Jump to content


Episode 78.5 — Minisode 78.5


14 replies to this topic

#1 July Diaz

    Earwolf Buddy

  • Administrators
  • 1,429 posts
  • LocationUnder a roof

Posted 23 December 2013 - 11:20 PM

What can you expect from next week’s Christmas movie? Expect Matthew Broderick and Danny DeVito competing for the best holiday decorations that can be seen from space. Paul goes through some Corrections & Omissions for last week’s movie Crossroads, salutes all the people who have been traveling for the holidays by reading your tales of woe, and shares his dream cast for a buddy cop film all from a crawl space at his parent’s house. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

#2 Joe Lerini

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 340 posts
  • LocationPittsburgh, PA

Posted 24 December 2013 - 01:52 AM

Paul mixed up Clarissa Explains It All and Sabrina, The Teenage Witch! That pisses me off!

*shakes fist angrily*

#3 MrWompler

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 145 posts
  • LocationIn a shed in Castaic

Posted 24 December 2013 - 09:37 AM

Paul, if you're reading this
  • I am a him, not a her. I thought Mister Wompler would be a good hint, but all is forgiven.
  • I know you were joking, but I would love to be a guest and can be reached on twitter in the .000001% chance you weren't kidding.

tumble over here || tweet over there

#4 AlamoBasement

    cap n' crunch

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 377 posts
  • Locationnew jersey

Posted 24 December 2013 - 01:03 PM

is it weird that paul in cramped spaces gets me hot and bothered? it must be the lurking threat of danger or the twist of the unknown.. excited for the new ep!

#5 iamnotlanuk

    Newbie

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 2 posts

Posted 25 December 2013 - 06:11 AM

Second place and my username mispronounced in a minisode of HDTGM? Great Christmas gift.

#6 e1kabong

    Newbie

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 1 posts

Posted 25 December 2013 - 06:40 PM

Isn't a basement crawlspace arguably the best place to kill someone?

#7 DeathToMikeyBay

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 159 posts

Posted 25 December 2013 - 07:41 PM

Man, what happened to Matthew Broderick? I'm trying to remember his last remotely decent movie.

Election?

#8 Bib Fortuna

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 32 posts

Posted 25 December 2013 - 10:58 PM

I feel like I just won the internet.

Quote

Paul: ...Bib Fortuna -- I love that reference -- really brought it home this week...Number one winner of the week, Bib Fortuna, for all that math!


I knew getting that college education would pay off one day.

#9 Kickpuncher

    Sentient Meat

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,578 posts
  • LocationIthaca, NY

Posted 26 December 2013 - 05:46 AM

View PostDeathToMikeyBay, on 25 December 2013 - 07:41 PM, said:

Man, what happened to Matthew Broderick? I'm trying to remember his last remotely decent movie.

Election?


Just looked at his IMDB. Among large roles, that's about right. Off the top of my head, I would have said he's been really inactive during that time, but he's actually been steadily churning out a mix of flops, small roles, and completely forgettable movies. I guess he's always got that Sex and the City money to fall back on.

#10 Shannon

    Moderator

  • Administrators
  • 937 posts
  • LocationAustin

Posted 26 December 2013 - 07:31 AM

Attention people who like to click buttons and vote on things: to get in the end of 2013 spirit, the new FYI Poll for the next week or so is "the best of 2013", a list of the most voted for movies from this year. Let's see which one is really the best

#11 DeathToMikeyBay

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 159 posts

Posted 26 December 2013 - 11:30 PM

Paul, would you describe the farting, sex novel writing man next to you on the plane as someone who would hang out in cigar shops?


Deck the Halls trailer...my god. It just ran the entire gambit of obnoxious trailer soundtracks. Any one of them should be a huge red flag:

-Calm music--->record scratch (my monocle has popped out!)
-The Nutcracker Suite (zany antics!)
-Generic "badass" electric guitar (this means war!)
-"Hip" beats (we know how to get down with the kids)
-Music get unplugged (alternate version of record scratch)
-Nutcracker Suite...again
-Characters screaming drowning out everything else
-"Hip" remix of classic song


Pitch meeting for this movie:

INT. CIGAR SHOP - DAY

A grizzled bear of a man chomps down on a bitchin Cuban stogie.

SMOKER

Ok, so it's National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, but it's only the parts

about the lights and yuppie neighbors! Oh yeah, and none of the jokes

either. Fuckin' A!



#12 Quasar Sniffer

    Elitist Prick

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 485 posts

Posted 27 December 2013 - 01:21 AM

Actually line of dialogue from Deck the Halls: "Come on, it's the stupidiest think I've ever heard. You want our lights to be seen from space? It's certifiable." Sure, the same character says, "all good ideas are crazy" in the very next sentence (and then threatens to withold sex if said lights are taken down), but it's like the possibility of this movie being really fucking stupid crossed the filmmakers' minds, then they said, "No, this is great stuff guys!"

#13 Michael Bay of Pigs

    Formerly Bill Russell Crowe

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 383 posts
  • LocationBroward Country, Florida

Posted 28 December 2013 - 02:21 AM

This movie is insane. About an hour into it I figured I had seen enough and didn't need to watch anymore. Did the ending save the movie?
^cool post

#14 DeathToMikeyBay

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 159 posts

Posted 30 December 2013 - 03:20 AM

Dayum. This is their first movie I hadn't seen so I actually went and watched it first.

Fuuuuuck. I can only do it in 5 minute chunks. Right off the bat the scene with him walking down the street greeting everyone with lame gag after lame gag. Only two and a half minutes in and I'm already saying, "Fuck this movie." The way he greets everyone reminded me of HDTGM's 88 Minutes episode with Pacino greeting everyone he sees by name.

Then Broderick gets home and his wife is the only attractive woman from Sex & the City. At exactly the 5 minute mark, he lays out a ton of flat exposition to her that's just summary of the previous 5 minutes (the entire movie up until now).

And that's the first 5 minute chunk check out. Fuck this movie. Merry Christmas.

#15 Joven

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 131 posts

Posted 30 December 2013 - 06:21 PM

View PostDeathToMikeyBay, on 30 December 2013 - 03:20 AM, said:

Then Broderick gets home and his wife is the only attractive woman from Sex & the City. At exactly the 5 minute mark, he lays out a ton of flat exposition to her that's just summary of the previous 5 minutes (the entire movie up until now).


Super ultra flat exposition, I dont think it could be any less expositiony. Its almost written like it was supposed to be a rousing speech, to get deep insight into his emotional commitment to the whole stupid christmas thing...but the person who wrote it never heard of emotions, and Broderick didn't care enough to add any (or was stopped from doing so, troll 2 style). So far my vibe from how this movie is going (also just in the first 5 minutes or so) is that the writer never heard anybody have a conversation with another living person before making this movie.