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EPISODE 113 — Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze: LIVE!

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For anyone else who hates him- or herself:

 

For anyone that's curious but hasn't lost the will to live, it's basically Rock the Casbah but Rock the Halfshell + even shittier Turtle costumes. And I'm pretty sure they just grabbed a random girl off the street that fit into the yellow coveralls they had to be April.

 

(And Kevin Eastman shows up at the very end to prove that there's nothing he won't whore himself out for)

 

You know what? I honestly don't mind it.... That isn't to say I think it's a masterpiece or anything, I'm just saying that the kids in the video look to be having a good time (as opposed to the Coming out of Their Shells kids), and to me, that's really the most important thing. The Partners in Kryme guys seem to be out there doing something positive, and I'm all for people doing whatever they can to make people happy--even if it may seem a little silly.

 

I mean, hey, it's just me and my three-year-old son over here, but if he wants to go see Partners in Kryme perform "Turtle Power" and "Rock the Half-shell," not only would I take him, I'd get all crunk up in that piece.

 

And sorry man, but I can't get behind you on the Kevin Eastman thing either. First of all, I doubt he got paid to be in a Partners in Kryme video, and secondly, if I were him, I would 100% do it. Shit man, if I could get a book published and have it be a tenth as successful as TMNT, I'd be so grateful I'd do just about anything anyone wanted of me. "You want to write a song about characters I made up? That's awesome! Just tell me what you want me to do. Lip sync and look awkward? I can do that!"

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And sorry man, but I can't get behind you on the Kevin Eastman thing either. First of all, I doubt he got paid to be in a Partners in Kryme video, and secondly, if I were him, I would 100% do it. Shit man, if I could get a book published and have it be a tenth as successful as TMNT, I'd be so grateful I'd do just about anything anyone wanted of me. "You want to write a song about characters I made up? That's awesome! Just tell me what you want me to do. Lip sync and look awkward? I can do that!"

As a comics nerd, I don't really care for Kevin Eastman, but that's a whole other discussion, and maybe I'm just projecting that.

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I've hesitated to post this because I don't want to start a, as Cameron H. puts it, forum firestorm, but most of the people here seem chill so here goes. Adam Pally's accent bits are problematic. He reveled in them too much for them to be a critical lampooning of racist accents. Thank goodness the hosts called him out on them (in a way that saved face for Pally).

 

Certain kinds of racial humor are like Mt. Everest. The first few summittings are notable because they were the firsts and shed some light on human nature. However, since more and more people have done it, climbing Everest have become an individualistic and vainglorious activity that adds nothing to the world except for frozen turds, garbage and corpses. I applaud the HDTGM crew for not heeding the "because it's there" siren call of those kinds of racial humor.

I didn't know adam pally before this show, and i think he came off as kind of obnoxious and annoying. I remember June was trying to talk about something, and he completely interrupted her just so he could bring up his splinter karaoke bit, which felt so forced anyway. It was like he was thinking the whole time "oh man i can't wait to bring up my awesome joke about karaoke." it would have been funnier if it felt more natural. in general he was really laughing a bit too much at his own antics.

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For anyone else who hates him- or herself:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoXcDLikPLA

 

For anyone that's curious but hasn't lost the will to live, it's basically Rock the Casbah but Rock the Halfshell + even shittier Turtle costumes. And I'm pretty sure they just grabbed a random girl off the street that fit into the yellow coveralls they had to be April.

 

(And Kevin Eastman shows up at the very end to prove that there's nothing he won't whore himself out for)

 

I know what the entertainment will be at my next birthday party now.

 

 

I mean, hey, it's just me and my three-year-old son over here, but if he wants to go see Partners in Kryme perform "Turtle Power" and "Rock the Half-shell," not only would I take him, I'd get all crunk up in that piece.

 

The young people call it getting turned up these days. Turned is pronounced turnt.

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I've hesitated to post this because I don't want to start a, as Cameron H. puts it, forum firestorm, but most of the people here seem chill so here goes...

