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Episode 153 - Escape from L.A.: LIVE!

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Sorry for the post avalanche but GUYS DID I MENTION I LOVE JOHN CARPENTER?!?!

 

I know there is a lot of garbage nonsense in Escape from LA but I would take it over several of the gloriously over-the-top mentioned in this podcast like Crank or Face/Off. Hell, I will also take Escape from New York York over movies I love like Con Air or even most of the Fast and Furious movies. I know and understand why this might be a miserable watch for many people, but John Carpenter leftovers are my precious jewels.

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This is something I have known about for a long time but I never really got it. It's not really in the furry camp as it is dinosaur on human, I just can't place who it's really for. It always reminds me of the PFT bit about the sexy bee Halloween costume.

 

There's literally not enough time in the day for me to explain the erotic pleasures bursting off the pages of Pounded by Pachycephalosaurus...

real book

 

 

Apparently Yeti and Bigfoot erotica is also a huge market.

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I laughed really hard at the Blake thing. It's something that 99% of the time is a garbage idea, but it worked here. It sucks they took too long to get the joke.

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There's literally not enough time in the day for me to explain the erotic pleasures bursting off the pages of Pounded by Pachycephalosaurus...

real book

 

 

Apparently Yeti and Bigfoot erotica is also a huge market.

I can see that. They seem like they'd be cuddlers.

 

I guess this begs the question, and I dread the answers, but if you want to be intimate with an extinct or mythical creature what would it be? I would pick giant sloth.

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I can see that. They seem like they'd be cuddlers.

 

I guess this begs the question, and I dread the answers, but if you want to be intimate with an extinct or mythical creature what would it be? I would pick giant sloth.

 

I can't answer that because then it might not come true.

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RE: American Spirits. As a former smoker I can attest that American Spirits have always been white like [almost] any other cigarette. I think the cigarillo he smokes at the end is a reference to Clint Eastwood's "Man with No Name," on which the Plissken character is no doubt based.

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ok, it's a terrible movie but i kinda enjoyed the awfulness. i'm not sure i would have if i didn't have a HDTGM episode to look forward to at the end of it though. i just kept thinking "they are going to tear this movie apart and i can't wait for it" .. and i loved the ep.

 

but i have alot of questions so i'm just going to dump them all in the one post:

 

- escape from NY was set in 1997 and escape from LA was set in 2013 ... 16 years ... 16 years and snake is still wearing the same clothes? what are those clothes made of? i have a pair of jeans that are 2 years old and if i sit down in them once more i'm going to get arrested for indecent exposure, so how are his clothes still in one piece? and they must stink

 

- stacy keach puts blanks in snakes gun cause he knew he was going to try and kill him .. ok ... but what if he didn't .. what if snake just went into LA with the blanks, got attacked and then tried to shoot his way out of it ... this would have been a much shorter movie

 

- why does everything move so slow in this movie .. cars, bikes, horses, helicopters, tsunami ... i like the idea that they shot everything slow thinking they would speed it up in post and then at the premiere realised "oh that's what we forgot to do"

 

- i know nothing about guns so i am open to correction .. but if you're in a glider, floating on the wind, and you shoot an automatic weapon ... is there not a recoil from those things? ... surely as soon as you start shooting you're at least going to struggle to go in a straight line but these guys are as graceful as a butterflies, dancing from flower to flower.

 

 

 

ok, all of those are petty when you take the movie as a whole but here is a big thing for me. i mean i have more but i should just wrap this up ...

 

so snake had to go into LA, get the device back from and then kill ceurvo, then get back to the medics withing the time frame so he can get the antidote or he'd die, which is fine. but after the basketball scene, when everyone runs out of the stadium, snake causes an explosion, then attacks cuervo, knocking him out cold, takes the black box, gets a massive gun and shoots at everyone except ceurvo, and then he heads off to the sewers (see edited gif) ... on the version i watched this happens at around the 63 min mark .. why didn't he just shoot ceurvo when he had the chance? it would have saved us 40 mins but more importantly (and this is from cam bert's amazing timeline post) it would have saved snake over 3 hours ... and considering he thought he was going to die if the clock ran out that was a pretty major error from snake ... one he remakes later before he takes off in the helicopter ... the exact same thing ...

 

giphy.gif

 

btw, why didn't he take one of the motor bikes that were just sitting there ... snake's alot less cooler when you start looking at these movies a little closer ..

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Sorry for the post avalanche but GUYS DID I MENTION I LOVE JOHN CARPENTER?!?!

 

I know there is a lot of garbage nonsense in Escape from LA but I would take it over several of the gloriously over-the-top mentioned in this podcast like Crank or Face/Off. Hell, I will also take Escape from New York York over movies I love like Con Air or even most of the Fast and Furious movies. I know and understand why this might be a miserable watch for many people, but John Carpenter leftovers are my precious jewels.

 

One of us! One of us!

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Forgot to mention this. Eddie tells Cuervo Jones that he killed Snake and that his body probably ended up at the drain. So Cuervo tells Eddie to go there and bring him Snake's head. We do see Snake emerging from the sewers only moments to surf the tsunami. While he's surfing, the wave catches up to Eddie's car, which is also going the same direction as the wave, which means he was driving in totally the opposite direction of his destination. For someone who claims to be an expert of the LA streets, he was way off.

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I guess this begs the question, and I dread the answers, but if you want to be intimate with an extinct or mythical creature what would it be? I would pick giant sloth.

 

A merperson - but with a fish top half.

