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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 108 — Con Air LIVE!

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The whole opening could be modified to make sense if, maybe, Poe was on leave from the Army in a Big City like New York and met his wife there for a few day's respite from his Terrorist-Killing Activities in the Rangers. Then he and his wife could have had all sorts of unprotected sex all day and all night, doing away with the illogical time-frame of the pregnancy. And maybe they go to some dive bar (should have gone to the Rhinestone to see Dolly Parton) and their southern accents rub some New Yorkers the wrong way (let's face it, in this movie, they would be black people and gays), and that's why they harass Poe in the first place. Then, after killing at least one of his assailants, Poe is subject to the laws of the state of New York (not Real American anyway), which is why the court would not take into consideration his claims of self-defense.

 

Fuck, I've already spent more effort into making this movie logical then the writers or director did.... which is why it's so damn enjoyable!

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Though this movie isn't as bad about it as Panic Room, this movie doesn't quite understand or portray diabetes correctly. If someone is a diabetic that brings their blood sugar levels up, thats when you need a shot. A diabetic can go days without a shot but their body isn't functioning properly and they can do damage, they won't burst into flame within a couple of hours. Not to mention the tactic for taking your shot is closer to when you eat, so for some reason "Bubba" ate then they cuffed him and put him on the plane?

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As I was listening to this episode this morning, the woman sitting next to me on the bus was so excited when I finally pulled the cord for my stop. Apparently, I appeared to be an "insane-o"??? (For the record, it was when Jason called the landing on the Strip "Las Vegas's 9/11" and then said that New York New York got the worst of it, and I both cackled aloud and slapped my thigh approvingly that she realized she had chosen the wrong seat...)

 

(Also, for those following along, I quit my job, and I found a new job where I hope to enjoy HDTGM whilst I enjoy my work! Hooray!)

 

I've never understood why people think it's weird for people to laugh in public, like only an insane person would express joy amongst strangers. I get this all the time as I'm always listening to podcasts whenever I'm travelling anywhere.

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Can we have a whole episode about movies that June thought were other movies?

 

One thing I was surprised that no one brought up was the fact that pilots are supposed to stay in the cockpit behind a reinforced door. If there's a gun in the cockpit, it should only be used to fight off people who have forced their way into the cabin.

 

Also, the crouch fight has to be one of the silliest things I've ever seen.

 

And finally, what do you think the fan budget was on this movie? There has to be at least one fan in 80% of the scenes.

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I was right with that woman who screamed 'WHAT?' halfway through the episode as I also had no idea what Jason and Paul were talking about.

 

Additionally no one mentioned John Malkovichs epic 'white stuff' insult which is just about the most absurd, random, insane and brutal put-down in cinema history.

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I'm starting to forget parts of this movie, but as I recall, as John Cusack is running around the abandoned airport, wreaking havoc, and wearing what appears to be a suit he stole out of his daddy's closet, why doesn't he ever try to reach out to the approaching calvary? Don't we find out that he has been carrying around a walkie-talkie the entire time? But, for some reason, he doesn't choose to use it until litterally a split second before the propane tanks are exploded. I mean, seriously, Cusack's character is kind of a piece of shit...

 

From within the compound, he could have coordinated with his backup; advised them that the entire airport was only fenced in with rusted-out chicken wire and traveling down the most ambushable road in history might be a mistake; and maybe come up with a plan that doesn't result in the deaths of dozens of police officers and the bad guys getting away. I mean, attack choppers are mere minutes away, guys...let's all work smarter, not harder.

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If I remember correctly Cyrus was launched through the land bridge and crashed into the back of a truck that was driving under the bridge at that time, which then deposited its load, which now included Cyrus, and the rock quarry where he got his head crushed. As for Buscemi not killing the girl, there is an unspoken hierarchy in the criminal landscape concerning what crimes guys have done and their limits, because even though they are criminals most still do have limits. Kid killers, pedophiles, and rapists are at the very bottom of that ladder which leads to many going into protective custody or SNY (Special Need Yard) prisons for protection from other prisoners. So while Buscemi might be willing to wear a woman's head as a hat, he might find it repulsive to kill a kid.

 

One thing I was surprised by was that the hosts never discussed how it was possible for Buscemi to drive through THREE STATES wearing another person's head as a hat. Did he stop for gas because he was driving so much or did he go through three small states like Rhode Island, or did he go through three of the four corner states of Arizona, New Mexico, Utah and Colorado?

