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DudeExclamation

Rollerball (2002)

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This movie features the following:
-Chris Klein's acting
-An extreme sport with inexplicable rules and stupid looking athletes (with names like "Skullface" and "La Guillotine")
-LL Cool J as the cool, black best friend
-A plot that makes virtually no sense
-Jean Reno with a Russian accent
-A 10 minutes chase scene filmed entirely in night vision with goofy sound effects
-Rebecca Romijn-Stamos-O'Connell with a Russian accent (and nudity)

This movie is laughably bad. And it's wonderful. Mix with beer for a great time.

ALSO! It's a whopping 3% on Rotten Tomatoes. Boom.

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This movie is especially bad when you consider it was made decades earlier with a fraction of the budget, no WWE influence, and a message that wasn't beating you over the head. Why they thought adding Starlight Express-style sets makes no sense when it would have worked if they kept it as a more violent version of roller derby. The night vision scene is insane and the director should have been fired the second the idea came out. The only other notable thing in this movie is that it is the only time I have seen LL Cool J die in a movie, since he has survived instance of almost being eaten by sharks, shot in the head, and attack by Michael Myers.

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The night vision scene was fucking bonkers, because there's NO set-up or reason for it at all. I haven't seen this movie in a decade or so, and I don't remember much of it, but I still remember THAT. They're driving around in a van or something, right? I thought at first that maybe it looked that way because that's how the inside of the vehicle was lit, but then the next few minutes look like that too. In a movie full of gimmicky bullshit, why use it here? I could totally see it being used nowadays in a found footage movie, like in "Chronicle" or something like that, and it might make sense. Here, it's just so fucking weird, because it's the only time they do anything different. I remember watching this the night before it came out at my theater and thinking we'd better post a sign telling people that this was supposed to happen, because I figured we'd have people complaining that something was wrong, but no one ever complained. Then again, no one really came to see "Rollerball" anyway...

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They were on a motorcycle and Jean Reno chased after them in his jumbo jet. Can't forget that scene etched into my brain due to heavy crappiness.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DE-a7WYJShE

 

After some controversial choices lately, this movie is just a big dumb loud piece of shit that I think everyone could enjoy.

 

- bad acting trifecta: Chris Klein, Rebecca Romijn(-Stamos) and LL Cool J

- Jean Reno, as Jean Reno in anything that's not The Professional

- a Nu Metal soundtrack

- directed by John McTiernan?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DE-a7WYJShE

 

After some controversial choices lately, this movie is just a big dumb loud piece of shit that I think everyone could enjoy.

 

- bad acting trifecta: Chris Klein, Rebecca Romijn(-Stamos) and LL Cool J

- Jean Reno, as Jean Reno in anything that's not The Professional

- a Nu Metal soundtrack

- directed by John McTiernan?

 

limp bizkit soundtrack. Good enough for me. I think we can all get on board for this "film"

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I could see this happening, they should just invite Rebecca to be the guest. I can't imagine there's anyway she doenst already know this was a garbage movie.

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The night vision scene was fucking bonkers, because there's NO set-up or reason for it at all. I haven't seen this movie in a decade or so, and I don't remember much of it, but I still remember THAT. They're driving around in a van or something, right? I thought at first that maybe it looked that way because that's how the inside of the vehicle was lit, but then the next few minutes look like that too. In a movie full of gimmicky bullshit, why use it here? I could totally see it being used nowadays in a found footage movie, like in "Chronicle" or something like that, and it might make sense. Here, it's just so fucking weird, because it's the only time they do anything different. I remember watching this the night before it came out at my theater and thinking we'd better post a sign telling people that this was supposed to happen, because I figured we'd have people complaining that something was wrong, but no one ever complained. Then again, no one really came to see "Rollerball" anyway...

 

 

I fell asleep towards the beginning of this movie and woke up during the night vision sequence and legitimately thought I was hallucinating.

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For me all you had to do was say Jean Reno is in this movie and I am sold on it.

 

btw I do love Jean Reno as a actor. he's great in "the big blue".

