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EPISODE 113 — Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze: LIVE!

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It still makes me laugh when I think about Pally's kid just going around randomly yelling "THEY ARE BABIES!" I want to show this to my future children in hopes that they will do that too. It'll be the new parenting method that sweeps the nation!

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right, but that doesn't connect them to april's apartment or the pizzas, at least from keno's point of view. they're just some guys turtles hanging out on a roof

 

Keno is pretty creepy. I wouldn't put it past him that he stalked out that roof until he spotted them, then killed the guy he was supposed to deliver the pizza to so that he could get in the building and knock on April's door. I think everything after that point is basically just the turtles dreaming in a chloroform filled haze...

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Long time listener and I have to say this is the funniest episode so far. When Adam Pally started his stereotypical Chinese accent, I LOST IT! I know you all will probably never make it to Houston, Texas but if the opportunity ever comes up please advertise everywhere. Great job guys, cant wait till your next live event.

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It still makes me laugh when I think about Pally's kid just going around randomly yelling "THEY ARE BABIES!" I want to show this to my future children in hopes that they will do that too. It'll be the new parenting method that sweeps the nation!

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that forcing your child to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II The Secret of the Ooze is considered child abuse in the state of California.

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Although, I was surprised they didn't mention two moments of genuine, good comedy.

 

Omission 1:

Splinter has scolded them for not being very ninja-like and has Michelangelo do a bunch of backflips. He heads of to do them and we see him start and for the rest of the scene we can hear him do them in the background. Until Leo walks off and the camera pans along with him to reveal Mikey in the background just clapping his hands and counting. He realises he's caught and starts again.

 

Even now that's still pretty funny.

 

Omission 2:

The turtles have broken into the foot's lair looking for Raph. They get in and there's a bit of dialogue, "seems quiet…" to which one of the turtles replies, "…a little too quiet". They continue and come across two gaurds. Knocking them out they comment, "huh, that was easy…", "a little too easy".

 

When they finally spot Raph, donatello says, "Look! There's Raph!", to which Mikey replies, "…a little too Raph"

 

That's genuinely one of my favourite jokes!

 

YES! both great jokes and the "little too..." had me laughing HARD when i was rewatching this. hell, just reading your post had me cracking up again.

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When I was a kid, I used to love this movie. I thought Keno was awesome (get well soon, Ernie Reyes Jr!), and it was the perfect segue into Surf Ninjas and Three Ninjas (TMNT 2 being 91, 3 Ninjas being 92, and Surf Ninjas being 93...

 

Seriously, fuck that movie.

 

I just ordered 3 ninjas on dvd. i watched that once a week when i was growing up. i don't think it's THAT HDTGM worthy. Surf Ninjas though...that is another abomination altogether.

 

anyways...

so the guy in the audience was really going to propose,right? if so...what the hell was he thinking? for starters...HDTGM is probably not the best place to do it. Plus...other people probably don't care about your love life to have to sit through your propsal.

 

June is the show's MVP...she brings so much to the table and I miss her point of view when it's gone. Jason gets pretty crazy but he and Paul tend to have similar thoughts on the movie. Pally is an amazing guest and his appearance here just makes me wish he was in more things.

 

When this movie came out I tried to imitate the yoyo scene at the beginning where he is twirling it around his head. I promptly hit myself in the eye.

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Hey, Auden! Yeah, I would agree with you from a historical standpoint, and if that were the reason posited in the movie, I would have bought that. The problem is that’s not the reason the movie puts forward. In the movie Splinter says, “Now the outside world beckons your teenage minds, but they can never understand. Their world can never be ours.”

 

My argument is: they seem to be positively drowning in “understanding.” Everyone they meet immediately accepts and loves them. So hiding from the world kind of seems silly, again, as far as the movie is concerned.

 

To sixgunbuddy’s point regarding keeping their identities secret to avoid experimentation, I get that as well, but again, there isn’t any “in universe” evidence to support that this would be an issue. In fact, in David Warner’s character, they have a character in the movie who could directly address this. The ooze that created them is a direct result of experiments his company was conducting, yet he doesn’t ask them for so much as a blood sample? I mean, really? That’s not even invasive. You’d think just out of scientific curiosity he’d ask for that. Then again, the libido of his scientific curiosity seems to be so flaccid that when his company loses a canister full of hazardous goop down the city's sewer he does absolutely nothing! Oh, he knows it fell into the sewer, he tells them as much when he first meets them, yet he didn’t do a damn thing to try and retrieve it. Seriously, that’s taking apathy to a whole new level!

