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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 124 - Hackers

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Angelina Jolene looks an awful lot like a certain Star Trek Enterprise character.

 

Wait a minute...2 Jolenes?

 

Angelina Jolene Blalock????!!!!! O_O

I mean...maybe if her name wasn't Angelina Jolie.

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This was one of the most anticipated ones for me and I feel like you guys maybe left this on in the background while you were doing something else instead of giving it the attention it deserves.

 

Tell me about it. I for one am outraged -- outraged!!!!! -- at the hosts' GLARING OMISSION of the fact that the alias Fisher Stevens uses when trying to escape on the plane is "Mr. Babbage", an obvious reference to Charles Babbage, inventor of the Difference Engine, a 19th century precursor to the modern computer.

 

These clowns better get their act together. If the episode where they do the movie Steel doesn't have an ACTUAL bio-mechanically armored genius inventor from the African-American superhero community to set them straight, I am OUTTA HERE.

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After EllenM's post on the last page, I was going to say that you should watch your back because she might be coming for you.

 

But then you countered with a Dolly gif, and I realized EllenM still has a ways to go.

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Have you ever heard the 45 version of Jolene played at 33 rpm? It is pretty cool

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Tell me about it. I for one am outraged -- outraged!!!!! -- at the hosts' GLARING OMISSION of the fact that the alias Fisher Stevens uses when trying to escape on the plane is "Mr. Babbage", an obvious reference to Charles Babbage, inventor of the Difference Engine, a 19th century precursor to the modern computer.

I'd be surprised if it even goes that deep. As a child of the late 80s-early 90s, I remember Babbage from Babbage's, one of the early mall video game stores, which I'm sure is named after that guy. If I ever write a cyber-thriller, I'd modernize things a bit and give my antagonist an alias like "Mr. Software Etc.", because I'm all about the subtle winks...

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But seriously guys, can we stop talking about Hackers now? This place is seriously starting to bum me out.

 

It's Wednesday y'all!

 

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Sorry for the double post but...

After EllenM's post on the last page, I was going to say that you should watch your back because she might be coming for you.

 

But then you countered with a Dolly gif, and I realized EllenM still has a ways to go.

 

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It's exams and when I take breaks and check the forums, I have no time for fools. I'm coming for you all.

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Sorry for the double post but...

 

 

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It's exams and when I take breaks and check the forums, I have no time for fools. I'm coming for you all.

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It's Wednesday y'all!

 

Hell yeah! Happy Woden's Day, everyone!

 

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Fuck this movie!

 

It's exams and when I take breaks and check the forums, I have no time for fools. I'm coming for you all.

 

Well, good luck to you! I certainly hope you are able to use both this movie and forum as the bountiful resources they've been to help you with any essays you might have regarding Cyber Law. I only ask that you properly cite my posts.

 

And please, for the love of God, you only have a limited time on your tests, so please try not to get so fixated on trying to figure out BB-8's mission that you forget everything you've learned this semester and freeze up. Oh shit, did I just plant that seed in your brain? Sorry about that...

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I didn't know glamour shots were a part of one's school profile...

 

- Pete, The S Man

 

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Ugh, I hate it when fencing is presented as this elite ubermensch activity in movies (almost as much as movies who only know how to show a character is super smart by having them play chess).

 

I took fencing for 3 years at 3 different schools. Each and every fencing class was a collection of weirdos who couldn't stop quoting Monty Python, fat neckbeards talking about their katana collection, and preppies with major rage issues.*

 

 

* The preppies were usually upperclassmen running the team/club. They would all introduce every class by how we're all just there to have fun, and then throw MAJOR fits when they lost. It wasn't uncommon for them to tear off their mask and hurl it against a wall whenever they had a point scored against them. When they started losing a practice match, they would call over a fellow preppy to take over directing (reffing) where mysteriously every call would then starting favoring them until they won.

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I mean...maybe if her name wasn't Angelina Jolie.

 

Buddy, I stopped at J-O-L before thoughts of pixie bowl cuts and T'Pol fan fiction took over. Cut me a break here.

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Another incredible thing about this film:

 

At the very end, when Fisher Stevens is in his old man disguise (did he have the wigs and makeup just lying around?) and the secret service agent arrests him on the plane...why didn't he arrest him at the airport, before boarding the plane? I'm assuming they would now have to sit through a very long flight to Taiwan

 

I would LOVE if they made a second Hackers, except it's a buddy movie about the two of them: getting to know eachother over their flight, deciding to spend some time in Taiwan (a last sort of hoorah for Fisher Stevens' character), and getting involved in all sorts of misadventures

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Okay, a few things that didn't make sense in this movie:

 

1. The SWAT team nabs Joey for hacking into the Gibson and he only seems to be required to go to AA meetings as a punishment. Meanwhile, all Phreak does is be handed a copy of the floppy disk and he actually gets sent to jail. Joey physically committed the crime and he is able to walk free to only end up hacking Gibson yet again at the end of the movie.

