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JulyDiaz

Episode 96 — Monkey Shines

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A murderous monkey, a classic 80‘s sex scene, animal monologues, and the Tucc. Monkey Shines has it all! In a special Halloween episode, Paul, June, and Jason discuss the monkey cam, mom sponge baths, whether Alan was running to school with bricks in his backpack in the beginning, and what exactly “monkey shines” means. Plus, everyone tries to figure out where the allegedly cut brain surgery scene fits in the final cut of the movie.

 

Los Angeles: Get your tickets now for a LIVE HDTGM at Largo on Friday, December 5th at 8pm over at www.largo-la.com!

 

 

Pick up your copy of Deadpool Bi-Annual #1 written by Paul & Nick Giovannetti at www.amazon.com or wherever comic books are sold!

 

 

Make sure to tune into the brand new season of The League on Wednesday nights at 10pm over on FXX and check out The Hotwives of Orlando now over at www.hulu.com!

 

Also, check out Jason Mantzoukas in “They Came Together” on VOD, June Diane Raphael & Casey Wilson in ASS BACKWARDS for free on Netflix & HULU & Paul in OJ: The Musical available on VOD & iTunes! Don’t forget to grab yourself a brand new HDTGM Daredevil T-shirt over at the Earwolf store and a copy of Paul’s comic book Aliens Vs. Parker now available at www.amazon.com!

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As I mentioned in the mini-ep thread, I interviewed director George Romero a few years ago for a blog. He didn't seem overly impressed with his own work on Monkey Shines:

 

Q: Are audiences tougher to scare these days?

A: I haven’t tried to scare anybody since (Night of the Living Dead). To me, since then, all my films have been like comic books. I haven’t tried to get under your skin at all...

 

Q: That’s interesting. I remember being particularly scared by a film of yours, when I was young, called Monkey Shines.

A: Monkey Shines? How young were you?

 

Q: About eight years old.

A: OK, that might do it then. I guess it had a few scares in it. If you’re at an age where the concept is frightening to you, it works on that level. With that film, I thought it was more a Jeckyll and Hyde story. Maybe I’m too jaded.

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You guys are having so much fun, I have to say thank you, this is amazing! Now then, isn't the evil nurse George Romero's wife and didn't she portray an equally evil nurse in Two Evil Eyes?

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Holy shit I don't know what to make of the last 20 minutes of this episode. June has really been speaking her mind over the last few episodes....

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This is a great episode, and GODDAMN that last half hour was off the charts awesome!

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This is a great episode, and GODDAMN that last half hour was off the charts awesome!

 

I'm still crying from that argument. When June started raising her voice, I lost it.

 

I really want to know if her anti-animal name stance is just limited to monkeys. Should people not name their dogs and cats either? Is this dangerous?

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i just finished this movie and yelled "what the fuck is happening!" this is the craziest movie ever. between a monkey and man make out, quadriplegic sex and a man ripping a monkeys throat out, i didnt know what i was watching........... for sure the most fucking crazy movie ive ever seen

 

 

 

still cant believe who made this!

 

 

 

ROMERO

king of dead made this monkey shit and i couldnt not enjoy it more......

 

 

thank you HDTGM crew for always bring golden shit to light.

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Once again,fantastic episode!

 

What bugged me, and I know this can be said about many movies, is that there is not a scene where Allan and Melanie have to explain what happened to the police. I mean, four people are dead! They are going to have to report it, right? Are we supposed to believe that the cops are just going to buy it with no questions asked? So, for those interested, I took the liberty of re-writing the ending to Monkey Shines.

 

INT. ALLAN’S LIVING ROOM- NIGHT

 

The muffled rumble of the passing thunderstorm can be heard from outside. Red and blue lights strobe through the open front door as the covered bodies of ALLAN’S MOTHER and GEOFFREY are being wheeled out.

 

Somewhere, a DOG howls..?

 

From his vantage, ALLAN can see MELANIE in the kitchen, a blanket wrapped over her shoulders as the EMT’S examine her head. Nervously, she makes a SUBTLE motion to her lips. ALLAN cocks his eyebrow in confusion. She makes the motion again and he nods in understanding. With his tongue he licks the MONKEY BLOOD and VISCERA from his lips.

 

Scratching his head, DETECTIVE PHIL COLLINS walks over to ALLAN, yellow steno pad in hand.

DETECTIVE COLLINS:

Okay, let’s go over this again MR. MANN…

(Chuckles at the name)

We have four dead bodies. First we have your ex-girlfriend, who did you dirty with your doctor, our second victim; the same doctor whose misdiagnoses you blame for your recent paralysis. Then we have your mother, by all accounts a wealthy woman who recently sold her business, which makes you—as her only son—the sole beneficiary of her estate. And finally, your best friend, but as the college has no records of the experiments he was performing, makes him the only person who could corroborate what you are saying. Which is again?

ALLAN:

(sighs)

The Monkey did it.

DETECTIVE COLLINS:

Riiiiight.

(He looks at the tiny chalk outline of where Ella’s body was recovered.)

We also have testimony from a NURSE MARYANNE that claims you threatened her pet bird, saying, and I quote: “It deserves to fucking die.” And when she awoke the next morning, she did in fact find her pet dead, tucked away in her slipper.

