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JulyDiaz

Episode 132 - Bloodsport: LIVE!

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Stan Bush who I've always loved for "The Touch" and "Dare" from The Transformers: The Movie soundtrack also wrote songs for Bloodsport AND Kickboxer. Most of the lyrics are pretty literal to their respective films, "mighty hands of steel" in Transformers, "Kumite, Kumite, fight to survive" in Bloodsport, and "crusin' down the streets of Siam" in Kickboxer, but I think it would be fun to do a roulette wheel of them and see how interchangeable they can be. At the very least, I'd like for Frank Dux to challenge Chong-Li to "The Touch".

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And yet, we never see Mr. Lin taking care of any other fighters but Frank and Ray. Sure you can say these are the only two guys he is overseeing, but Lin himself says he's in charge of "all North American fighters." Where are all the Mexican and Canadian fighters?! Once again, racist movie! ha.

 

I'd just go the other way with it and say that all the Mexican and Canadian fighters were too smart to get involved with the Kumite.

 

Or better yet their governments are better at keeping their trained weapons from sneaking out of the country.

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Anyone else see a weird irony, where Ray Jackson walks in on Dux doing the splits, and saying "You should be careful with that, you might want to have kids some day", and later, Dux does the splits, and punches a guy in the balls?

 

Just let that settle in, a guy who literally explodes bricks, punches a guy in the balls! People gave Chong-Li shit for killing someone, but he didn't resort to treating a ball sack like a speed bag.

 

I think that disregard for reproductive organs is what essentially won Dux the Kumite.

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Now the talk of low blows has reminded me of Keith Hackney, punching Joe Son (aka 'Random Task' in Austin Powers)

 

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Timecop is pretty good. Like, legitimately so. Probably too good for HDTGM? I re-watched a bunch of Van Damme movies in December-January and I was surprised at how decent it is.

 

But if they did Bloodsport, then they can do Timecop. Like Bloodsport is one of his best movies ever but it still resulted in a great episode. We Hate Movies podcast did Timecop for one of their eps, and likewise, it is one of their best eps.

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But if they did Bloodsport, then they can do Timecop. Like Bloodsport is one of his best movies ever but it still resulted in a great episode. We Hate Movies podcast did Timecop for one of their eps, and likewise, it is one of their best eps.

 

Maybe Timecop seems a bit too understated in comparison to Bloodsport for me. But sure, I'd gladly take a Timecop episode!

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The one audience member brought up t-shirts with the NY vs SF Giants but, did anyone else notice that one of the bullies beating up JCVD's now deceased Asian adoptive brother was wearing a Bartles & Jaymes t-shirt?

 

Man, those Bartles and James commercials were EVERYWHERE in the 80s. Those two old men that did them were like cultural icons back in the day.

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I'm hesitant to bring this up as I don't want to appear in anyway insensitive to a horrible, historical event, or in anyway make light of it, but I have an honest question regarding Mr. Tanaka's decision to emigrate to America.

 

In the movie he tells Dux, "In the war, I lost my first family--my son, daughter, and wife. They lived in Hiroshima. I left Japan because of the war. War was wrong. I came here to start over..."

 

Okay, I realize that this is going beyond the scope of just the movie and treading into deeper territory then we're usually accustomed. I also recognize this is something that I'm relatively sure many people did, but honestly, I don't get it. I get wanting to get away from the violence of war, but isn't Tanaka's decision to move to America kind of strange? It would be like if the US was at war with Canada, my home city was bombed--killing all my family and friends--and me thinking, "I need to get out of here! I guess I'll move to Toronto." I simply can't put myself in a position where my first, or even last, choice of places to move to is the same country responsible for my loved ones' deaths.

 

Again, I apologize if anyone finds this offensive, but it honestly gave me pause while I was watching the movie. I only ask because I'm ignorant on the matter, and if there's a logical reason why someone would make this decision, I really would be interested to hear it.

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Oh, I loved Nicole Byer since I saw her on Girl Code on MTV2. She is so damned funny.

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I can't listen to this at work. I listened to the first 10 minutes and couldn't stop laughing.

 

KUMITE! KUMITE! KUMITE!

 

#teamchongli

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And, the Mortal Kombat character, Johnny Cage was inspired by JCVD in Bloodsport, as you'll remember in the Mortal Kombat episode. Mortal Kombat was originally going to be a JCVD project, until he pulled out to, ironically, star in the Street Fighter movie, which then became it's own terrible game. But Johnny Cage wears the same outfit that Van Damme wears in Bloodsport, and even does the nut punch today.

