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Episode 142.5 - Minisode 142.5

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Watched God's of Egypt today. It was hilarious for all the obvious reasons, white actors playing Egyptians, terrible writing and CGI.

 

It felt like watching the cutscene in a video game.

My thoughts exactly! Gods of Egypt reminded me a lot of Sucker Punch in that regard. I could have been watching someone play Prince of Persia on xbox. It's set up like a game -- there's different levels filled with smaller enemies (give chase to the guards! avoid the statues and steal the treasure! there's even a mine cart stage) that lead to boss fights.

 

I mean, there's absolutely no attempt at versimllitude or reality at all, from the Anglo actors to their wildly differing accents (Welsh? Aussie? Liam Neeson impersonation?) to the depiction of Egyptian pyramids as some kind of Death Star battle fortress with robot security guards. So it's hard to fault the movie for its nonchalant racism -- is that a cop out? Maybe, but Gods of Egypt is so disarmingly dumb and eager to please that it achieves a sort of charm, not unlike a dog that keeps dropping a toy in front of you, even though you're not in the mood.

 

Plus, do any of y'all really need an excuse to watch Nikolaj Coster-Waldeau for 90 minutes?

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I hope his work on Game of Thrones eventually leads to better films than this; he's been killing it for years in foreign language films like Nightwatch (1994, so good!) and the excellent Headhunters.

 

I'll be very surprised if the lead actor (generic nobody Brenton Thwaites) isn't referred to as "bobo Orlando Bloom".

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Plus, do any of y'all really need an excuse to watch Nikolaj Coster-Waldeau for 90 minutes?

 

Gimme Mads Mikkelsen instead.

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Gimme Mads Mikkelsen instead.

Enjoy.

 

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Gimme Mads Mikkelsen instead.

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Sorry, Auden. I don't know how to make it smaller.

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Gimme Mads Mikkelsen instead.

 

tomspanks... Have you seen "The Hunt"? That movie is a great drama! 10/10 for me

 

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Sorry, Auden. I don't know how to make it smaller.

:D Aww, you are sweet. No worries. I know you would if you could.

 

For people who want to see Mads' bare butt, check out Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky. At least, I think it's his butt and not a body-double's.

 

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Plus, do any of y'all really need an excuse to watch Nikolaj Coster-Waldeau for 90 minutes?

nikolaj+coster-waldau+11.jpg

I hope his work on Game of Thrones eventually leads to better films than this; he's been killing it for years in foreign language films like Nightwatch (1994, so good!) and the excellent Headhunters.

 

tumblr_m8kaognS2n1qcf0ef.gif

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With all the CG they used in this movie, does anybody else feel that this movie would have been better with a CG Charlton Heston as the lead?

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tomspanks... Have tou seen "The Hunt"? That movie is great drama! 10/10 for me

 

I'll get right on it! It'll be a good palate cleanser after Gods of Egypt.

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I'm boycotting Adult Swim because of what they did to Brendon Small and Metalocalypse.

 

I kinda agree but, Tommy Blacha moved on. We should as well.

 

Also for gods of egypt I kinda wished that Meshach Taylor from mannequin 2 would have been Thoth

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tomspanks... Have you seen "The Hunt"? That movie is a great drama! 10/10 for me

 

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The Hunt was incredible, and I don't say that lightly -- if it were an American film, Mikkelsen would have won a Best Actor at the 2012 Oscars. So hard to watch, impossible to turn away from. My only beef was

the optimistic ending, which I feel was somewhat unrealistic? Perhaps not though, in a smaller Danish town. I feel like the guy would have been burned at the stake in the US.

 

 

With all the CG they used in this movie, does anybody else feel that this movie would have been better with a CG Charlton Heston as the lead?

99% of this movie is completely CGI, so why the hell not? Do actors in movies like these even mo-cap their own stunts? This must be the easiest gig there is, literally everything is made up in post-production.