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Though this movie isn't as bad about it as Panic Room, this movie doesn't quite understand or portray diabetes correctly. If someone is a diabetic that brings their blood sugar levels up, thats when you need a shot. A diabetic can go days without a shot but their body isn't functioning properly and they can do damage, they won't burst into flame within a couple of hours. Not to mention the tactic for taking your shot is closer to when you eat, so for some reason "Bubba" ate then they cuffed him and put him on the plane?

What they actually portrayed was a low blood sugar episode, which is incredibly dangerous and deadly if not treated. If you see a Type 1 diabetic sweating and getting weak, confused, and panicked, here is a short list of medical treatments that will save their life: fruit juice, a Mr. Pibb, a sandwich you happen to have, some crackers you found in your purse, honey, maple syrup, a tube of cake icing, a couple spoonfuls of jelly, a donut, some Faygo from a Juggalo friend, sugar packets from your coat pocket, a Slushie, a popsicle, a bag of gummi bears... you get the idea

 

What is NOT on that list is insulin. Because giving insulin to a person with dangerously low blood sugar will fucking kill them!

 

I explained more about high blood sugar here http://forum.earwolf...post__p__141866

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So I just skipped ahead to the end to watch the Virus get his; and I think the end is more damn nonsensical than discussed. I sometimes live in Vegas but I first moved about 2006, and I know the place changed a bunch in the ten years the film was made but here's my analysis:

 

The crash itself was stupid because they're coming in from north, pass by the Stratosphere, then clip the Hard Rock guitar which is a good relative two miles not only down but east of the Strip, and then it shows the plane heading on the right path past Circus Circus and the Riviera. Another super-dumb thing about this is that path would mean they were heading through the area of Nellis Air Force Base (and possibly Area 51/'Nevada Test Site'), which I would assume means the AF would scramble some jets or missiles just to make sure the plane is not a threat. And they never did show the plane taking a turn, so how did it go from heading north-south to east-west because the Strip is not a cul de sac ending there.

 

So they get away from the Sands (which is where the Venetian now sits), get on the fire truck and speed through a tunnel, which is where it lost me. See the only straight traffic tunnel I can think of that is longer than a city block is the one where Paradise runs beneath the airport (aka McCarran Airport Connector) or if you really stretch it maybe the part of Desert Inn that runs under the strip, but both of those don't look anything like the tunnel they were in (round and one line of white lights, whereas the other two are boxy and filled with orange sodium lamps), and were both probably built after this movie came out. The pedestrian bridge Cyrus crashes through looks like one downtown (and Freemont is like three miles from that area), but this tunnel somehow looped back around to the Sands*? And as for the equipment, most casinos have basements and Vegas is built on bedrock/hardpan so it might make sense for that stuff to be there; but the big problem with that is 1) that stuff would not be anywhere near the road for noise and drunk tourist concerns and 2) it'd be easier to have trucks ship it off to a crusher plant outside the city than to set it up and then have to move it a few months later.

 

Also I am not a fireman, but after John Cusack punches a hole in the fire truck roof he fills the cab with water, which I thought the trucks had to be stopped to use the water.

 

Man this movie is just as bad as Sharknado.

 

*looks more like the Riviera to me, but the Riv is old and outdated and is going to be torn down soon :(

 

I am so glad y'all mentioned the sewer bunny because the whole time I was watching that last part I kept yelling, "DON'T GIVE HER THE SEWER BUNNY!" Cause let's be real that thing was probably covered in germs after being in a Las Vegas sewer!

 

Eh ... probably not, the things are bone dry for 90% of the year, and actually smell terrible due to the lack of water (like when you don't have water in the U-shaped pipe under your sink). Although they're built to handle flash floods, so that bunny should've fallen like 15 ft into a tiny shaft.

 

This is also interesting- Steve Buscemi's character references the 1977 plane crash that killed multiple members of Lynyrd Skynyrd. The type of plane they were flying in? a CONVAIR CV-300.

 

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

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Really enjoyed this episode.

 

Fun sidenote: When Cyrus makes his "Cy-onara" joke, it's actually an uninteded triple ententre since "onara" (屁) is Japanese for "fart."

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Really enjoyed this episode.

 

Fun sidenote: When Cyrus makes his "Cy-onara" joke, it's actually an uninteded triple ententre since "onara" (屁) is Japanese for "fart."

Haha~ I totally thought of that too!