Alright, now you've got me thinking more about david warner and the ooze...They had no idea what this stuff did, lost a can down a sewer, and didn't care. 15 years later david warner meets these giant anthropomorphic turtles (raising a further question of why did the ooze make them more human, and why then did we not have talking samurai dandelions?), instantly puts it together that his ooze did this, and doesn't care at all. Scientifically, this stuff is absolutely amazing! the ability to manipulate DNA with that much power would change the whole world! Even if it was dangerous or eventually caused cancer, the study of it could have huge implications on disease, aging, evolution, etc. This guy would be set for life with grants flying out the wazoo if he let people know what he found. He is literally the worst scientist ever.

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I just ordered 3 ninjas on dvd. i watched that once a week when i was growing up. i don't think it's THAT HDTGM worthy. Surf Ninjas though...that is another abomination altogether.

The first 3 Ninjas is still a decent kids' movie. I watched it a few years back, and it holds up well enough.

 

Any of the three sequels, though, are totally fair game for HDTGM (the last one has Hulk Hogan in it...just sayin').

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When I was a kid growing up in Asheville, North Carolina my brother spent a summer volunteering with an individual known as the "Turtle Man". This man had literally hundreds of turtles that lined the walls of his home in aquariums, as well as snakes, salamanders, and even three alligators in his pool. But the star of his collection was a 50 lb. alligator snapping turtle named Helga, who played the de-mutated version of Tokka in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze. My entire elementary school class took a field trip once to meet Helga (a fine example of the early 90's Asheville City School educational agenda) and the Turtle Man even showed us the huge shell cover Helga had to wear for the role. Apparently the producers deemed her natural shell not scary enough and had her fitted for a gigantic spikier prosthetic shell for her few seconds of screen time. Although mutant Tokka is supposed to be a baby, I believe Helga was around 70 years old at the time of filming. Why did this movie need to import an elderly turtle from North Carolina to masquerade as a scary baby in the middle of a Vanilla Ice concert? Did Helga just really nail her audition?? I have no idea, but as a kid I fucking loved it. I saw "Out of their Shells" live and wore out my cassette tape of the concert. I was the worst. Sorry Mom & Dad!

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Alright, now you've got me thinking more about david warner and the ooze...They had no idea what this stuff did, lost a can down a sewer, and didn't care. 15 years later david warner meets these giant anthropomorphic turtles (raising a further question of why did the ooze make them more human, and why then did we not have talking samurai dandelions?), instantly puts it together that his ooze did this, and doesn't care at all. Scientifically, this stuff is absolutely amazing! the ability to manipulate DNA with that much power would change the whole world! Even if it was dangerous or eventually caused cancer, the study of it could have huge implications on disease, aging, evolution, etc. This guy would be set for life with grants flying out the wazoo if he let people know what he found. He is literally the worst scientist ever.

The most disappointing thing about David Warner as Professor Jordon Scientist dude is that he never once used his calculator watch to calculate anything... that and he didn't cure cancer.

 

When I was a kid growing up in Asheville, North Carolina my brother spent a summer volunteering with an individual known as the "Turtle Man". This man had literally hundreds of turtles that lined the walls of his home in aquariums, as well as snakes, salamanders, and even three alligators in his pool. But the star of his collection was a 50 lb. alligator snapping turtle named Helga, who played the de-mutated version of Tokka in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze. My entire elementary school class took a field trip once to meet Helga (a fine example of the early 90's Asheville City School educational agenda) and the Turtle Man even showed us the huge shell cover Helga had to wear for the role. Apparently the producers deemed her natural shell not scary enough and had her fitted for a gigantic spikier prosthetic shell for her few seconds of screen time. Although mutant Tokka is supposed to be a baby, I believe Helga was around 70 years old at the time of filming. Why did this movie need to import an elderly turtle from North Carolina to masquerade as a scary baby in the middle of a Vanilla Ice concert? Did Helga just really nail her audition?? I have no idea, but as a kid I fucking loved it. I saw "Out of their Shells" live and wore out my cassette tape of the concert. I was the worst. Sorry Mom & Dad!

