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EPISODE 113 — Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze: LIVE!

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Go Ninja! Go Ninja! Go!!! Paul, Jason AND June (not to mention special return guest Adam Pally of Happy Endings and The Mindy Project) are all here in a very special How Did This Get Made LIVE from Irving Plaza in New York City! They're talking about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze. They’ll cover everything from the horrific amount of pizza to why these are the most charmless turtles imaginable to April O’Neil’s strange relationship with the turtles. Plus, we hear from Vanilla Ice himself on how Ninja Rap was born before getting into Audience Q&A!

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Jeeze this was a horrible movie. I'm sure the episode will be great and make it worth it, but Jesus this movie was bad. The constant reaction shots of each individual turtle made it almost unwatchable for me. Take turtle one reaction, cut to turtle two, cut to turtle three, cut to turtle four. Some lame stuff happens or lame joke, take turtle one reaction, cut to turtle two, cut to turtle three, cut to turtle four. If I'd had to edit this film I am pretty sure it would have killed me.

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As of now this doesn't seem to be showing up on iTunes, Pocketcasts, or anything but the website.Don't know if theres something wrong or I'm just impatient, but I thought I'd say something in case there's an issue.

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I can’t help but thinking it’s achingly apparent that Donatello could have definitely benefited from a little more time in the ooze when they were initially exposed. Canonically, he’s supposed to be the genius of the four turtles, yet in this movie becomes so enamored by an inflatable clown (so much so that I legitimately thought he was going to fuck it) that he completely ignores the thirty person melee he is currently engaged in with a gang of Hagar slacks wearing robbers.

 

Furthermore, he evidently can’t come up with a single synonym to say something is “excellent.” Perestroika? A Capella? Frères Jacques? What the shit is he even trying to say? I mean, I guess it’s nice that he seems to know a few polysyllabic words, but parroting them without a true an understanding of their definition shows a marked lack of perspicacity.

 

Suck on that, Donatello!

 

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As of now this doesn't seem to be showing up on iTunes, Pocketcasts, or anything but the website.Don't know if theres something wrong or I'm just impatient, but I thought I'd say something in case there's an issue.

Should be up on iTunes now. Patience is the first lesson taught by Master Splinter. Now go do 10 backflips thanksforthefish.

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Post retracted in fear that the joke I was making may actually result in the event I was mocking. As cool as this place is, I sometimes forget that this is the Internet.

 

Instead, I'll just leave this...

 

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My favorite moment, hands down, occurs when the turtles go to save Raphael in that junkyard, and finally retreat back to the abandoned grand central station food court through a manhole. The escape route entails crawling through the cab of a truck, which appears to have refridgerators stacked on the truck bed or something? The other ninjas looked totally flummoxed as to how to overcome this obstacle when they start trying to chase them.

 

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But there are LITERALLY a multitude of other EASIER WAYS to get around, through, or under this truck. I've drawn a diagram (See, Below)

 

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But no. I feel like the enemy ninjas see this and have the same reaction one might to seeing the wall in GOT. Only when the mutant snapping turtle totally dismantles the truck does anyone get to the manhole. I've seen people on rascal scooters give better chase than this crew.

 

Also, how did you guys miss the Susie Essman cameo when April is carrying around the bag with the lone baguette?

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I just re-watched TMNT2 for the thousandth time. And I still like it. Its not as cool as the first one, but its still fun. About to start this episode...

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I can't believe I made an account specifically to answer this one point, but as a staunch defender of this movie, I have to point out that the reason Splinter has an Asian accent is because -- as a rat -- he was from Japan.

 

Also, let's be nice about Keno. Ernie Reyes Jr. is going through a lot right now, and for a LOT of Filipino/Filipino-Americans (like myself), Keno was the shit. Next to Rufio, naturally.

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I feel so bad for Adam Pally that his son watches this all the time. The first TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES was like my favorite movie as a kid. My sisters and I made our father take us to see it in the theater like five times. So we were super excited about this one. It came out less than a year after the first and we thought it'd be great (had Vanilla Ice!). And it was a big letdown for us.