 

RE: The Skynrd~ Doesn't Sweet Home Alabama play at least twice in the movie? More proof of it's right-wing agenda, I suppose ...

 

oh and BTW dlo burns, by pointing out the logical and spatial inconsistencies of this movie you have inadvertently demonstrated how amazing the film is, in that it exists beyond time and space, in what can only be termed a realm of aesthetic perfection...

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If I remember correctly Cyrus was launched through the land bridge and crashed into the back of a truck that was driving under the bridge at that time, which then deposited its load, which now included Cyrus, and the rock quarry where he got his head crushed. As for Buscemi not killing the girl, there is an unspoken hierarchy in the criminal landscape concerning what crimes guys have done and their limits, because even though they are criminals most still do have limits. Kid killers, pedophiles, and rapists are at the very bottom of that ladder which leads to many going into protective custody or SNY (Special Need Yard) prisons for protection from other prisoners. So while Buscemi might be willing to wear a woman's head as a hat, he might find it repulsive to kill a kid.

 

One thing I was surprised by was that the hosts never discussed how it was possible for Buscemi to drive through THREE STATES wearing another person's head as a hat. Did he stop for gas because he was driving so much or did he go through three small states like Rhode Island, or did he go through three of the four corner states of Arizona, New Mexico, Utah and Colorado?

 

While I agree with you on the ridiculousness and logistics of wearing a head for a hat through three states, I was under the impression this "head hat" was the that of a child. It could be semantics, but he says he wore the head of a "girl," not a "woman." Also, Garland is separated from the rest of gen pop, hence the Hannibal Lector face mask. Given these facts, I think we are 100% supposed to believe that he is capable killing a child. At no point does Greene try to ingratiate himself with the other prisoners, nor would a sociopath care what others think of him/her.

 

What is perplexing though is, after telling Poe he is capable of kids, Poe volunteers the fact that "today is my little girl's birthday." I'm sorry, if I am ever in a situation where I am seated next to a serial killer on a plane, the one topic of conversation I'm definitely not going to bring up is that I have a kid.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQh8pz04jwE

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Is there any reason that all of these criminals would know each other well enough to plot to overtake the plane? Wouldn't they have to have known each other long ago? And if so, why would they all being transported at the same time to the same place?

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While I agree with you on the ridiculousness and logistics of wearing a head for a hat through three states, I was under the impression this "head hat" was the that of a child. It could be semantics, but he says he wore the head of a "girl," not a "woman." Also, Garland is separated from the rest of gen pop, hence the Hannibal Lector face mask. Given these facts, I think we are 100% supposed to believe that he is capable killing a child. At no point does Greene try to ingratiate himself with the other prisoners, nor would a sociopath care what others think of him/her.

 

What is perplexing though is, after telling Poe he is capable of kids, Poe volunteers the fact that "today is my little girl's birthday." I'm sorry, if I am ever in a situation where I am seated next to a serial killer on a plane, the one topic of conversation I'm definitely not going to bring up is that I have a kid.

 

That is still kind of a funny thing because even if Greene wasn't necessarily interacting with other inmates, you could be sure that a couple of them would make a run at him together for his crimes, if they involved a kid, and if not that it would be for the fact of the rep that they would get from being the ones to kill such a famous name. Where I work there are a few pretty famous names and even though the facility is an SNY yard, these inmates are under slightly more protection as there are numerous inmates willing to make a name for themselves by killing them. So with someone like Greene who is alone and unarmed on the plane, guys would make a run at him instead of someone like Cyrus or the Diamond Dog who have weapons and guys protecting them in order to reach a common goal.

 

Is there any reason that all of these criminals would know each other well enough to plot to overtake the plane? Wouldn't they have to have known each other long ago? And if so, why would they all being transported at the same time to the same place?

 

This could easily be done through legal mail. All other mail is opened and scanned by officers in order to prevent as many orders being passed among criminals or illegal deals being made. Yet if a letter is marked legal mail, officers can see that the letter is being addressed to the lawyer on file for an inmate. So if Cyrus was talking with the drug dealer along with his two other main inmates through each others' lawyers the plan could work with the expectation that everyone else on the plane would fall in line or else get off at Carson City. The whole thing about shipping them out at the same time is a matter of cost and convenience. It is cheaper to fly them at the same time in the new high tech plane rather than shipping each of them by bus or car, which could also be hijacked by cohorts of various inmates while it is harder for the same to happen in the air, ideally.