ALLAN:

(Nodding)

This is also a fact. Look, I promise you…

(Mumbles lamely)

Telepathy…monkey…

DETECTIVE COLLINS:

Save it MANN! You’re gonna be going away for a long time.

(He gestures toward MELANIE having her superficial wounds looked at)

You two sickos thought you’d get away with it, didn’t you? You two with your…your MONKEY SHINES!

DETECTIVE COLLINS looks directly to CAMERA and WINKS. FREEZE FRAME. PHIL COLLINS’ “TWO HEARTS” plays over credits. ROMEREO waits for Academy Award.

 

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Loved how much this episode was like last years halloween 3!

 

from fuck guests to teasing/grossing out june. The second opinions songs were even mentioned.

 

Awesome episode, just wish we could get 1 more halloween episode, even if it is November :)

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Excellent episode! The horror film episodes are definitely my favorites. Please do more. This one was "off the chain!"

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I just assumed the connection Alan and Ella had was like the one Danny Torance had with Dick Hollaran in The Shining (hence the name Monkey Shines..) In that book, the two shared a telepathathic connection; but, that was where the similarity stopped. Dick didn't start taking on traits of Danny and visa versa, whereas in this fucking film, a monkey starts fulfilling her master's blood-rage and he grows monkey teeth.

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Omission: I think there was a missing scene in which Geoff's assistant, Eyegore, admits that the brain cells they are injecting into the monkey came from a girl named, "Abby Normal."

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Genius reconstruction of the director's cut! One small thing:

 

The first sign that Ella has near-human intelligence was during the phone thing that Jason touched on -- not just that she knew the numbers, but she knew who the people were that the numbers were assigned to, which they learn because she won't call John Pankow until he leaves the room. Of course, she's not smart enough to know that him leaving the room doesn't mean he's not home....

 

There could be a drinking game for each time somebody just ignores Allan. Two shots when it's him making a perfectly reasonable request that is ethically wrong to ignore when a quadrifuckingplegic asks it of you.

 

That Second Opinion song was my favorite so far!

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Glad they zoned in on the best line of the movie and the name of my new band

 

the kLinikal kUntz

 

I was also happy to hear that Romero was on a bottle a day with this film because that explains a lot, I think, about the disjointed nature of this "film". There is probably a decent horror/thriller story there but it is all very half-baked and muddied-up here. I think the "hostitude" did a great job of trying to tease out all the weird relationships and character motivations. I think it came out, but I just thought that his character was a rich-boy law student at a school like USC and chose to live in the 'hood - he was renting that house by himself, no?

 

Only thing better than this show are its fans! :wub: :wub: :wub:

 

I had to make this, you guys. I HAD to.

vO2JoVpl.png

 

Big version can be found here.

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Something I had a real problem with, and was not touched on too much in this episode, was Stephan Root's character.

 

First of all, I don't know if it is explicitly stated in the movie, but I was under the impression that he and Geoffrey worked for a college and not an R&D department for a company or something. So, when Root is telling him that people are demanding "results" from Geoffrey it kind of boggled my mind. Who is demanding results? The Alumni Association? Is this some school where Science department is the equivalent to a college football team that people root for? Boola-boola, I guess.

 

Also, and I mentioned it in the Mini-Episode for this, but Geoffrey, in that same scene, tells Root that the brain cells are from some random girl. I sincerely thought that it was going to be uncovered at some point that the girl in question was some mentally unstable stalker or something. Of course, the science on this is still suspect as I think injecting brain matter into a living creature's butt is more likely to result in either nothing or death, but in movie terms, I would have bought it. Ella, at first, does act as a caring girlfriend: dims the lights, cuddles with him, plays romantic music. For Christ's sake, when Melanie is out of the picture, she prepares what looks to be a candlelight dinner!!! You know, the kind of things a human woman might do for her boyfriend/crush/stalk-ee.

 

And finally, Paul's reading of the alternate ending makes a lot more sense in regard to Root's motivations. They didn't bring it up in the episode, but Root steals Pankow's serum. As it stands in the movie, that whole subplot gets more or less dropped. I understand the need to put pressure on Geoffrey to make him perform some questionable experiments, but I think you could have cut Root's character from the film entirely and established this pressure in just a line of dialog.

 

But what do I know? I don't have access to the mountains of cocaine I assume was required to make this piece of shit.

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I had to make this, you guys. I HAD to.

vO2JoVpl.png

 

Big version can be found here.

 

The best tangent ever on this show. "It's not that they're 'goddamn monkeys.' They're just monkeys." I feel for June on this one. That kind of thing can be frustrating, but she seemed to keep her cool. I wonder if it was an icy drive home for Paul & June, though.

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So many things!

 

My favorite thing I saw was at the welcome home party in the beginning. Maggie from Northern Exposure goes into the bathroom to freshen up and there is a framed drawing of a butt hanging on the wall. Not somebody drawn from behind...just a disembodied butt. I'll post a screenshot when I get home from work.

 

Second, on the subject of Maggie, here's something crazy. She never visited him in the hospital! He was there for months presumably!

 

There was also a part where someone was just eating a huge piece of bread, but I can't remember who.

 

And a parting thought. What if this movie was framed as a supervillain origin story? Then it might be a little more interesting.

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