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Episode 144 - Stealth

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The very hilarious actor/writer Charlie Sanders (Key & Peele, Facebook at UCB-Franklin) joins Paul and Jason for a boys club episode of How Did This Get Made? in which they discuss the 2005 action film Stealth. They'll cover everything from Jamie Foxx's untimely demise to the sentient robot plane's emo music playlist. Plus, for the first time ever we hear Kid Reviews for the movie during 2nd Opinions!

 

 

 

Come see us at the Now Hear This podcast festival: nowhearthisfest.com

Get yourself a BB-8 “What Is Its Mission?” T-shirt or Tote Bag over at http://howdidthisgetmade.bigcartel.com

Where to Find Jason, June & Paul:

Paul, Jason and June appear in a new animated pilot BAD GUYS on Adult Swim watch and vote here http://adultswim.com/misc/pilots/

Paul’s new comedy Filthy Preppy Teen$ is now avail on the FullScreen and you can see June and Paul in their old show NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU. Paul also appears on Fresh off the Boat on ABC.

June stars in Grace and Frankie on Netflix, as well as Lady Dynamite alongside with Jason.

Jason can be seen in How to Be Single, Sleeping with Other People, and is still indeed in The Dictator.

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I bet I can guess why it costs so much to make. Probably because they paid to use a real aircraft carrier with real military personnel (can you imagine how much it must cost to have an Aircraft Carrier running each day?).

 

This was filmed on the Aircraft carrier CVN 72, an aircraft carrier that I was stationed on when I was in the Navy from 2007-2011. And let me tell you how much pride some of these chiefs onboard had for being involved in this terrible movie, hell most of them had and kept shitty props from the movie or had mugs and t-shirts from it. Some even had pictures of them with the crew from the film (not the actors, literally random crew members with indifference stamped all over their faces while this cheif stood next to them smiling). If that was the end it would have been fine but when you are out to sea there is not much to do besides go to one of the gyms onboard or watch one of the 3 movie channels on the ships TV system ran by the media department who chose all the movies played all day and you wouldn't believe how many times they played this terrible movie and Top Gun!! It was insanity.

 

The two things that give me PTSD episodes would have to be fresh linen febreeze (they used it on everything all the time) and this fucking movie.

 

Also my job on the ship was a Sea Combat Air Controller and I was training to be an Air Intercept controller. Both jobs consisted of me Infront of a radar and talking/controlling these fighter jets and let me tell you they really can just tell you to fuck off up there (not that they do it much) but since I'm enlisted and they were all officers I didn't give them orders I would advise them on what to do on their mission and they did what they wanted, but almost all of them always listened and followed what I said to do.

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Also since they were both brought to life by lightning can we please get a sequel involving Johnny 5?

 

Jason can play Ben.

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paul mentioned this was shot on an actual carrier and the issue of painting the navy in a good light was raised.

 

alot of the military movies that use actual military hardware have to get clearance by the military first to ensure its not portraying a negative image. if they deem it is then they will refuse to allow access to their goods (thats fair enough i guess, they own the stuff). this goes all the way back to wings. it gets abit messy when they start to demand changes to scripts ... but that's a different discussion. (and i think they get to use it all for free)

 

anyway, i had a feeling it was going to be abit of an advert for the navy when i opened up my 25 cent copy of the dvd. there was a leaflet inside giving the dvd chapter listings but on the same leaflet there was an advert for ...

 

1zeyw68.jpg

 

...the royal navy. this is a UK/Ireland version so that's why its the royal navy but i wonder if this was used in other dvd regions for their navys ...

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and on the back cover of the dvd (yeah, i'm really getting my 25 cents worth out of this dvd) it listed the dvd extras ... usually it lists a directors commentary or a making of featurette or if its an old or a crappy movie you might just get interactive menus listed as an extra but on this it just had 2... both music related .. an incubus video and a "music of stealth" featurette.

 

so after it, cough, bombed (see what i did there???) at the box office they really thought the music would sell this movie to the dvd audience ... but after sitting through 2 hours of it already i couldn't bring myself to watch them so i can't tell you if they are worth a view

 

280tzde.jpg

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I identified the real villain of the movie. The Chief of Naval Operations who is in charge of guiding the Navy's budget (according to a 2 second google search http://www.navy.mil/submit/display.asp?story_id=93038). He was obviously trying to be penny wise assigning only one person, Sam Shepard, to be in charge of two separate experimental aircraft programs at the same time. The Talon is so rare there are only 3 on Earth so obviously getting that program going is a full time job. And then he is made responsible for EDI too? The poor guy was probably working 90 hours a week and ended up committing suicide via voicemail.

 

I can't believe Paul brought up all the apples but didn't mention the scene where Sam Shepard is essentially speaking through an apple while talking to Joe Morton.