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SO glad this film finally got the HDTGM treatment. And much like Nic Cage prepping for FACE/OFF by making CON AIR, this episode felt like a warm-up for the masterpiece that is John Woo's FACE/OFF. I can't wait for next week's podcast, and I hope for bad Nic Cage films to be covered forever into the future...SEEKING JUSTICE (known as just JUSTICE here in the UK), GONE IN 60 SECONDS, THE FAMILY MAN, CAPTAIN CORELLI'S MANDOLIN and THE WEATHER MAN would be a good start, but VAMPIRE'S KISS would be mind blowing.

 

Obviously he has done great films though...including RUMBLE FISH (Francis Ford Coppola), RAISING ARIZONA (Coen Brothers), WILD AT HEART (David Lynch), BRINGING OUT THE DEAD (Martin Scorsese), ADAPTATION (Spike Jonze), MATCHSTICK MEN (Ridley Scott), BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS (Werner Herzog), and JOE (David Gordon Green). I hope none of those are covered because they're obviously examples of him being a legitimate great actor...

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Really enjoyed this episode.

 

Fun sidenote: When Cyrus makes his "Cy-onara" joke, it's actually an uninteded triple ententre since "onara" (屁) is Japanese for "fart."

 

#Fartgate continues

 

It was so great to have June back! She's the heart of the show. Paul is the mind. And Jason is the genitals.

 

This is one of the best and most accurate comments about HDTGM that I've ever read.

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So Cameron Poe is getting out on parole on the day of his daughter's birthday. The very day the events of the movie take place. Why is he being transported on the prison plane exactly? His wife and daughter seem to be located at or near the origin of the flight. So he's being transported to the new facility just to be released the same day, and then make a return trip to where he started?

 

They are taken on a jet to where John Cusack is. They are approached in the airport by some authority figure and are told "there's a jet waiting..."

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QUESTION: When Cyrus finds out what Nic Cage's character's name is, Ving Rhames says...

 

"Wait, I know that name. You killed 'The Giant'. Wallace Wilson, big bad brother. You put him down on the tiles, bare-handed, so they say."

 

So, that random barroom redneck also had a badass nickname? And why wasn't it ever set up that he was "someone" and not just a drunk asshole? Why does Ving Rhames know who he is? Why is he called "The Giant"? He wasn't even big, not bigger than Nic Cage anyway. And if Ving Rhames is referring to some other person that Cameron Poe killed while he was in prison, why was he released after his original sentence? He would've incurred another sentence for killing someone in prison.

 

By the way, the entire transcript of Con Air can be found here for some reason.

 

Also, Nic Cage is named Poe in this movie and John Cusack went on to play Edgar Allan Poe in "The Raven" another terrible terrible movie.

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Corrections and Omissions:

My favorite line from this movie after the plane takes off with the car towed behind it and Cage quips: "On any other day that might seem strange." Amazing. On board with Jason on this movie!

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QUESTION: When Cyrus finds out what Nic Cage's character's name is, Ving Rhames says...

 

"Wait, I know that name. You killed 'The Giant'. Wallace Wilson, big bad brother. You put him down on the tiles, bare-handed, so they say."

 

So, that random barroom redneck also had a badass nickname? And why wasn't it ever set up that he was "someone" and not just a drunk asshole? Why does Ving Rhames know who he is? Why is he called "The Giant"? He wasn't even big, not bigger than Nic Cage anyway. And if Ving Rhames is referring to some other person that Cameron Poe killed while he was in prison, why was he released after his original sentence? He would've incurred another sentence for killing someone in prison.

 

By the way, the entire transcript of Con Air can be found here for some reason.

 

Also, Nic Cage is named Poe in this movie and John Cusack went on to play Edgar Allan Poe in "The Raven" another terrible terrible movie.

 

It might be a case of mistake identity, sort of like when Billy Bedlam said he was on A block but didn't know Poe, Poe was just creating a story that seemed believable enough. So Poe probably didn't kill anyone in prison, just taking the story of an inmate with a similar name to him as his own to forward his own plans.

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Cage has some great expressions in this film. My two favorites being the one when he steps off the bus in the beginning, and his reaction to the undercover agent being shot (the "Ya blew it" face).

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There are a lot of times where, if I didn't know how much Jason clearly adores June, his treatment of her would really bother me.

Wha? I don't get that feeling at all.

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30 minutes in and this might be my favorite episode ever of this show. Zouks is crushing it. "Guys, you're not gonna find holes in this movie!"

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