 

I WAS THERE TOO (the Wolfpop podcast) recently had an episode with Josh Pais who was the voice and suit performer for Raphael in the first movie. I would love to know why he didn't do this one, though from the description of 70 lb sweat suits Paul played, I could guess.

 

Did you guys notice that basically no one from the first movie was in this one? April O'Neil was a different actress and most of the voice cast was different, even without the sweat suits.

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Two notes on ninjas and the "art of invisibility" as it's depicted in this movie.

 

When Splinter makes his first appearance, he admonishes Raphael for hanging out of a window stating, "You are a ninja. You must always practice the art of invisibility." But later, as mentioned on the show, Splinter himself just decides to go meditate on the roof of the New York City apartment building?? Fucking hypocrite! I mean, I've never been to New York, but I can't imagine that a five foot tall rat, dressed in rags, and sitting in the lotus position on the roof of an apartment building would go unnoticed for too long.

 

My second head scratcher was when The Shredder sends one of his minions to infiltrate April's news crew. This dude (who somehow lands a job on a very prominent reporter's news crew in less than a day) excuses himself, dresses in full Foot Clan regalia, corners April, presses her against a wall, and then...proceeds to unmask himself? Why not just deliver the Shredder's message, but remain incognito? Or, if he's just going to reveal himself anyway, why bother getting all ninja-ed out in the first place?

 

I hate to say it, but I think this movie might be dumb.

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I've been holding off on dropping this knowledge in the minisode thread, but now the episode is out, everyone knows and loves the Ninja Rap, and the time has come.

 

So, Vanilla Ice's (not Ice T, as Paul calls him once during this ep) Ninja Rap was the big thing to come out of this movie. But, the previous year (that's right, these movies were only a year apart), there was a song from the first movie that made it all the way to #13 on Billboard Top 100 and #1 on the UK Singles Chart. It was called Turtle Power by the rap duo Partners in Kryme:

 

 

Much like "Deepest Bluest," it basically just tells the plot of the first movie. Well, after that song, the group never really hit it big again. But, the last thing they did before splitting up was record a cover of a Donna Summer song called "Love to Love You":

 

 

But, so what, right? Some rap duo released two songs, and one of them was in a TMNT movie. Who gives a shit?

 

Yeah, I hear ya.

 

But here's the thing: their song "Love 2 Love U" was recorded for a little vehicle for one Rob Van Winkle: Cool as Ice!

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Alright nerds. Get ready.

 

First of all y'all lied to me that was the longest experience of my life. The lamest, longest hour and 25 minutes ever. And I knew I was gonna be in for a real treat when the whole movie starts off with some classic misogyny! I'm very pleased that they all caught on to the absolute douchey-ness that was that asshole. I hated him.

 

But for real corrections and omissions time this is what I've got. Does Donnie use a pool stick as his weapon? He just has this stick that he is like chalking the end every time he is about to get into a fight. I think he did it maybe three times? I mean we already all know that he doesn't even use it but why does he even bother chalking the end? It's not a pool game!

 

Shredder just let them stand there while they gave Tokka and Rahzar donuts?! Him and his whole gang just stand there the whole time! KILL THEM THEY ARE RIGHT THERE AND ALL OF YOUR NINJAS ARE JUST WATCHING A DONUT EXCHANGE!

 

So are we to believe that this "final battle" was the break dance fight? Because they never actually touch Shredder once and they even try to fucking talk to him. Their nemesis has just suddenly evolved into a super Shredder and they want to fucking talk to him. Y'all this movie makes me so mad. And then instead of just going ahead and fighting him they are like, "Wait we're turtles!" and go into the fucking water. Which when they come back up they are coughing and act like they actually can't breathe underwater. So which is it?! Can they go into water or not!?

 

I had no idea that was supposed to be a wolf monster until it changed back. Idk if I genuinely missed some part where they mentioned that he was a wolf but that monster looked more like an orangutan I swear. At least the snapping turtle still resembled a snapping turtle.

