F" in this spot-on review that details some of the obscene product placement (mostly for the director's previous film): www.avclub.com/articles/battle-of-the-year,103121

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The most entertainment I got out of this film was from the seniors that come to my theater that buy tickets based on the title alone for anything that sounds like it might be a war movie. Not quite what was expected...

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What was funny to me was that the trailer made it seem like Sawyer was a washed up soccer player/coach and if I remember the line correctly he was sold on coaching this team with the line "you played/coached soccer, so you can teach these guys to work as a dance crew" when there is NO FUCKING CORRELATION TO THE TWO ACTIVITIES AT ALL!

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What was funny to me was that the trailer made it seem like Sawyer was a washed up soccer player/coach and if I remember the line correctly he was sold on coaching this team with the line "you played/coached soccer, so you can teach these guys to work as a dance crew" when there is NO FUCKING CORRELATION TO THE TWO ACTIVITIES AT ALL!

If it wasn't played straight, that would make COMPLETE movie sense, and this rag-tag group would win the competition with their bizarre hip-hop/soccer hybrid dancing that would win over the hearts and minds of the judges for no other reason than that's what happens in every movie just like it, because all teams are the same! You coached a soccer team? You can coach a dance team! You ran a black ops team to assassinate the dictator of some third world country? You can coach the SHIT out of a dance team! A leader's a leader!

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I watched this movie by accident, and I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck I have just seen.

 

Here's the trailer to help you figure it out.

 

I've got a basic outline:

 

A drunken basketball coach is apparently qualified enough to coach a team of breakdancers, but they don't like each other, until they do when they go to the World Championship and Chris Brown can't act.

 

Also, marvel at the amazing shoe-horning of the director's own documentary into the movie, it was so badly done, they might as well have looked into the camera for some tongue-in-cheek plugging.

 

Battle of the Year got 6% on Rotten Tomatoes. To put that into perspective, the nominees Razzie Awards for Worst Film in 2013 got the following:

Movie 43 - 4% (Winner)

Grown Ups 2 - 7%

After Earth - 11%

The Lone Ranger - 30%

A Madea Christmas - 19%

 

It's definitely worth a look.

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I tried to watch this movie once, well tried once... was really painful.

I would rather have a colonoscopy then watch this movie again because a colonoscopy, you get good pain killers.

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I thought there was already a thread for this one when the initial trailer came out. They actually showed this at the prison I work at because, these guys have to pay for their crimes. I watched about two minutes of it before my mind could not take anymore shittyness.

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I thought there was already a thread for this one when the initial trailer came out. They actually showed this at the prison I work at because, these guys have to pay for their crimes. I watched about two minutes of it before my mind could not take anymore shittyness.

 

is that this prison, Ryan Sz ?

You walked into that one.

 

watch-this-revealing-documentary-on-the-making-of-stanley-kubricks-a-clockwork-orange.jpg

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Thankfully no, but every week the guy who manages the TV access for inmates changes the two movies shown. This week was Secret Life of Walter Mitty which is batshit insane at points and the new Jack Ryan which was horrible.

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Planet B-Boy is actually a pretty great doc in my opinion, this shit movie, much like Lords of Dogtown, shows that trying to make a dramatized film out of a rad documentary is always a shitty idea.

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Must turd: when it comes to break dancing you have to go back to the grand master..

 

 

Grand Master V Y'all

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