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DeathToMikeyBay

The signs of a bad movie list

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When the movie is staring Michael Madsen you know your in trouble. btw to book Michael Madsen for your movie making event, it cost a Minimum of $15,000-$24,999 according to celebritytalent.net. Carrot Top is Minimum Fee of $25,000-$39,999 but he will not make your childern cry at there birthday party that's Carrot Top's golden promise. carrot top is more money but clearly well worth it LOL

 

I get the feeling no unreasonable offer will be rejected when it comes to the likes of Michael Madsen.

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When the movie is staring Michael Madsen you know your in trouble. btw to book Michael Madsen for your movie making event, it cost a Minimum of $15,000-$24,999 according to celebritytalent.net. Carrot Top is Minimum Fee of $25,000-$39,999 but he will not make your childern cry at there birthday party that's Carrot Top's golden promise. carrot top is more money but clearly well worth it LOL

 

I get the feeling no unreasonable offer will be rejected when it comes to the likes of Michael Madsen.

 

I liked him in Free Willy

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Okay, here's one that happens way too often in sports movies...

 

"The ref's on their side!!"

 

Because the 1,000,000/1 underdogs overcoming the 100 year in a row champions aren't enough odds to overcome, the referee's on the take too, and is biased towards the other team, the other team can't just be fucking awesome, but obnoxious and arrogant, they have to cheat too.

 

Which also leads to another point in sports movies that gets overused.

 

Ignoring the rules of the sport completely:

 

"This has never happened before in the history of this sport!" That's because you're not following the rules! Like the boxers who get knocked down more than three times in a round, which should end the fight in a TKO. They usually do this more in Combat Sports movies.

That's why I love that scene in "Wet Hot American Summer" so much where Michael Showalter is psyching the kids up for the big game.

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i just have to say that,

The Wedding Singer is a good movie,

despite having 3 elements of a bad movie:

Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, and a rapping granny.

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Too much exposition, for sure. I don't have a good threshold for how much is too much, but like Justice Potter Stewart once said, "I know it when I see it".

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Nobody has mentioned the "Awkward Sport Scene(s)"

 

E.g. : "Catwoman" and "The Room" ( just to name a couple )

 

Don't forget the wonderful barbecue baseball scene in the Lance Bass classic "On the Line", what a great episode!

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If the Director only has one name (Pitof, Catwoman) or is named Uwe Boll (In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale).

 

Anytime a film cuts to stock footage within the first 5 minutes (bonus points if it looks like they just recorded the footage from a Discovery Channel show).

 

The film is about a (or multiple) shark(s) and is not Jaws.

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1. Rollerblading, skateboarding, or any extreme sport performed, preferably in a montage (Hackers, the Fast movies, Punisher: Warzone)

2. Annoying siblings/family members (Teen Witch, Stop or My Mom Will Shoot)

3. Musical numbers (From Justin to Kelly, Teen Witch, Rhinestone)

4. Horrible sex scenes (Color of Night, The Room)

5. Horrible Adaptations (Mortal Kombat, Judge Dredd)

6. Awful Generic Soundtracks (Drive Angry, Sharknado)

7. Trailer features either of these songs by Saliva:

 

or

 

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This week's film, "The Covenant", reminds me of another trope that pops up in a lot of bad films, where the main character(s) is set up to be THE coolest or most sympathetic person or the best at what they do in the universe that this movie takes place in, but it's completely unbelievable. It seems to happen the most in total vanity projects ("The Room", "Glitter", "Burlesque", "Cool As Ice") or in movies where the filmmakers don't seem to understand how their target demographic really works ("Hackers", "On The Line", "From Justin to Kelly", "Abduction"). Come to think of it, this applies to almost any movie starring a musician that's playing a non-musician that somehow ends up knowing a thing or two about music and BLOWS EVERYONE'S MINDS.

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Colon in the title.

 

Crank 2: High Voltage

Punisher: War Zone

Leprechaun: In the Hood

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn

Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Speed 2: Cruise Control

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

Easy Rider: The Ride Back

Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

TMNT 2: Secret of the Ooze

Mannequin 2: On the Move

Highlander II: The Quickening

xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

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Colon in the title.