 

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I was thinking the same thing when she said he inspired the Street Fighter character.

 

Fun fact about the "nut punch" move in that game. In the first few games, back when they were both in Arcade cabinets and home consoles, Johnny could only "nut punch" male characters. The reason they gave for that was that it seemed crass (In a game that rips people's spines out via their head/neck). I can't remember if people got upset because of it, or just thought it was stupid, but the move became universal in the later versions of the game.

 

CUNCH!

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Jason touched on it briefly, but Ray Jackson certainly feels like he was introduced as a villain. The two are never really seen bonding outside of video game sparring, but that was enough to rank up to BFFs. So much so that Jackson has full access to JCVD's room, where he can come in as he pleases and even stand on his bed. I thought Jackson was for sure going to get killed, and JCVD's reaction to his match seemed to reinforce that (again, a deep reaction for this perfect stranger). All of this could be brushed aside if not for the fact that he tells him that he loves him. "Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, if you ever need me, I'll be there." that I get, but "I love you, my friend"??? You just met this dude! It almost feels like there was a missing character that fused with Jackson. Like, what if Tanaka's son wasn't dead and traveled along to the Kumite (maybe even finding his fate at the hands of Chong-Li)? Or even just an established longtime friend when he arrives. The sappiness would make sense when applied to an actual "brother" figure.

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I was thinking the same thing when she said he inspired the Street Fighter character.

 

Fun fact about the "nut punch" move in that game. In the first few games, back when they were both in Arcade cabinets and home consoles, Johnny could only "nut punch" male characters. The reason they gave for that was that it seemed crass (In a game that rips people's spines out via their head/neck). I can't remember if people got upset because of it, or just thought it was stupid, but the move became universal in the later versions of the game.

 

CUNCH!

aCrPj2W.gif

 

And that is how Sonya Blade got pregnant with Cassie Cage

 

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if i may get abit sappy for a second:

 

i loved the movie

 

i loved the hosts

 

i loved the guest

 

i loved the audience

 

maybe im on a new episode high or something but i think this is one of my fav epsiodes ever

 

 

132 episodes in and you're still able to drop down into the splits and dick punch these awesome movies

 

 

 

great work HDTGM team

 

5vau0w.jpg

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Jason touched on it briefly, but Ray Jackson certainly feels like he was introduced as a villain. The two are never really seen bonding outside of video game sparring, but that was enough to rank up to BFFs. So much so that Jackson has full access to JCVD's room, where he can come in as he pleases and even stand on his bed. I thought Jackson was for sure going to get killed, and JCVD's reaction to his match seemed to reinforce that (again, a deep reaction for this perfect stranger). All of this could be brushed aside if not for the fact that he tells him that he loves him. "Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, if you ever need me, I'll be there." that I get, but "I love you, my friend"??? You just met this dude! It almost feels like there was a missing character that fused with Jackson. Like, what if Tanaka's son wasn't dead and traveled along to the Kumite (maybe even finding his fate at the hands of Chong-Li)? Or even just an established longtime friend when he arrives. The sappiness would make sense when applied to an actual "brother" figure.

 

That's because it's a love story.

 

You never see or hear about Dux with women before the reporter, and when he saves her from the bad dudes, she seems to think it's because he's into her, and he goes along with it because he thinks this is what straight people are suppose to do, even going so far as to sleep with her, despite the fact that he's got it bad for a guy who probably doesn't feel the same.

 

That scene where he says "I love you my friend." The reactions tell all.

 

"I love you my friend."

*Ray looks uncomfortable, realizing that Frank really does mean he loves him, but Ray is straight and he doesn't want to hurt his friends feelings*

"Me too."

*Frank looks hurt. He didn't say "I love you too." This was never meant to be*

*The Reporter looks confused, slowly realizing that Frank is actually gay.*

 

abVETf4.gif

 

Explains the friendzone bow at the end.

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I have a theory on Ray Jackson, and I've only just thought about it, even though I first watched it when I was around 5 or 6 (Grandmother would literally get us ANYTHING from the video shop).

 

Ray was a spectator at the previous Kumite, so he saw Chong-Li kill Tanaka's son, and he talks about how Chong-Li "Kicked the poor bastard in the throat, then he just stood there and watched him die". He says it with a slight tinge of sadness and perhaps disgust that a guy shows up to a tournament which is supposed to be about respect and honour, and kills a guy, and just watches as it happens, taking pleasure from doing it.

 

So, Ray then decides "Fuck this guy, I'm entering next year", hence him picking out Chong-Li and screaming "I'm gonna kill you!" at him. Because he saw him kill this guy in the tournament, and he wanted to take revenge on Chong-Li for the kid he saw getting killed.