A baby snapping turtle is tiny. I nearly stepped on one walking home from work the other day. Was this by chance the Turtle Man on Animal Planet? You know the "live action" guy that picks up turtles out of swamps and creeks and enjoys dancing. Below is a picture of the little snapping turtle baby I almost stepped on. From head to tail, it was smaller than the palm of my had. My hands are about average for a man.

 

11406173_722480924546735_7689650820098185034_o.jpg

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Why do all comedians bag on people wearing shorts? Turns out it's pretty fucking hot in July.

 

 

Oh crap, guys! Looks like you're in some hot water with the fat cats over at Big Shorts. Watch yourselves.

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I just wanted to say that while this was one of my favorite episodes ever, and I bet the movie is just ridiculous looking back at it now... It freaking ruled when I was 11, and so did Ninja Rap.

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Oh crap, guys! Looks like you're in some hot water with the fat cats over at Big Shorts. Watch yourselves.

 

Someone needs to tell Kremer that Jason is trying to force government pants on people right in the midst of summah.

 

On a personal note, I'm living in the south temporarily, and if it weren't for shorts that showed off my disgusting legs I might be dead. Also I'd rather look at disgusting legs than see people in pants with sweaty crotches. But I 100% agree with Paul that sandals are repellent and should be banned in public spaces.

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The first 3 Ninjas is still a decent kids' movie. I watched it a few years back, and it holds up well enough.

 

Any of the three sequels, though, are totally fair game for HDTGM (the last one has Hulk Hogan in it...just sayin').

 

in agreement with you there. IIRC the sequels couldn't even get all 3 of the original actors back together, right? bte in this era of 90s nostalgia where the hell is my 3 ninjas reboot/reunion?!

 

Why do all comedians bag on people wearing shorts? Turns out it's pretty fucking hot in July.

 

hey now it was a 10 pm show and you are going out for the night? i think most people can throw on some jeans. unless it's like super hot then whatever, you have the right to bare legs.

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Someone needs to tell Kremer that Jason is trying to force government pants on people right in the midst of summah.

 

On a personal note, I'm living in the south temporarily, and if it weren't for shorts that showed off my disgusting legs I might be dead. Also I'd rather look at disgusting legs than see people in pants with sweaty crotches. But I 100% agree with Paul that sandals are repellent and should be banned in public spaces.

 

Fair enough, but...the episode was recorded sometime in May, at 10PM, on apparently a rainy night. Given those factors, I think shorts would be a bit weird. Also, you're going out, dress up a bit. Show respect for yourself and the performers. If I am ever so fortunate to go to a HDTGM live show, I promise to go full suit. Like this classy gentleman:

 

pft.jpg

 

But who knows...Maybe this can be the forum firestorm Jason was begging for. How about it, guys? Shorts or no shorts? Let's really tear each other apart!

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hey now it was a 10 pm show and you are going out for the night? i think most people can throw on some jeans. unless it's like super hot then whatever, you have the right to bare legs.

 

Beat me to it. :)

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Fair enough, but...the episode was recorded sometime in May, at 10PM, on apparently a rainy night. Given those factors, I think shorts would be a bit weird. Also, you're going out, dress up a bit. Show respect for yourself and the performers. If I am ever so fortunate to go to a HDTGM live show, I promise to go full suit. Like this classy gentleman:

 

pft.jpg

 

But who knows...Maybe this can be the forum firestorm Jason was begging for. How about it, guys? Shorts or no shorts? Let's really tear each other apart!

 

Fair point, I forgot this was recorded a while back.

 

I will take this opportunity to post a picture of Jason in shorts, though. The grosso!

 

IMG_7390.jpg

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I do agree that feet are kinda gross and sandals are best utilized at the beach or pool, particularly for men. And of course we must acknowledge that Zooks was doing a bit.

 

That said - adults telling other adults what to wear, how to drink their cocktails, how to eat their food... Just. Stop. This happens all the time and I find it to be the zenith of pretentious behavior. You aren't Maxim magazine, and frankly you probably aren't very bright, so just drink your shit neat and I'll take my ice cubes and everyone should just focus on how to not be the worst humans ever for five seconds a day and we'd all be happier.

