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JulyDiaz

Episode 84 — No Holds Barred: LIVE!

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CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE mention how Peter Dinklage (aka Tyrion Lannister from GoT) is the little-person in the cage?

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CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE mention how Peter Dinklage (aka Tyrion Lannister from GoT) is the little-person in the cage?

That's not him. I thought it was him at first, but I could tell it was somebody else the 2nd time they showed him.

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You know, I'm a gay man who's attracted to many unconventional looking men, but that just...no.

 

I loved Paul's question to June "As someone who's approximately Hulk's age..." and her deeply offended "Excuse me!?!"

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Can I just say that I hope Paul and June post a picture of the Jason "Give Me Your Baby" onesie?

scroll through the pics on the episode page and you'll see it!

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scroll through the pics on the episode page and you'll see it!

 

That is simultaneously as awesome and as horrifying as I expected.

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Tap pants: I'm pretty sure Joan is wearing tap pants in that scene. That's tap as in dancing, not tap as in that, if you're wondering where that name comes from. Depending on the outfit, she could be wearing them as shorts, underwear or PJs.

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They really should have got Tiny Lister in to talk about his character motivation (as probably suggested to him by Vince) and what Hogan was like around the set as I'm sure he was really throwing his weight around since he was the star of the movie.

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But would Earwolf have a PA around to make a run for the border as soon as he demanded it?

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The only reason I wish this wasn't a live episode is so that they could have a good 3+ hours to talk about this film. I loved that they had to take a stop for every 5 seconds they advanced in the plot to talk about 600 crazy shit that happened in that time.

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Hey, brother!

Two quick omissions then I'll get out of your doll hair,

1. Zeus has three lines, the one you missed is after Rip and Joan make out, Zeus comes on tv and says his 2nd line in the movie "RIP. I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE" which is at least enough to make Rip consider fighting him. Very weird.

2. Also, at the end, there isn't even a kiss between Joan and Rip! She was held captive, was the only reason he was being forced to throw the fight, and he doesn't even run to her at the end. It's not even seeing Joan free that gives Rip the extra oomph to defeat Zeus, it's his brother's crying face. This movie is practically a love story between Rip and his brother, brother!

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Wasn't the ending of this sort of similar to Kickboxer, in a sense that JCVD's brother was paralyzed by the main bad guy too and his girlfriend was beaten as well and he was also blackmailed to lose but then when he saw all his friends safe he ultimately won?

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Tom Lennon rules but it is strange to hear him tear into a shitty movie when I know what screenplays he has had a hand in writing.

 

Whatever pays the bills though, I guess!

 

 

Also, if we're going into the minefield that is wrestling-themed movies I'd love to hear the gang's opinion on Ready to Rumble. I feel like Jason's head would explode if he watched it.

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I think Paul has hit on something with the WWF/No Holds Barred shared universe. I'd like to add another part to the theory:

 

As previously mentioned, Lister wrestled in the WWF as "Zeus" and one of his matches was indeed again Hulk Hogan. Was Zeus trying to get revenge against Rip but took it out on Hogan, thinking he was actually Rip. Or was Zeus, so angered by the defeat by Rip, wanted to go after the next biggest star, in this case, Hulk Hogan?!

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I think Paul has hit on something with the WWF/No Holds Barred shared universe. I'd like to add another part to the theory:

 

As previously mentioned, Lister wrestled in the WWF as "Zeus" and one of his matches was indeed again Hulk Hogan. Was Zeus trying to get revenge against Rip but took it out on Hogan, thinking he was actually Rip. Or was Zeus, so angered by the defeat by Rip, wanted to go after the next biggest star, in this case, Hulk Hogan?!

Now, I don't have any source for this, but from what I remember, WWF story-lines included the fact that Hulk Hogan played Rip, whereas Zeus played himself. After No Holds Barred came out, Zeus came to WWF to get revenge on Hogan, because he thought the movie made him look bad.

 

Or something like that.

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Tom Lennon rules but it is strange to hear him tear into a shitty movie when I know what screenplays he has had a hand in writing.

 

Whatever pays the bills though,

 

Claws in, cat!