 

There is a lot of wasted time in this movie but was there any point at all in setting up Orbit as the eccentric rich genius? It felt like he must have had more of a story line that got cut.

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I can't say that the movie depicts the navy in a good light. Literally every person is disobeying their orders at every point, and then get congratulated for it instead of being court marshaled and dishonorably discharged.

 

Favorite line in the movie that isn't about peepee: "There's no blood in those quantum veins! An A.I. can't black out!"

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Hey people new to the forum. As chunkstyle pointed out the real villain is in fact the chief of naval operations in this flick but let's extrapolate that out. Sam Shepard, a high ranking naval officer commuted suicide in the line of duty on the USS Lincoln. The minimum amount of damage would be a PR nigh,are for the Navy. At worst however we have a full blown expose on the government leaked to the public on their, I can't stress this enough, super highly confidential and experimental plane program. Leaking gross government spending on A.I. Planes amongst other taxpayer money holes. Not only are these things now laid bare to the U.S. But also the world now knows classified American Intel, which is especially terrifying seeing as the after credit sequence has made it clear that EDI is not only in tact, but functioning enough to turn back on amongst the wreckage of the plane in fucking Noth Korea. That's right the North Koreans are now fully in charge of EDI and I'm sure have very little qualms of collateral damage against us. That's the real sequel right there Tin Man coming back to take revenge on us all

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Actually suicide on a ship is more common then you'd think. I guess being out to sea for 6-12 months isn't good for you.

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I can't say that the movie depicts the navy in a good light. Literally every person is disobeying their orders at every point, and then get congratulated for it instead of being court marshaled and dishonorably discharged.

 

 

yeah i suppose it depends on how you look at it. the 3 main characters were shown a couple of times refusing to attack because there would have been massive civilian casualties. and the two characters that caused all the problems, the captain and the AI plane, ended up dead at the end. (or did they ... post credit scene was clearly indicating they were planning a sequel).

 

there was also alot of "hey ... look what we can do" kinda stuff in it without any real questioning of military actions around the world .. but the world was different back then even it was only 11 years ago. i think its as soon as film makers start asking questions that they run into trouble. but again ... probably a discussion for another place ...

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I had many problems with this movie, but I just want to take a moment right now to point out how much I hate the title of this movie. Granted something like "Murderplane" wouldn't really work with a hundred million plus budget movie, however aside from the fact the planes are "stealth" fighters nothing about this movie or any of their missions are stealthy. The first mission starts off stealthy but that's blown by Josh Lucas flying down the road and hitting a building. The second mission in Tajikistan they wasn't really stealth because the terrorist saw them coming and they were fired on almost immediately. Then after they start fighting each other Josh Lucas's plane loses stealth with half the movie left to go, and before the final mission EDI says that he too has lost stealth capabilities. This all leaves me asking "why 'Stealth'?" Surely there could have been a better name. So I throw it out to you good people of the forums and the cast of HDTGM, what would a better name for this movie be?

... Boy I really felt like Paul at a live show there.

 

Also, sadly in Japan it's just called Stealth but you know all Japanese-y "Suterusu"

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(or did they ... post credit scene was clearly indicating they were planning a sequel).

 

 

There was a post-credits scene?!? I'm so sorry I missed that. Usually I sit through credits, but by the end of this movie I had hit my threshold for shitty Incubus songs. Please tell me it was Jamie Foxx's corpse being uploaded with EDI's consciousness.

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Couple of comments about this movie:

1- For all its supposed ability to learn, EDI makes wild assumptions based on noticing something once. Josh Lucas disobeyed an order on a very specific situation and suddenly EDI decides that it knows the right time to disobey orders. That computer would see someone flip a coin once, and it would be 100% certain that all coin filps land on heads.

 

2- Those pilots are so good, I'm not sure they need a ground crew. Jessica Biel and Josh Lucas can fly this ultra-rare new plane, and in the meantime, they can also make those advanced calculations to determine the effect of the wind on nuclear fallout and how many people would die if the building fell on its side from the cockpit of their fighter jet in an instant.

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There was a post-credits scene?!? I'm so sorry I missed that. Usually I sit through credits, but by the end of this movie I had hit my threshold for shitty Incubus songs. Please tell me it was Jamie Foxx's corpse being uploaded with EDI's consciousness.

you didnt miss much .. i only saw it by accident, but yeah, they were definitely planning a sequel

 

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yeah i suppose it depends on how you look at it. the 3 main characters were shown a couple of times refusing to attack because there would have been massive civilian casualties. and the two characters that caused all the problems, the captain and the AI plane, ended up dead at the end. (or did they ... post credit scene was clearly indicating they were planning a sequel).