 

So, Jackson bonds with Dux, because he's the representative of the guy he saw die, and he wants to see someone kick the fuck out of this guy who has effected his life by gleefully killing someone right in front of him

 

I doubt it is that, but it would explain why Jackson took to Dux so quickly.

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i thought she was amazing. for the first couple of minutes i thought she sounded alot like chelsea peretti.

 

think she just made it onto the all-stars team

 

I will not rest until Nicole and Chelsea play sisters in a Comedy Bang Bang episode.

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That's because it's a love story.

 

You never see or hear about Dux with women before the reporter, and when he saves her from the bad dudes, she seems to think it's because he's into her, and he goes along with it because he thinks this is what straight people are suppose to do, even going so far as to sleep with her, despite the fact that he's got it bad for a guy who probably doesn't feel the same.

 

That scene where he says "I love you my friend." The reactions tell all.

 

"I love you my friend."

*Ray looks uncomfortable, realizing that Frank really does means he loves him, bu Ray is straight and he doesn't want to hurt his friends feelings*

"Me too."

*Frank looks hurt. He didn't say "I love you too." This wasnever meant to be*

*The Reporter looks confused, slowly realizing that Frank is actually gay.*

 

abVETf4.gif

 

Explains the friendzone bow at the end.

 

Amy the Gorilla...I love you, my friend. This! Is! Amazing! This is either a homerun or a touchdown, depending on which Giants team you prefer.

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I love Nicole Byer! She was my fave on Girl Code!

 

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She's literally the best and I hope this sparks more people finding her comedy.

 

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I see people already posted the chase scene set to Yakity Sax, so I'll do you one better. Some lovely individual turned the chase scene in Bloodsport into a Mentos commercial, and it is wonderful. Whenever you're down or the world seems dark, watch this and feel a little bit better about everything.

 

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What do you mean, it's unmanly for a fully grown adult to be seen in public playing a video game arcade machine?

 

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I rest my case.

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Despite Lin's excessive expository dialog explaining the rules of the Kumite (which basically amounted to "punch and kick each other as brutally and in any way you want to until someone finally stops moving...and sometimes, even after that"), there is one rule I'm still a little fuzzy on...

 

In Dux's first fight with Hossein, he knocks him to the ground with a single kick. He is immediately declared the victor and World Record holder for fastest win in the Kumite. While this is happening, Dux stands over Hossein and gives him the old "Crocodile Dundee subduing a wild animal" stare and then quickly takes his victory bow. While his back is turned, Hossein then leaps up and attacks Dux, and is--once again--soundly defeated. Okaaaay....now I'm confused. When Chong Li was put to the mat in his fight with Jackson, and the exact same scenario played out, he was on the ground for much longer than Hossein. So assuming it's legal to get back up after your opponent has put you to the ground, and if they want to, they can still get up and attack you while doing your victory lap, does Dux really deserve to hold the "World Record?" Since Hossein didn't concede (i.e. say "matte"), technically, the fight was still on.

 

Revoke that shit!

 

#kumiterecordasterisk

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Amy the Gorilla...I love you, my friend. This! Is! Amazing! This is either a homerun or a touchdown, depending on which Giants team you prefer.

 

Definitely a touchdown.

 

giphy.gif

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Despite Lin's excessive expository dialog explaining the rules of the Kumite (which basically amounted to "punch and kick each other as brutally and in any way you want to until someone finally stops moving...and sometimes, even after that"), there is one rule I'm still a little fuzzy on...

 

In Dux's first fight with Hossein, he knocks him to the ground with a single kick. He is immediately declared the victor and World Record holder for fastest win in the Kumite. While this is happening, Dux stands over Hossein and gives him the old "Crocodile Dundee subduing a wild animal" stare and then quickly takes his victory bow. While his back is turned, Hossein then leaps up and attacks Dux, and is--once again--soundly defeated. Okaaaay....now I'm confused. When Chong Li was put to the mat in his fight with Jackson, and the exact same scenario played out, he was on the ground for much longer than Hossein. So assuming it's legal to get back up after your opponent has put you to the ground, and if they want to, they can still get up and attack you while doing your victory lap, does Dux really deserve to hold the "World Record?" Since Hossein didn't concede (i.e. say "matte"), technically, the fight was still on.

 

Revoke that shit!

 

#kumiterecordasterisk

 

There's a slight split second where you actually see Chong-Li wave the referee off, so the fight wasn't over. With Dux vs. Hossein, the fight was called.

 

 

Check at 0:56, Chong Li was only on his knee.

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