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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 106 — Deep Blue Sea: LIVE!

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And WOOOOOOOO NYC show, finally!! Time to formally start my campaign to get Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer as the guests.

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This reminds me: Paul needs to bring back the same guests to do an episode on the second Renny Harlin-LL Cool J team up, Mindhunters.

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They didn't mention it, but there's a scene where Michael Rappaport's character with some other crew memebers are searching through Dr McCallaster's cabin for supplies and Michael Rappaport character says something to the affect of "She seems like a healthy gal, I'm sure she has something the runs on batteries." implying she keeps a martial aid in her room.

 

I would have loved it if there was a call back to that and a vibrator floats past the camera at some crucial point in time with they needed batteries.

 

Checkov's Dildo

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I second bohren's post!!!

 

Also Loved when Jason called P.F.T. and Paul June lol... And the epic "After Earth" episode callback!

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This episode and the View To A Kill ep solidify my desperate wish for a live episode with the entire Superego group

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2ykbcys.jpg

 

have you seen this woman please call the police or earwolf productions right away..

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Two things that I'm bummed were omitted from this stellar (Ha!) episode:

1) If Samuel L. Jackson is the big fatcat everyone has to impress to continue to receive funding...why does everyone treat him like garbage? Everyone he meets at the lab is basically like "Fuck you, boss man!" Shouldn't they be kissing his ass a little?

2) Something that has always bugged me about Deep Blue Sea is how did the shark escape in the beginning? Seriously. Carter asked Scoggins about the height of the fences ("Eight feet give or take a centimeter.") as if to imply the possibility that the sharks jumped over it. But the sharks' whole plan in the end is to sink the facility to jump over the fence so it wasn't that way. Soooo...how did they escape?

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2ykbcys.jpg

 

have you seen this woman please call the police or earwolf productions right away..

I get the feeling we're gonna find out she's missing because she joined the cult Paul almost joined on The Sylvester Stallone Podcast.

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When you're done with NUNDERCOVER, we need a SHARXORCIST screenplay.

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When the shark attacks Dr. Jim and everything goes apeshit, Carter runs to a glass case which he breaks with his bare elbow (ouch) and pulls out a gun to kill the shark. Burrows, shouts “No!” and frees the shark. Okay, so this raises a couple of questions:

 

First of all, they have already proven the drug works and they still have some of the sample. Can they not just synthesize more from the sample they already have? If not, why can’t they just get more goop from the dead shark’s brain? Also, they have two additional sharks, so even if they need more of the miracle drug, they have options. Is putting down one frenzied shark really that big of a deal?

 

Secondly, and perhaps an answer to my first question, maybe the drug can’t be synthesized and only works if taken from a live specimen. If this is the case, and given that a giganto-shark only provided a syringe full of this cure at a time, even if the drug is successful the price tag on it would be so astronomical no one but the super rich would be able to afford it. Thousands of people have Alzheimer’s and in order to cure them they have to have to maintain this huge, multi-million dollar aquatic facility set up solely for the creation and maintenance of these demon sharks. The cost rises even higher when you consider they would have to eventually make more sharks to meet demand. The most likely outcome would be Sam Jackson telling her, “Well, I respect what you’re doing here, but I’m a business man and I don’t really see how I can make a return on my investment. I’m really sorry, but I’ve still got to shut you down.”

 

But then again, perhaps all of this is moot because even she gets her drug approved, wouldn’t she have to admit that she broke the Harvard Compact in order to mass produce it? Wouldn’t that negate any findings? Would the powers-that-be let the legalities of it slide and go ahead and approve the drug anyway?

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I get the feeling we're gonna find out she's missing because she joined the cult Paul almost joined on The Sylvester Stallone Podcast.

 

 

I am going to go and search canada safeways for her. you guys spread out and look in target and walmart.

I got a good feeling shes not far from us. But we need to start searching the stores.

 

We love you, June. we are going to find you and bring you home safely.