 

2. The bet between Jonny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie was that if he wins, she wears a dress on their date. If SHE wins, HE wears a dress. Next day at school (after her spandex wet dream), she opens her locker to show Dade a pair of latex lingerie which she then says, "I wasn't sure what your size was" or something. I feel like she's referring to their bet here... which is about wearing a dress, not lingerie. Does Angelina Jolie's character not know what a dress is? Does this explain why her fashion sense is all over the place?

 

3. Angelina Jolie's "subway defense system" is a flare gun. Convenient to shoot security guards at mining companies, but HIGHLY inconvenient for the subway. Flare guns only have one shot. If someone attacks her on the train, given that she doesn't miss her ONE SHOT, the train is now full of smoke and fire, and you can't just leave a moving train.

 

4. What's the reason for the boyfriend character in this movie? Angelina Jolie's character could have easily just not had a boyfriend and the plot would not have been affected, period. The boyfriend isn't an obstacle at all for Dade to woo her. He was just there to make out with her, almost fuck her, then he was gone forever out of that penthouse window!

 

5. As a kid, Zero Cool (or Dade) is charged with crashing 1,507 computers or whatever and his family is fined $45,000 because of it. 11 years later, once Dade is finally able to use computers again, he's locked in his room hacking and his mom knocks on the door asking him to come eat dinner. Which he then says "Hold on, I'm hacking into a major television station". Her response to this is pretty much just an "Ok then". Bitch, do you not care that your son is reenacting what is probably the most traumatic part in your family's history? And that he's no longer a minor and will probably be charged with something much worse if he gets caught? The next morning all she says about it is "if you get caught, you won't get into college"!! As if that's the most important part!

 

I love this movie. 5 stars.

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Dang. One thing I failed to mention was about "Elite".

 

I feel like this may be the one thing that is accurate about this movie. Elite, which evolved into 31337, then shortened to 1337. 1337 = leet, as in leet-speak. The slang that hackers (or h4x0rz) speak.

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To Hummy Man -

 

I was sure Jason was going to mention Angelina Jolie's knockers within the first five minutes of the episode. With each minute I was getting more and more anxiety that he didn't mention it. "Was I remembering the movie wrong? Does she not show her boobs?" FINALLY with a minute to go in the episode Jason got into the titty talk. What gives?!? Was Jason under the weather? Tell him to get his shit together for the next episode that features tig ol' bitties.

 

E-dogg

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1. The SWAT team nabs Joey for hacking into the Gibson and he only seems to be required to go to AA meetings as a punishment. Meanwhile, all Phreak does is be handed a copy of the floppy disk and he actually gets sent to jail. Joey physically committed the crime and he is able to walk free to only end up hacking Gibson yet again at the end of the movie.

My take was that the secret service let him out of jail so they could tail him and find out where the evidence was (which is why Marc Anthony was kicking it outside his place).

 

I don't remember if it was explained or not, but I always felt like Joey's mom made him go to meetings. Doesn't it come up in the AA scene somewhere when he's denying that he's an addict? Or maybe I'm misremembering and don't give enough of a shit to rewatch it to see if I'm right or not.

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The company that they worked for was called "Ellingson Mineral" (hence the oil tankers), not "Gibson" as you all were mentioning. The "Gibson" was the name of the computer the hacker group were trying to take down.

 

Its sad how compelled I was to make that correction.

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A couple things:

 

A. The main character owns more than one life jacket as a fashion accessory

 

The reason for his giving a shit about a rooftop pool EXPLAINED!

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Since it's Thursday and we're all just really waiting for the mini-ep to come out, did anyone see the new Batman v Superman trailer yet? It's kind of awful.

 

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Since it's Thursday and we're all just really waiting for the mini-ep to come out, did anyone see the new Batman v Superman trailer yet? It's kind of awful.

 

I couldn't agree more. I never had any intention of watching it in the theaters, but was going to watch it when it came out on Amazon. Now--I'm not so sure I'm even going to do that. The whole thing just looks so doofy.

 

Here are my Thursday discussion points:

 

In Rankin and Bass' holiday classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Hermey the Elf tells his boss he doesn't want to make toys, but would rather be a dentist, at which point his boss flips his motherfucking shit. After some light psychological abuse, his boss then screams, "Now, listen, you. You're an elf and you make toys!" and then adds "Now finish the job, or your fired!" but... isn't that what Hermey wants? Is the concept of being fired different for elves? Are they going to literally set Hermey on fire? Guys! Are the elves going to straight up kill Hermey?!?!?

 

Screen-Shot-2012-12-24-at-10.16.02-PM.png

 

A couple other notes:

 

Apparently, between Christmases, the elves go through something called "elf improvement" in which they "practice" being elves. Am I the crazy one or does that sound insane? Does this make me a terrible person? Because I can say with certainty that I've never been to a single "Human lesson."

 

And finally, Santa is kind of a dick. The elves write and sing what is basically a laudatory psalm of praise for the big man in red and that motherfucker could not be bothered. Hey, dipshit, I know I may be risking a lump of coal here, but a simple "Thank you" goes a long way.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbxcHVmdJos

 

(I just introduced my son to this movie. It's been on non-stop. I have no one else to blame but myself, but seriously...Help me.)

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