 

Crank 2: High Voltage

Punisher: War Zone

Leprechaun: In the Hood

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn

Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Speed 2: Cruise Control

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

Easy Rider: The Ride Back

Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

TMNT 2: Secret of the Ooze

Mannequin 2: On the Move

Highlander II: The Quickening

xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

I don't know, I mean "3:10 to Yuma" was pretty good.

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I can't believe no one's said this, but how about adding unnecessary swearing/gore to a movie to make it R-rated? Usually, this is in the form of bad ADR, digital blood, or scenes that stick out like a sore thumb of a character doing or saying something that was clearly an inserted shot. I was fearing the worst when I heard that "Logan" was going to be R-rated, that it was just going to be the wrong reaction to all the praise that "Deadpool" was getting at the time, but as it turned out, they actually crafted it to be a more adult movie, so it was justified and not simply a PG-13 movie with blood and swearing grafted onto it.

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I don't know, I mean "3:10 to Yuma" was pretty good.

I mean, so was Mad Max: Fury Road.

 

But we're talking about a correlation that well exceeds the threshold for statistical significance.

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Bumping this to include "sex standing up" as discussed in mini episode 167.5. Feel free to add more to this ongoing list!

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Seconded. Ivan Drago does not care for this statement.

 

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Seconded. Ivan Drago does not care for this statement.

 

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He's also kind of a really nice dude. I met him at a festival last year, and he was really polite to all the fans that wanted to chat with him. As part of the festival, they do a thing called "Fantastic Debates," where two people debate a movie-related topic and then box each other (the most well-known ones are Drafthouse Founder

on whether or not Tai Chi is a "real martial art" and
on whether or not World of Warcraft is cool).

 

Unfortunately, I haven't found any video from last year's debates yet, but it was between two Drafthouse employees on whether Raging Bull or Rocky IV was a better movie. Lundgren stood in the ring to be part of the Rocky IV side's crew. On the Raging Bull side, another guy ran around ran around waving an American flag and giving Lundgren the finger the whole time they were debating. Lundgren played it up like he was incredibly pissed about it. But afterwards, he was super nice and said it was some of the most fun he'd ever had.

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He's also kind of a really nice dude. I met him at a festival last year, and he was really polite to all the fans that wanted to chat with him. As part of the festival, they do a thing called "Fantastic Debates," where two people debate a movie-related topic and then box each other (the most well-known ones are Drafthouse Founder

on whether or not Tai Chi is a "real martial art" and
on whether or not World of Warcraft is cool).

 

Unfortunately, I haven't found any video from last year's debates yet, but it was between two Drafthouse employees on whether Raging Bull or Rocky IV was a better movie. Lundgren stood in the ring to be part of the Rocky IV side's crew. On the Raging Bull side, another guy ran around ran around waving an American flag and giving Lundgren the finger the whole time they were debating. Lundgren played it up like he was incredibly pissed about it. But afterwards, he was super nice and said it was some of the most fun he'd ever had.

Oh, I'm sure the Dolph is a good dude. He also happens to be very well-educated and probably extremely intelligent. I think he studied at MIT. He's just not someone whom I'd consider to be a solid foundation for a good movie. His delivery leaves a lot to be desired. I know English isn't his first language, but it wasn't Arnold's either. And look at how well he turned out!

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Oh, I'm sure the Dolph is a good dude. He also happens to be very well-educated and probably extremely intelligent. I think he studied at MIT. He's just not someone whom I'd consider to be a solid foundation for a good movie. His delivery leaves a lot to be desired. I know English isn't his first language, but it wasn't Arnold's either. And look at how well he turned out!

 

He's great in Rocky IV, The Expendables 2, and Don't Kill It. There are far more apt actors to pin bad movies on than Dolph.

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He's great in Rocky IV, The Expendables 2, and Don't Kill It. There are far more apt actors to pin bad movies on than Dolph.

I haven't seen two of those films, but "great in Rocky IV" seems like a stretch. He has less than 10 lines and looks like very realistic wax figure when he's not throwing haymakers. I think there's a very low ceiling on his acting abilities. I agree he has some watchable performances, but nothing "great". Although to his credit, not all of his acting is as bad as what he put out in The Punisher, so he's at least a worthy candidate for Most Improved.

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