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ohhh boy Paul and June are in for a great time with this baby if they have no idea how someone can get "dooky" all the way up to their shoulder blades.

 

diaper explosions are not a joke.

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Am I right that at the first Battle of the Tough Guys event the announcer specifically said that the ring had eight sides? Did No Holds Barred invent the UFC Octagon?

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I almost don't want to suggest this as possible answer to the water everywhere dooky situation....... broken colostomy bag on the driver. Maybe the most minor Hulk movement is upsetting the driver's extremely weakened digestion system and causing the crazy erratic driving? Also, the colostomy bag is possibly an even meaner Jock joke from writing team of Vince & Hulkster.

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Wow. This is definitely an instant classic ep. Might even be up there with Over The Top, my personal fave. Three things I was hoping would get pointed out:

 

1. Kurt Fuller testing the chair out before his first meeting with Hulkster and saying something about, "how that big lug doesn't break it."

 

2. My favorite moment was when Jacob From Lost And Dexter screams during the final fight, "Come on Rip, Tryyyyyy!!!" What a dick move coming from someone who was coached back to health by a guy who should have been training and the best thing he can yell is "Tryyyy"?!

 

3. Zeus was working out to a tape of Kurt Fuller telling him what the Hulkster was saying about him. Fuller's dedication as a do it all psychopath network executive knows no bounds.

 

Also...I loved Tom Lennon's commitment to always referring to Hulk Hogan as Hulkster. Great ep.

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Random notes from this :

 

 

- WWF ran red carpet promos for this on their syndicated shows. If I'm not mistaken, like Zeus, they had Fuller stay in character as Mr. Brell. He of course, had bad guy comments about how the movie portrayed him poorly... nevermind the fact he dies in the movie.

 

- As mentioned at the show, Tiny Lister showed up as Zeus in WWF and teamed Randy Savage against Hulk Hogan in a cage match to promote the debut of the movie on PPV, advertised as the Match! The Movie! It led to this "classic" promo with the late Sherri Martel and Macho Man and Zeus. Pay special attention to the stealthy Sherri after she climbs the cage.

 

- The song that plays in the Rip pie fight is "All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight" by Hank Williams Jr. This is also the song that got reworked in the Monday Night Football theme before Williams got in hot water by making comments about Obama.

- Lugwrench was played by Jeep Swenson, who was a wrestler and played Bane in the equally crappy Batman and Robin. Also of note, both Tiny Lister and Jeep Swenson returned to wrestling in 1996 as part of a team at WCW Uncensored '96. Because this was not a WWF even, Zeus was renamed "Z-Gangsta" and Swenson was The Ultimate Solution, renamed from the Final Solution after someone figured out it probably wasn't a good idea to name someone after the program Hitler planned to kill off the Jews with.

 

*Edit* I apologize if the video link isn't working, but if it doesn't come up Google Randy Savage Zeus cage promo. It is well worth the minute and change it is to see this. I'm sure it's 90% of the reason Zeus became the president of earth in the future.

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Tom Lennon rules but it is strange to hear him tear into a shitty movie when I know what screenplays he has had a hand in writing.

 

Whatever pays the bills though, I guess!

 

 

Also, if we're going into the minefield that is wrestling-themed movies I'd love to hear the gang's opinion on Ready to Rumble. I feel like Jason's head would explode if he watched it.

Hey, he co-wrote a whole BOOK about paying the bills!

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- WWF ran red carpet promos for this on their syndicated shows. If I'm not mistaken, like Zeus, they had Fuller stay in character as Mr. Brell. He of course, had bad guy comments about how the movie portrayed him poorly... nevermind the fact he dies in the movie.

 

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about, and I remember seeing them air on Prime Time Wrestling (the Monday night wrestling show on USA that was eventually replaced by Raw), but I couldn't find them on YouTube or anything :( Maybe they'll pop up on the upcoming "No Holds Barred" Blu-Ray! Anyway, I recall Savage's beef being that HE was a bigger star and should have been the star of the movie, so that's why he was still in the picture too. Poor guy had to do the heavy lifting for that entire Hogan/Beefcake vs. Savage/Zeus feud that ran through the second half of '89.

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