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I'd definitely say it's a lot easier now with CGI as movie makers now know what they are doing for the most part in regards to CGI, unlike in the 90s when it was starting out and actors had no idea where to look or how to interract with what was going to be added later. Though motion capture is basically the same as acting, just now in an uncomfortable body suit and those little beads they put everywhere to make your face match properly, video games like Last of Us, Until Dawn, and L.A. Noire are prime examples.

 

As for this movie, I was amazed at how bad the CGI was for most of it, especially making the gods look larger than humans which just came off as awkward looking. Hard to imagine that this had a 140 million dollar budget with how cartoonish the graphics are for the majority of the movie.

 

Also, this movie does not need to be over two hours long, good lord does it drag on.

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I'll get right on it! It'll be a good palate cleanser after Gods of Egypt.

I wouldn't classify this movie as a "palette cleanser". You'll want to watch some Hannibal crack vids after, you know to lighten with mood with MurderHusbands and #casualcannibalism

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(I know this is large but it was the only way to read the text)

 

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Hannibal humor is my fave kind of humor.

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You'll want to watch some Hannibal crack vids after, you know to lighten with mood with MurderHusbands and #casualcannibalism

This reminds me of the strange flower crown meme and the cast's appreciation of their fans.

 

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I found out that Mads voiced this little guy in Moomins and the Comet Chase (it's now on Amazon Prime!).

 

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Alexander Skarsgård, Stellan Skarsgård, Max von Sydow and Peter Stormare are also in the movie. I think it's sweet that these actors lend their voices to the beloved but not all that lucrative Moomins.

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Alexander Skarsgård, Stellan Skarsgård...

I don't know who these people are... OH! The Skateboards! Yes that dynamic family!

 

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I don't know who these people are... OH! The Skateboards! Yes that dynamic family!

 

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The Skateboard acting dynasty!

 

Oh man we need to ask PFT what Alexander's autocorrect name is so we can address him properly.

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The Skateboard acting dynasty!

 

Oh man we need to ask PFT what Alexander's autocorrect name is so we can address him properly.

Alexander....maybe if you forgot a few letters and it turns into Elixir Skateboard?

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Sorry for the double post but we have a new addition to the Skateboard acting dynasty!

 

Meet Ball Skateboard

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I've been having an astronomically "meh" day...and then I saw this!

 

 

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Watching gods of egypt - I'm not usually one to join the chorus of "how dare they cast [white actor] for [non-white character]", but I'm only 14mins in and this is getting ridiculous. This is egypt ffs, and gerard butler is... well, in this movie. Hotdamn, this one's a mess. Also, I was pretty sure that thief with the woman was a "before/back then" type character, and now I have the bad feeling pretty boy is going to be crucial to the plot. not since rubber-lipped gemma arterton in clash of the titans have I had such a bad reaction to someones looks in a movie...

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I have to wonder if the makers of this movie thought, "people won't mind we cast white people as Egyptian gods, because we have a couple hundred clones of Chadwick Boseman in a scene, so it equals out."

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This go around I'm going with something that I just recently rewatched and still have an amazing time laughing at all the ridiculous parts.

 

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Notable for being Aaliyah's last movie which was released after her death. In all honesty I still think she's the best part of the whole thing and wish she had more screen time than Marguerite Moreau.

I caught this by accident at like 1 am on a movie channel because I saw Marguerite Moreau and she was my favourite Mighty Duck. To this day, when I see Stuart Townsend's name, I immediately replace it "Uma Thurman's ex". The only other thing I know him from is League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (which I unironically love)

What about Gustaf and Valter? (I honestly didn't know there were so many Skateboards until this article)

Goblet and Baldur?

Would you rather: watch this or troy thrice?

Question, thrice in a row? Either my way answer is:

Option B. Troy thrice.

It came out when I was in early puberty. It was a formative experience for me so this movie is very dear. Eric Bana can get it all day erry day.

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