 

he's got a line of eyewear out now, I wish I was joking. Because when you think of fine eyewear like me you think of Jean Reno..

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For me all you had to do was say Jean Reno is in this movie and I am sold on it. btw I do love Jean Reno as a actor. he's great in "the big blue". he's got a line of eyewear out now, I wish I was joking. Because when you think of fine eyewear like me you think of Jean Reno..

 

 

Honestly whenever I picture Jean Reno I always picture him in those round sunglasses he wore on the cover of the Professional.

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I would love to hear the HDTGM team tear this one apart.

 

Street leuge (or however it is spelt), the night vision sequence, crazy sound effects and Chris Klein channeling Ted 'Theodore Logan' levels of woodenness.

 

Failing that I second the motion for Freejack or Highlander 2

 

Peace out.

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This flick helped ruin John McTiernan's directing career, as after this and Basic with John Travolta the next year, McTiernan would eventually go to prison for his connection to the Anthony Pellicano wiretapping case.

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For some reason, didn't Harry Knowles have some minor thing to do with this one? I seem to remember this or some shitty action flick of the time where he had some notes or input after a set visit or something, it got used, and then it amounted to absolute jack shit. I could be wrong, maybe it was someone else, but it seems to stick out in my mind as a thing that actually happened.

 

Edit: I just looked, and it seems as though his early review of Rollerball was pretty toxic (hardly a controversial statement), which actually caused a delay of the release for some tinkering or something, and ultimately it meant nothing, as the film was STILL a piece of shit and was probably going to be one no matter what.

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The movie "Rollerball". Made is 2002 about a violent sport in 2005. The budget was $70,000,000 and grossed less than $19,000,000.

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This flick helped ruin John McTiernan's directing career, as after this and Basic with John Travolta the next year, McTiernan would eventually go to prison for his connection to the Anthony Pellicano wiretapping case.

Just discovered this today. What a bonkers fucking thing that was. Hopefully they do this movie just to get Blake's behind the scenes work on it.

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I fully support this pick!!!

The ROLLERBALL remake is one of the most incomprehensible action films I've EVER seen. The way it cuts, the the transitions from scene to scene, the entire way this fucking movie MOVES is mind boggling. Not the mention the script, the acting, the sets, the music... it is the definition of a fucking mess!

 

It will probably give others a headache, but I love watching this trainwreck.

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So I was watching the TV the other day and I came across a rollerskating movie with lethal consequences. Thinking that this was a 80's era Cannon film I paused to patiently await the tits and just under belly button bush that I know would be my reward. Then suddenly I was treated to Chris Kline of American Pie and LL Cool Jay. That's when I hit the wiki to find that this movie was made in 2002!!!

This movie has consumed me, How did a roller skating movie get made in 2002? This movie is more then just a bad movie, it is a bad concept, its bad dialogue, bad set design, bad editing, im sure the script was written in comic sans, simply put this movie is the culmination of many bad choices leading to a cinematic this masterpiece that is 30 years past its due date. Its like a production team from Communist Romania where trying desperately to capture the feel of a 1970's film that was smuggled into their country.

 

Please please please help me to understand how exactly this movie was made.

 

Thanks

Taylor

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I believe that the guy that acts as the announcer in this film went on to host, "Info-wars"

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I believe that the guy that acts as the announcer in this film went on to host, "Info-wars"

Nope, not Alex Jones, but rather current WWE manager Paul Heyman. Also the writer of this movie seemed to realize how bullshit the Rollerball game was by having Heyman spend a few minutes trying to explain the rules before abruptly stopping and telling the audience, "aw fuck it, you guys don't care about this shit."

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Am I crazy or doesnt the night vision scenes last for like 20 minutes? For me the only reason id argue against this movie is that I wouldnt wish a viewing of that portion of the movie on anyone.

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The film that brought down John McTiernan. I believe it was during this film that McT hired Pellicano to wiretap producer Chuck Roven.

 

A shitty film made all the more shittier by taking down the greatest action director of all time.

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