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I'm guessing [Raphael] is supposed to be the leader, yes?

"Raphael! He's the leader of the group!" -Partners in Kryme, "Turtle Power"

 

:D

 

A couple people have mentioned this song already. I've read a couple things that Partners in Kryme have said elsewhere, and I can honestly see how this mistake would get made (In the cartoon, Leonardo is clearly the leader. They even mention it in the theme song! I'll admit ignorance of the comics and whether they have an established "leader" in them.). Their basic story is that they were more or less told "Here's this movie, go write a song about it". And if you've only seen the first movie, thinking Raphael is the leader is a pretty reasonable conclusion to draw--he's the first Turtle we meet in the first movie, and in as much as there's a viewpoint or "main" turtle in both of the first two movies, Raph is it.

 

The two problems here are that 1. I find it almost impossible to believe someone wouldn't have at least known of the cartoon at the time of the first movie, and 2. There's a line (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100758/quotes?item=qt0352402) in the first movie where Raph, albeit sarcastically, refers to Leo as "A great leader".

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But who knows...Maybe this can be the forum firestorm Jason was begging for. How about it, guys? Shorts or no shorts? Let's really tear each other apart!

As someone that wears shorts and flip-flops nearly everywhere he goes (including to my office), if I'm going to a live show like this, I can put on some fucking pants and real shoes. (Didn't PFT talk about something eerily similar on Spontaneanation last week with Colin Hanks?)

 

"Raphael! He's the leader of the group!" -Partners in Kryme, "Turtle Power"

 

:D

 

A couple people have mentioned this song already. I've read a couple things that Partners in Kryme have said elsewhere, and I can honestly see how this mistake would get made (In the cartoon, Leonardo is clearly the leader. They even mention it in the theme song! I'll admit ignorance of the comics and whether they have an established "leader" in them.). Their basic story is that they were more or less told "Here's this movie, go write a song about it". And if you've only seen the first movie, thinking Raphael is the leader is a pretty reasonable conclusion to draw--he's the first Turtle we meet in the first movie, and in as much as there's a viewpoint or "main" turtle in both of the first two movies, Raph is it.

 

The two problems here are that 1. I find it almost impossible to believe someone wouldn't have at least known of the cartoon at the time of the first movie, and 2. There's a line (http://www.imdb.com/...?item=qt0352402) in the first movie where Raph, albeit sarcastically, refers to Leo as "A great leader".

Leo's basically the leader in all incarnations of the Turtles. However, Raph butts heads with him frequently. I could get, though, how you could get the impression in the movies that Raph might be the leader. Leo does less leading (especially in the second movie) and more kissing Splinter's ass.

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The HDTGM crew is going to change their minds REAL quick when Big Shorts steps in and becomes a sponsor. In the meantime, I hope that Bonobos, or whoever the fuck, sends Paul shorts on his next shipment (you only keep what you want!), and every shipment from now on! It's like Netflix for your dresser drawers!

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The most disappointing thing about David Warner as Professor Jordon Scientist dude is that he never once used his calculator watch to calculate anything... that and he didn't cure cancer.

 

 

A baby snapping turtle is tiny. I nearly stepped on one walking home from work the other day. Was this by chance the Turtle Man on Animal Planet? You know the "live action" guy that picks up turtles out of swamps and creeks and enjoys dancing. Below is a picture of the little snapping turtle baby I almost stepped on. From head to tail, it was smaller than the palm of my had. My hands are about average for a man.

 

11406173_722480924546735_7689650820098185034_o.jpg

 

 

I had not heard of the Animal Planet Turtle Man! That Google Image search was VERY upsetting. This Turtle Man was definitely not that Turtle Man, which means that there are multiple Turtle Men out there, gathering turtles..

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I had not heard of the Animal Planet Turtle Man! That Google Image search was VERY upsetting. This Turtle Man was definitely not that Turtle Man, which means that there are multiple Turtle Men out there, gathering turtles..

Some men have a greater calling than others. Those men are turtle men.

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FIRST - im not american,i live in europe,

BUT i have to say, what was jason thinking ranting in the beginning about 9/11??

what is your point in trying to make fun of that horrible thing?

seriously you are better than that,

there were nothing funny about that day.

 

that was a low point.

you could hear how paul tried to save the situation by steering it away from that.

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