 

Ugh! The post credit scene! Where would the sequel have gone? EDI learned remorse and feelings. He bonded with Josh Lucas and learned the importance of friendship and teamwork. His final act was to sacrifice himself to save his team mates because that's what you do. This makes it seem like he'd be a good guy come the second movie, and like Chuckstyle said earlier he wasn't the real villain of this piece. Yet the post credit scene makes it seem like he was evil and coming back. Are we to assuming crashing wiped his memory or something?

 

On top of all that he's in North Korea who are technologically behind so they couldn't just build a plane and put him in it or wipe his memory. Not unless they secretly sell him to Russia and they have their own Keith Orbit to build and reprogram the AI. Then they send it attack American targets. The Pentagon and top military brass think it's just a new hot shot Russian stealth pilot so they send in their own hot shot pilot, Josh Lucas! He starts a dog fight with this pilot and thinks to himself "Boy this guy is good and his moves are just like mine." That's when one of his shots goes wide and hits the cockpit to reveal nothing inside "What the?" Josh Lucas cries out, "EDI?" Then a deadpan "Da svidahna Talon 1." can be heard followed by warning of incoming missile lock. BOOM! So long Josh Lucas say hello to REDI! Stealth 2: Red Skies!

 

I take back all previous statements. A sequel could have been awesome.

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I haven't listened to the episode yet, but I just wanted to chime in a say I saw this in theaters and thought it was horrible then. I was 19 and really just went for one reason: Jessica Biel's butt. That thing is on point during this era.

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I mentioned in the music thread that I love Incubus unironically, but honestly, I can't defend that love. In 2005 they were my favorite band. In 2016 they are not my favorite band despite having a special place in my heart. Although "Morning View" is maybe one of the few albums that I revisit on a weekly basis.

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Great jaerb,

 

I missed about 10 minutes of the early portion of the podcast after the discussion of the pilots' seating position just staring at my stereo in disbelief that no one made the leap from sky kayak to "skyak". If only Pete Holmes had been on this week. Then again if he had been I would have missed the 10 minutes anyway from him guffawing at his own joke.

 

Thanks fellas.

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i was abit confused as to why they would take a holiday half way thru the movie too ...my guess it was the marketing guys way of getting jess in a bikini and for josh to take his shirt off. it was either a trip to a waterfall in Thailand or a game of volley ball on a beach somewhere. but i think thats been done .. just can't remember where???

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This movie seems to think that the DMZ is like the border between Canada and the US:

  • We are told that Jessica Biel crash lands just outside the DMZ, within scampering distance to the border. Which means that there was a giant explosion in the sky near one of the most tense, tightly controlled and heavily monitored places on this planet and nobody notices. Not the villagers, not the North Koreans not the South Koreans.
  • Even after Jessica Biel lands safely and unnoticed on the ground of North Korea she is spotted by the North Korean military and yet only ever chased by a couple of NK officers. They don't notify their superiors that a person from a foreign military is within their borders headed in the direction the DMZ, they just purse her themselves.
  • After of all of that they inform us that South Korea is an ally (just in case you weren't sure), which apparently means that we get to show up to the border with their mortal enemies unannounced in weird never before seen planes, fire missiles at the border, explode another plane and hitch a ride out with the South Koreans and nobody will care.

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Here's my idea on the Sequel based on that post-credit sequence:

 

EDI is plugged into the North Korean "internet" Kwangmyong and reads all of Kim Il-Sung's writings and decides to overthrow Kim Jong-Un and seize his title as Eternal President as the reincarnation of Kim Il-Sung. Josh Lucas must reenter NK to remind EDI of their bromance and convince him (through the power of Incubus) that they were once bros and what he is doing is wrong.

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Omg how is this godawful second opinions theme back from hell? Even jason said its unlistenable. It hurts my ears. I would never complain about the show like this but whoever does that side of the engineering can we please just delete that file already? Ffffffffffffffffffffffffff

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I would definitely agree with Jason's point in that the cast is actually quite good in this movie and all pretty damn charming. I think they saved it from being a complete disaster and barely kept it afloat.

 

It kind of flip flopped halfway through for me, where I thought the premise was interesting but the pilots were oddly annoying, and then when it got all bonkers around where they try to stop EDI, I realized that the cast was the best part. Also, I forgot how much of babe Jessica Biel is, holy COW. Which again leads into a point they all made, which is the scene of her ejecting was actually decently intense and well acted for someone who was likely in a moving chair surrounded by green screens.

 

It's too bad the move around the 3 leads is such garbage, they actually deserve better than this schlock bro crap.

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CORRECTION: After your call for suggestions for a 1985 movie to do, I started to look for some good ones, but as I looked at Wikipedia, realized you'd already done a 1985 movie: Gymkata in ep. 70, a live episode with Michael Showalter. Was it a different year that you guys haven't covered, or does this mean that you guys have knocked out more than a 1/4 of the 20th century?

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