 

Hey now, it's obvious Jason expects us all to be discourteous, irrational little monsters to one another on the forums. I don't know that we should let him down...

 

I say, let's do this shit!

 

giphy.gif

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The young people call it getting turned up these days. Turned is pronounced turnt.

 

Sweet Jesus, I'm out of touch! Please tell me the kids are at least still "gettin' jiggy wit it..."

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The real bitch of it all is that Leonardo doesn't really have a personality to speak of, even in the cartoons.

 

I think Pally nailed Leonardo's whole character with his "brash kids show" voice.

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I say, let's do this shit!

Yes. Let's. My world is fire and blood.

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Sweet Jesus, I'm out of touch! Please tell me the kids are at least still "gettin' jiggy wit it..."

 

These kids think they're all that and a bag of chips.

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Yes. Let's. My world is fire and blood.

 

May you enter the gates of Valhalla shiny and chrome!

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May you enter the gates of Valhalla shiny and chrome!

Thank goodness so far people have been nice about my comment so I don't have to bust out the silver spray paint yet.

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NO IT'S PRONOUNCED MEE-LA!

 

HEY, its not Armen's fault he was born into a rich family!

 

Oh sorry wrong show.

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Thank goodness so far people have been nice about my comment so I don't have to bust out the silver spray paint yet.

I mean, you still can if you WANT. For fun. I think the guy in the movie did it like seven times before he actually did anything! It must have been delicious.

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I mean, you still can if you WANT. For fun. I think the guy in the movie did it like seven times before he actually did anything! It must have been delicious.

LOL. I don't doubt it. Wilton is a solid brand. I bet even in a post-apocalyptic market they are able to manage some kind of quality control.

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Someone asked who would perform a song about the turtles if it was made today. well, it already happened for last year's reboot.

 

wiz khalifa, juicy j, and Ty Dolla $ign - Shell Shocked

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So Tokka and Rahzar are supposed to be the most vicious animals that the second-in-command Foot soldier could find? Yet when they are returned to their natural state, Rahzar is what appears to be an incredibly well-adjusted wolf/dog? I mean, he's in the middle of "the club" with bass throbbing, keytars literally blowing ninja through walls, people everywhere, some of whom are fighting, and that dog is just happily chilling and taking in the scene.

 

And these are the most vicious animals in NYC? The writers couldn't even go cliche and give us a mutant sewer alligator? (Although, I think I recall that there was a Bayou-themed alligator character in the cartoon.) Not even a C.H.U.D.?

 

Hell, I'd say I could understand why they didn't go with the obvious mutant rat since we already have Splinter, but they did go with Tokka who is just another turtle. Now that I think about it, going with Tokka and a mutated grey rat might have actually made more sense in the vein of the "fighting a shadow version of yourself" video game trope.

 

And why not start with trying the ooze on one of your highly-trained runaway teenage ninjas that society has abandoned to a life of crime? Child labor laws?

 

As for the shorts, that's a classic NYC complaint. I've been in the city eleven years and I've only worn shorts a handful of times to go swimming. And even then, I didn't wear the shorts to the beach, I changed into them when I got there.

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And these are the most vicious animals in NYC? The writers couldn't even go cliche and give us a mutant sewer alligator? (Although, I think I recall that there was a Bayou-themed alligator character in the cartoon.) Not even a C.H.U.D.?

Leatherhead was the alligator's name. He was from the Everglades but had a Cajun accent for no apparent reason.

 

As for the shorts, that's a classic NYC complaint. I've been in the city eleven years and I've only worn shorts a handful of times to go swimming. And even then, I didn't wear the shorts to the beach, I changed into them when I got there.

That's fuckin' weird, man. :)

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Leatherhead was the alligator's name. He was from the Everglades but had a Cajun accent for no apparent reason.

 

Ah! That's it. He sprung to mind as a boss in one of the TMNT arcade games, but I couldn't recall if he was a character on the show or something.

