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Episode 11 — The Tourist

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When you pair two superstars like Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp, what's the worst that can happen? Apparently it's The Tourist. Jason lucked out and missed this movie, but Paul, June, and special guests Natasha Leggero and Gil Ozeri are here to discuss the bad accents and lack of chemistry that fill this Golden Globe nominated film. Be sure to check out the newly redesigned Earwolf website where you can buy the Ridiculous Cage shirt and donate to help buy us a new studio. We promise not to spend it on plastic surgery.

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Pretend that Alexander Pearce looked exactly like Nicolas Cage before the $20 million in plastic surgery. I find the movie to be MUCH more enjoyable this way.

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Pretend that Alexander Pearce looked exactly like Nicolas Cage before the $20 million in plastic surgery. I find the movie to be MUCH more enjoyable this way.

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Thanks for enduring this movie; I'd been looking for an excuse to watch it. You guys could've gone on for at least another 1/2 hour... wish you had!

I'm only 1/2 way through, but saw an actor I like in one brief solo scene (Rufus Sewall), but with only 40 minutes left to go he has yet to reappear - another dropped plot point.

"Slow Boats on the Water."

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There was a Woody Allen film with Tea Leoni around 2001 or 02 where he goes blind from stress and directs a movie blind. And in the end the film ends up being a monster hit in France. The director of The Tourist is German. I'm sure he feels he made the exact kind of film he wanted. I think the lesson is many Europeans like fucked up movies.
Speaking of which I suggest you guys do the movie Swimming Pool by director Francios Ozon from 2003 starring Charlotte Rampling and Ludivine Sagnier.

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So great! (the podcast that is) I've been listening to the podcast since it came out, and this is the first time I was able to see the movie before it was picked apart. I listen regardless, but I appreciate the redbox movie every once in a while!

"Is it behind this bookshelf?!"

"What about THIS bookshelf?!?!?!"

"WHAT ABOUT THIS BOOKSHELF!?!?!?!?!"

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All of your guests have been fun so far, but my god do you ever need to have these two back some time. I love Jason too, and thought the episode wouldn't be as good without him (and maybe it wasn't), but it's definitely my favourite episode now, on what is probably my new favourite podcast.

PS I think I'm glad the WTF moment is gone - the show seems to be actually smoother now with less structure and more room to freely express all the wild disbelief.

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All of your guests have been fun so far, but my god do you ever need to have these two back some time. I love Jason too, and thought the episode wouldn't be as good without him (and maybe it wasn't), but it's definitely my favourite episode now, on what is probably my new favourite podcast.

PS I think I'm glad the WTF moment is gone - the show seems to be actually smoother now with less structure and more room to freely express all the wild disbelief.

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Great podcast. Just wanted to add that Johnny Depp won a Teen Choice Award for Choice Movie Actor: Action for his work in the Tourist!!!! So I guess the Tourist is an action comedy now?

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My first thought when watching this movie, was that it was produced by someone who loves words like "glamour" and "pageantry" ... and I hate those people.

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Finally, you guys cover a movie I already sat through in the theater ... almost as good as getting my money back. I'm so heartened that Natasha had the cojones to admit she finds Angie creepy and I hereby dedicate this picture of "20 million dollar of plastic surgery" to her:

 

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I swear that's Susan Lucci.

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Was listening to old episodes when I revisited this one. Natasha Leggero was one of my favorite guests.

 

To answer the question "Do guys find modern day Angelina hot?", that would be "sort of". Purely looks wise she's beautiful, but her bland trying too hard psycho chick attitude ruins any appeal.

 

Anyway, I had no idea how old she actually was and assumed mid to late 40s given the desperation of the plastic surgery and all the talk in the episode how her hair was too long for her age. Then I just found out she's only THIRTY-NINE! Meaning when this episode and movie were made she was only in her MID-THIRTIES.

 

Damn, she's 2nd to Lindsey Lohan for looking way beyond her age. A distant 2nd, but 2nd none the less.

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To answer the question "Do guys find modern day Angelina hot?", that would be "sort of". Purely looks wise she's beautiful, but her bland trying too hard psycho chick attitude ruins any appeal.

For me it's the weight loss. Look at her in something like Gia (hubba). Was there anything to improve? She just looks so breakable now. She's been somewhere between "on the thin side" and "frighteningly gaunt" for a solid decade now.

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I still have a ridiculous crush on Hackers-era Jolie

 

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I mean...GOOD LORD

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Oh my, this movie. I have to admit, I have always loved Angelina Jolie. I was 12 when Hackers came out and I'm not exaggerating when I say that every single repressed gay thought that I had before that terrible, amazing movie, pretty much came bubbling up when I saw her in it. I came out and told my friends I was bisexual because of that woman and I have been a big fan ever since. My fangirl love of her has changed though, I still admire her but she's too thin now and it's the kind of thin that provokes concern more than anything.

All that being said, she was fucking terrible in this movie and no amount of love can make me deny that.

The thing is, if you had told me in 2003 that these two were going to do a sexy movie together, I would have been very excited about this movie. However it came out later, when she stopped being sexy and was full blown skinny humanitarian Jolie and he... well, he looks like a skeevy dirtball. Seriously, he's gross now, and whatever charisma and charm he had seems to have left him. I know many would disagree with me, but I think he's one of the most unappealing movie stars right now.

The one good thing I can say about this movie is that they look age appropriate for each other I guess.

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Don't ruin this for me by bringing in Star Trek's Worst Vulcan Ever!

 

Although now I'm hoping somewhere out in the multiverse there's an alternate version of Enterprise where Angelina Jolie got the T'Pol role.

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