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Exit Wounds (2001)

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I'm going to just list the top billed actors and let you make a judgment based solely on that - Steven Seagal, DMX.

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I think the thing that makes me want to hear this one is the fact that The very first scene is Steven Seagal rescuing the president from terrorists. What an insane movie.

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I don't remember a whole lot from this one aside from the "Steven Segal stops a bunch of dudes from messing with his truck by trashing like eight vehicles that belong to people we don't know that don't matter" scene. Yeah, not a scratch on your ride, but some poor bastard is missing a windshield and has a mangled corpse on the front seat. Thanks a lot, asshole.

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I remember this as being one of the couple of movies where DMX teamed with some action star (Seagal, Jet Li) and Tom Arnold. Easily the worst acting pairing since Stallone and Schneider.

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Has there been a Steven Seagal movie on HDTGM yet? He has a whole catalogue of mock-worthy movies. If you want to start with this one, hey, go right ahead.

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On 4/25/2017 at 5:19 AM, SlidePocket said:

Let's give this a bump here!

Yes sir!

I think HALF PAST DEAD has a way better premise (New Alcatraz + Ja Rule being thrown left and right), but EXIT WOUNDS is way more fun and entertaining.
This is part of the Andrzej Bartkowiak rappers/cops/fights trilogy with the equally fun CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE and the horrible ROMEO MUST DIE.
It has the same recurring actors, the same style, (almost) the same songs.

But EXIT WOUNDS takes the cake because of Seagal. The way he fights, speaks, smiles. Let's throw in wire work (which makes him even less believable) and it's gold.

It made me think so much of DEN OF THIEVES - plots and characters keep coming and coming even one hour into the movie. The cast is incredible (like Eva Mendes completely dubbed). The characters make no sense (the anger issue is never really explained but allows Seagal to DESTROY a table). And my favorite weird moment: a character recognizing a talk show on Tv and yelling the host name for no reason ("Henrrrrryyyyyyy!" like he's encouraging him OVER THE TV).

And guys, it has the CRAZIEST end credits of all times - an improv session with Tom Arnold and Anthony Anderson that is beyond comprehension - so offensive, so racist, with THE CREW actually LAUGHING OUT LOUD (fun fact : HALF PAST DEAD also has a non-sense credit scene with Mo'Nique and CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE has Arnold and Anderson doing it again).

PS: Please someone explain why there's a 5 minute sequence where DMX and Anthony Anderson buy a car.
 

 

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If Cradle 2 the Grave was playing on T.V. and someone switched the channel to Romeo Must Die, it would probably take me a good half an hour to figure out it was a different movie I was watching. 

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On 8/10/2018 at 9:36 PM, Ofcoursemyhorse said:

If Cradle 2 the Grave was playing on T.V. and someone switched the channel to Romeo Must Die, it would probably take me a good half an hour to figure out it was a different movie I was watching. 

Completely agree.  Only reason I can tell those two from this is Seagal. But if Never Die Alone is on, I wouldn't know wtf movie I'm watching

 

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