 

As for the shorts, that's a classic NYC complaint. I've been in the city eleven years and I've only worn shorts a handful of times to go swimming. And even then, I didn't wear the shorts to the beach, I changed into them when I got there.

That's fuckin' weird, man. :)

 

No argument from me! I grew up in Mississippi so I wore shorts most of the time as a youth, but when I moved to NYC I just stopped. It wasn't a conscious decision, and no one ever hassled me for wearing them, but I guess I picked up on it subconsciously. It's really not all that rare to see men in shorts these days, but some jerk will most likely give you a hard time if you wear them out on a Saturday night. Much like what happened in this podcast! And that's not even the first time I've heard a comedian point out the "cargo shorts guy" in the front row. It's all in good fun though. It's NY! You can honestly wear whatever you want, like a cat on your head, a cape, leather in summer, etc., and most people will just ignore you.

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Not just a different actress, but a way hotter one. (That must have been one of the studio notes, right after "less violence.") Kind of disappointed in Jason's recent lack of deviant sexual comments during their commentary.

 

Incorrect: The TMNT 2 April doesn't go around braless for the entire movie.

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Ah! Kevin Nash (Super Shredder) plays one of the strippers--he's the one with the long hair and the tattoos--in Magic MIke XXL.

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Oh and Channing Tatum (Caine Wise in Jupiter Ascending) is also in Magic Mike XXL.

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science corner.

 

i did my best to search through the other posts to make sure that i wasn't repeating something someone else already said, but my cat is asleep on my arm so instead of doing the sensible thing, i'm trying to balance my slippery computer on my sternum while doing everything with my non-dominant hand.

 

So are we to believe that this "final battle" was the break dance fight? Because they never actually touch Shredder once and they even try to fucking talk to him. Their nemesis has just suddenly evolved into a super Shredder and they want to fucking talk to him. Y'all this movie makes me so mad. And then instead of just going ahead and fighting him they are like, "Wait we're turtles!" and go into the fucking water. Which when they come back up they are coughing and act like they actually can't breathe underwater. So which is it?! Can they go into water or not!?

 

 

all reptiles have lungs (and not gills) so turtles need to surface in order to breathe.

but you'd think they'd be able to hold their breath longer, right?

 

weeeeeird.. i did a cursory wikipedia search and found some weird turtle/tortoise respiratory facts/"facts":

  • "...some species have modified their cloaca to increase the area for gas exchange". <-- they exhale through their butts?
  • they don't really have a diaphragm, and because of the varying rigidity of turtle shells, it sounds like there's some kind of internal Rube Goldberg machine at work.. some of sets of muscles work like our diaphragm.. but other turtles basically need to retract/protract their legs in order to breathe? some maybe need to be walking for this to worki think i'm misunderstanding that part, while green sea turtles can't breathe while "walking".. so when you see video of a turtle dragging itself on a beach to lay eggs it's holding it's breathe while moving and can only breathe when resting..
  • and something about most reptiles not having a separation between thei nasal and oral cavities.. so the Turtles wouldn't likely be able to talk (breathe) while eating pizza. i think.

WHAT?

rheodytesFitzroyRiverTurtle.jpg

 

http://illuminationstudios.com/archives/63"

 

some turtles can actually breathe through their butts!?

 

 

Because y'all released an art history nerd monster let's also point out how despite Michelangelo's brilliance in sculpture and painting he had no idea what a woman's body looked like

 

michelangelo-night.jpg

 

If I were friends with Ninja Turtle Mikey I probably would call him Apple Boobs instead.

 

http://www.nejm.org/...200011233432118

 

apparently it was most likely breast cancer.

 

 

i can't put my finger on it, but Donatello's Penitent Magdalene looks like some 70s musician.. ?

 

576px-Donatello%2C_maria_maddalena_02.JPG

 

this is going to bug me..

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i can't put my finger on it, but Donatello's Penitent Magdalene looks like some 70s musician.. ?

 

576px-Donatello%2C_maria_maddalena_02.JPG

 

this is going to bug me..

kind of looks like dream from sandman...

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