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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 205 — Transgender

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Tig, David & Kyle try to remember the plot of "Copacabana," and Tig dishes on the Easter egg hunting champion of the Notaro household. Ian Harvie drops by the hatch to talk about being a trans man, incinerating boobs, growing vaginas, and why "I just don't want to date assholes" should be a sexual orientation.

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Confusing - the link in the episode's title on the front page links to episode 113 from July 2013, which is also about transgender.

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Ian is so genuine and nice to listen to.

 

I was surprised at his comment about everyone being a bit transgender. I guess I've always had silent beefs with gender and thought I was in the minority.

 

But is it the majority who can relate?

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Um, David was right on with his objection to murderers on death row. I can't believe he actually got crap for that one!

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Confusing - the link in the episode's title on the front page links to episode 113 from July 2013, which is also about transgender.

Yeah, I was confused when the guest kept changing from the guest on the home page to a totally different human being when I clicked the episode title. (That's what I call a "trans-ition!" Hi-ohhhh!) But yeah, I saw Aaron in the picture, and I guess they forgot to slap a "Part 2" in the title and URL.

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Ian is so genuine and nice to listen to.

 

I was surprised at his comment about everyone being a bit transgender. I guess I've always had silent beefs with gender and thought I was in the minority.

 

But is it the majority who can relate?

I don't know if it is the majority or not. Personally, I don't relate much to that. I guess I just don't relate myself to my gender much at all. To me, being a woman has little to nothing to do with wanting to wear makeup, have long hair, or wear dresses. The main woman-things that have impacted me as a human are bearing and feeding children. Not to say you have to do those things to be a woman, but that's just the only thing I can think of that identifies me strongly as one gender or the other. That and my vagina. But having never struggled with gender identity, I'm sure there are feelings that would be hard for me to fully comprehend. So I will support my fellow humans in this, and urge anyone to take whatever steps they need to to live their best life and/or calm their respective hearts.

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Ian is so genuine and nice to listen to.

 

I was surprised at his comment about everyone being a bit transgender. I guess I've always had silent beefs with gender and thought I was in the minority.

 

But is it the majority who can relate?

 

I think gender is similar to sexuality in that the majority can relate enough to the straightforward identities (straight, gay) that it doesn't give them much pause, but there are no strict boundaries, and many people don't quite fit into either of those labels. It's more complicated than just adding bisexuality and calling it a day because gender and sexuality are super personal and complicated and influenced by so many external factors, how each person identifies and what they are/aren't attracted to don't follow any set rules.. That's why we end up with so many different terms, because you're trying to box in people's unique experiences and not everybody is going to find a box that truly describes their own reality/truth.

 

Cis people who are comfortable with their gender identities still have varied gender presentations. For example, many women would be uncomfortable presenting like Dolly Parton, with corsets and fake boobs and wigs and heavy makeup and heels 24/7. Dolly Parton and Rachel Maddow are both cis women, but they have very different gender presentations. As a way to visualize it, if we have some gender matrix, you might have some people off in one corner and others in another. You could draw general boundaries around where the majority lie and say this is "women," but ultimately that definition/line is arbitrary, and each person is going to define "woman" differently and decide whether or not that describes them or not.

 

It can also be hard for many to find their own truth when there is so much stigma-- like Ian was describing, he considered continuing to live as a super butch lesbian, even though that didn't fit his true identity. Then there's the whole question of dysphoria and people experience that to different degrees, and some trans and non-binary people don't experience it at all. Some people who identify as cis could be comfortable identifying as non-binary/trans, but choose not to because of the stigma, internalized or not (similar to how some queer people choose to live as heterosexual for whatever reasons).

 

Tl;dr gender is complicated and just because most people can more or less fit into a box they're comfortable with, it doesn't mean that everyone in that box is really the same or in it for the same reasons.

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Great ep. Kyle singing "Sherry Baby" was amazing. Having seen him on Transparent, I'm also amazed that Ian is 46.

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Please start every episode by singing Barry Manilow songs (without knowing the lyrics). That was the best.

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