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were these sharks born with engineering degrees? i mean even if they had brains the size of bowling balls they would still have to learn stuff first before being able to create the plan they came up with in this. they seem to have knowledge in structural engineering, fluid mechanics etc that humans have to spend years learning ...

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Okay, this wasn't really brought up, but aside from obviously having some wicked smaht sharks on the loose (which already happens anyway, and on a regular enough basis it seems), what really are the stakes anyway? I mean, maybe it would have been best for the survivors to just LET the sharks go, or at least stay out of their way while they try to get out, wait to be saved or whatever once the sharks are gone, let some professionals handle it later, and then spend the rest of their lives NOT going in the ocean. There are really no big picture repercussions world-ending repercussions here.

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were these sharks born with engineering degrees? i mean even if they had brains the size of bowling balls they would still have to learn stuff first before being able to create the plan they came up with in this. they seem to have knowledge in structural engineering, fluid mechanics etc that humans have to spend years learning ...

But man, that fuckin' eight-foot fence...

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if standing on the wetsuit was supposed to stop her from getting electrocuted then the saffron burrows stripping scene would have made more sense if she wasnt already wearing rubber shoes and standing on what looks like a wooden table top that was at least a 2 or 3 inches out of the water ...

 

2uxyzro.jpg

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2) Something that has always bugged me about Deep Blue Sea is how did the shark escape in the beginning? Seriously. Carter asked Scoggins about the height of the fences ("Eight feet give or take a centimeter.") as if to imply the possibility that the sharks jumped over it. But the sharks' whole plan in the end is to sink the facility to jump over the fence so it wasn't that way. Soooo...how did they escape?

 

Good point, but here's my question, how was Carter able to track a single, evidently untagged shark in the open ocean? We know the sharks are untagged due to a line regarding the storm reducing visibility and that when the sharks take out the cameras no one says, "No problem, I can still track them on this screen..." They just sort of collectively shit their pants.

 

Also, based on a line from Scoggins, we are told that sharks can swim at an average speed of 50 ft per second which, despite assertions of his "trustworthiness," is patently untrue. Bursts of speed, maybe, but not average speed. But, let's take Scoggins at his word and say the average speed for this specific breed of unholy sharks is 50 feet per second. And let us further assume that since the sharks are solely tracked visually, by the time the team discovers a shark is missing and they are able to mobilize a search party, an hour has passed. Not taking into account the three dimensional space that is the fucking ocean, that means they would have a potential search area of 3,653 sq miles! To put this in perspective, this is about 1,200 sq miles larger than the state of Deleware.

 

Is Carter magic or did the shark leave a swath of dismembered frat boys in its wake? Was the good ship Douche Bro at the beginning of the movie only the next stop on the shark’s grisly tapas crawl?

 

And since I'm not really a math guy I will go ahead and show my work, feel free to let me know if I'm wrong:

 

50ft x 60secs= 3,000ft,

3,000ft x 60 mins=180,000ft

180,000ft /5280 ft per mile =34.1 miles

A=πr2

3,653 sq miles= 3.14 (34.1)2

 

(On a related note, I may have just out nerded the Internet)

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wow sad to know June and Paul obviously got a secret divorce :-C

 

 

 

EDIT: However, "ding dong, who's there? SHARKS"

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I think the "But give him/her just a nibble, even though they want the whole steak" part from the last 5-Star Amazon Review Paul read is sort of like a weird commentary on the scene where Stellar Skateboard gets his arm bitten off... I keep hearing Buffalo Bill from "The Silence of the Lambs" when I read it, in the same tone as the "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again" quote.

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I had to look up those "Deepest Bluest" lyrics. A couple of my favorite lines: "I ate your ancestors, the ocean is haunted" and "your life vest is off, and that turns me on"

 

...Man, I prematurely commented. Didn't realize they were going to play that whole song at the end, and then discuss ocean ghosts afterwards :D

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