 

This movie was so lame. So lame. The lamest.

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But for real corrections and omissions time this is what I've got. Does Donnie use a pool stick as his weapon? He just has this stick that he is like chalking the end every time he is about to get into a fight. I think he did it maybe three times? I mean we already all know that he doesn't even use it but why does he even bother chalking the end? It's not a pool game!

It's a bo staff. The chalking thing is just...well, it's fucking nonsensical. But the real fun part is that it comes and goes throughout fights. Sometimes, it's across his back, but other times, it's nowhere to be seen - often within the same fight sequence.

 

Unrelated, but did anyone else think it was hilarious that Adam Pally was totally berating Michelangelo for being so over the top when, really, he's pretty much on the same level as Pally's character on The Mindy Project?

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It's a bo staff. The chalking thing is just...well, it's fucking nonsensical.

 

Unrelated, but did anyone else think it was hilarious that Adam Pally was totally berating Michelangelo for being so over the top when, really, he's pretty much on the same level as Pally's character on The Mindy Project?

 

I thought they were gonna do some type of pool game stunt but apparently that was too much logic for that stupid movie.

 

Also on the subject of Michelangelo, is he always regarded as the stupid one? I don't remember him being made fun of by his other brothers that much in the first movie... And I felt stupid watching it if I didn't exactly know what the fuck the professor was saying and then Leo had to explain to Mikey what was going on immediately after.

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Also on the subject of Michelangelo, is he always regarded as the stupid one? I don't remember him being made fun of by his other brothers that much in the first movie... And I felt stupid watching it if I didn't exactly what the fuck the professor was saying and then Leo had to explain to Mikey what was going on immediately after.

They definitely went over the top with him this time. He's always had the surfer dude persona, but they basically brought all the other turtles up to his normal level in this movie and then rolled him up to 11. I'm pretty sure I have something in my notes that says something along the lines of "Sooo...Raph's a dick, and Donny can use a computer, but otherwise, we have four Mikeys."

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Haven't listened to the cast yet, My household owns TMNT I and III but somehow not II: Secret of the Ooze, even though my husband says this was his favorite one as a kid! I don't think I will be paying for this (until my husband secretly buys it to fill out his collection), so I guess I will have to listen to the episode cold.

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Donny can use a computer,

 

If you mean he can sit in front of an unlocked computer, press the up and down arrow keys a couple of times, read what is currently on the screen, make no attempt to access any other files, and throw his hands up to the mystery of it all, then yes, I suppose Donatello can use a computer.

 

(Head's up guys, I've got a lot of issues with this Donnie fella)

 

 

Alright nerds. Get ready.

 

I don't know who you're talking to, I'm cool as shit.

 

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Maybe its just the nostalgia of being a guy who grew up playing with Ninja Turtles, and watching the cartoons and the movies so many times, but I don't think "TMNT 2" is all that bad of a movie. ESPECIALLY when you compare it to "TMNT 3: Turtles in Time." That movie is pure garbage. I think its way more fitting as a HDTGM movie than the second one. And somehow, they talked Elias Koteas into coming back to play Casey Jones. Also, Corey Feldman is back as Donatello. (He couldn't be in the 2nd one because he was in rehab.)

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Alright nerds. Get ready.

 

First of all y'all lied to me that was the longest experience of my life. The lamest, longest hour and 25 minutes ever. And I knew I was gonna be in for a real treat when the whole movie starts off with some classic misogyny! I'm very pleased that they all caught on to the absolute douchey-ness that was that asshole. I hated him.

I take partial blame for this debacle ("At least it's short...", I said), and for that I will gladly fall on my sword...

 

PSYCH!

 

I CAN'T commit seppuku if I'm not allowed to use my sword! BAM! Up top!

*runs around the room collecting high fives*

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Did anyone else think it was weird that not only the Turtles, but also the Foot ninjas were able to just waltz into a lab containing highly potent mutant ooze without running into any security? It's possible Shredder's team dispatched some because we weren't following them, but we were with the Turtles the whole time, and they didn't dispatch shit.

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