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Julia

Best Howard quotes and questions

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Let's post our favorite quotes and questions uttered by the hilarious Howard Kremer on Who Charted?

If possible, post the episode number it appears on as well, so people can find that specific quote if they like.

I'll start...

In today's new episode, Episode 27, Howard said, "College has been great. You call me Afrojack from now on!"

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"Are you an Iowa guy (what would that even mean)?"
ep.09 w/matt besser

i love that howard calls himself out immediately after saying that

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"In summation... I don't know what."

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Went back and listened to Episode 22. Here are some quotes from that episode to add to the list...

Of course, there is the classic Howard phrase: "Old people be hatin'."

Being from NJ, I really enjoyed this quote from Ep. 22: "Jersey will bring the dirtbag out of anyone."

Other things that made me laugh in Ep. 22:
1. "If you had a child that resembled a pro wrestler, what choice would you make? Would you inform the child about it or mums the word?"
2. "You do bring sass out of the customers, I think."
3. "I'm lost again. It happens, even on my own show."
4. "Your dad's still with us in human form."
5. "I read that to make a podcast popular you should say controversial things."

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THE HK RENEWAL PLAN: "We renew and then we do."
(From Ep. 28's Bonus Chart)
Kulap: "How much do you work out, Howard?"
Howard: "Well, what I do, I don't really call it a workout."
Kulap: "What do you call it?"
Howard: "It's a renewal. It is a..."
Kulap: "Ah, timeout. What does that mean? Is that you peeing in the morning after you get up?"
Howard: "No, no. It is in the morning. But it consists of stretching, exercising, singing, and getting buck."
Kulap: "Getting buck?"
David Koechner: "What's buck mean?"
Kulap: "Wild."
Howard: "You know when a bird like flaps its wings to get rid of excess energy? It's kinda like that. You just kinda go nuts. It's like krumping. You know what krumping is."
Kulap: "I love it. I love it. I love it."
Howard: "I can't wait 'til this one hits the shelves. Hank is, some people call him Howard, Hank is in great shape."

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"Don't do work, have a Summah!" - Howard "Hank" Kremer

Totally gonna live my this the rest of my life, even in my fucking windy goddamn Buffalo winters.

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Aimee Mann said in Ep. 29 that Paul F. Tompkins once called her 'Memento', because she forgets things so much. To which Howard replied...
"And what name do you call him back? Suit Magoo?"

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"Is there any sound of a body organ you have used in any of your music?"

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"You do bring sass out of the Customers, I think." And "- Who is our next customer?"

:D

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I think my favorite Howard Kremer quote is not from Who Charted, but an old Comedy Death Ray Radio ep. They were discussing asians and Howard said something to the effect of "How do Asians breathe anyway? Is it some sort of a gill system?

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CHAI TEA MORNING LYRICS (Ep.31)
"A chai tea morning it was...
I usually go green
I usually have green tea in the morning
I usually go green
I usually have green
I usually have green
I usually have green
What a chai tea morning it was."

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"I don't care if machines wanna take over the Earth, just don't make so much noise, right?"

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