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I'd like to hazard a guess as to why June wanted to see Batman vs. Superman. Despite her Memento-like recollection of most HDTGM movies, it seems that the ones she truly loves are embedded in her consciousness like Grease 2. It's possible she saw a trailer for Ben Affleck in a superhero movie and was reminded of how much she loved Daredevil. (Speaking of, I hope June wasn't too crushed when Affleck and Jennifer Garner split up!)

 

As for Escape from L.A., I LOVE IT MORE THAN WORDS CAN ADEQUATELY DESCRIBE. This episode was a struggle for me because of how much I love - NAY, ADORE - this movie. I genuinely can't understand how anyone could watch it and not love how ridiculous it is. Steve Buscemi in a zoot suit. Delightfully godawful special effects. Characters giving emotional rallying speeches who are then immediately shot in the chest. PETER FONDA SURFING THE VIADUCTS OF LOS ANGELES. I know a lot of people are complaining that this is a silly remake of Escape from New York, but look, Force Awakens ripped off Episode IV entirely and managed to make a gabillion dollars. This movie does the same, but I can't see it as anything other than an intentional move by (brilliant, slightly nuts) John Carpenter to make fun of the action movie genre. And if you need more evidence that it's a satire, I'd like to again point out that PETER FONDA SURFS THE VIADUCTS OF LOS ANGELES.

 

Guys, I love this movie.

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btw, why didn't he take one of the motor bikes that were just sitting there ... snake's alot less cooler when you start looking at these movies a little closer ..

 

Sorry to C&O your C&O, but how can he do that without the key?

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- stacy keach puts blanks in snakes gun cause he knew he was going to try and kill him .. ok ... but what if he didn't ..

 

I had the same question. He doesn't even say he "knows" he would try that, just that he "thought" he'd try to shoot them--which, honestly, is just above "feeling" like he might try something. Why not have him say something like, "Do you really think we didn't know you were going to do that? We have a psychological profile on you thicker than a dinosaur's dick." Are they really going to risk the entire operation on a hunch?

 

Also, at that point, why even hand him a loaded weapon at all---loaded with blanks or not? It's all going in the turbo sub anyway. Why not just stow all that stuff away until he's actually in LA?

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I believe we've talked about this before long ago, but I am a massive Carpenter fan as well. Now, I won't ask you to pick your favourites of all his work, but of his five collaborations with Kurt Russell how would you rank them? For me I would The Thing at the top no hesitation, but second is a toss up for me between Escape from New York and Big Trouble in Little China. I think Big Trouble might just edge it out though. Then Elvis and Escape from LA last.

 

It's gotta be Escape from NY, The Thing and Big Trouble in Little China at the top. Honestly, though The Thing was my solid number one Carpenter of all time for a while, I don't know that I can choose between the three now. I'll say Big Trouble in Little China, then The Thing, then Escape from NY, it's a real tough call though. Next would be Escape from LA and They Live tied for fourth. That's how much love I've got for Escape from LA! Haven't seen Elvis yet unfortunately.

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I've got nothing to add besides that I love this movie. I suppose it's something like Stockholm syndrome, since my parents had the first movie on vhs and I watched the thing so many times as a youngster that the sequel was of course equally as good to me.

 

In either case, Roger Ebert liked the movie as well, so maybe I'm not crazy.

 

Regarding the pay wall, I'm super bummed. I was introduced to the show by a coworker sharing an old episode, which I've then done to friends who became fans as well. That freedom is gone now. I donate, but I suspect I won't be subscribing.

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In either case, Roger Ebert liked the movie as well, so maybe I'm not crazy.

 

He also liked The Phantom Menace, for whatever that's worth.

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I believe we've talked about this before long ago, but I am a massive Carpenter fan as well. Now, I won't ask you to pick your favourites of all his work, but of his five collaborations with Kurt Russell how would you rank them? For me I would The Thing at the top no hesitation, but second is a toss up for me between Escape from New York and Big Trouble in Little China. I think Big Trouble might just edge it out though. Then Elvis and Escape from LA last.

 

1. The Thing, which is also the greatest the horror film of all time. Just a perfect film.

2. BTILC

3. Escape From NY

4. Elvis

5. Escape from LA.

 

I pray they make one more film together, preferably a straight action film or western, before we lose one of them.

 

While we are ranking films, here are my Carpenter rankings ( he is my favorite director of all time as well):

 

1. The Thing

2. Halloween

3. Assault on Precinct 13

4. They Live

5. Starman

6. BTILC

7. Escape from NY

8. Christine

9. The Fog

10. In the Mouth of Madness

11. Prince of Darkness

12. Memoirs of an Invisible Man

13. The Ward

14. Escape from LA

15. Vampires

16. Ghosts of Mars

17. Village of the Damned

(Never saw Elvis, Dark Star or Body Bags)

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In order to make sense of this movie, there are many threads that have to be accounted for.

 

First, as has been mentioned, Snake is conspicuously terrible at his job. Not to mention, since everyone knows him, his mission isn't very secret. In the first movie, he was a covert attempt to get around the hostage-takers' demands that there be no rescue attempt. Here, it's obvious why Snake has been sent, so why not just send the whole army?

 

Second, and less-explored in the podcast - Cuervo Jones does not seem to understand how to be a bad guy. He has created a convoluted murdersport whose purpose is to tease victims with false hope before they are shot. So when Snake beats his arbitrary game, Cuervo acts as if he doesn't know what to do. YOU MADE UP THE GAME, CUERVO. You're not going to be fined if you just shoot Snake anyway.

 

Also, his plan is to capture the magic button that can destroy the world, and then use it as blackmail so that he can overthrow the government with his rebel army, which is a way slower and costlier way of conquering the world when you already have a button you can conquer it with. That's not how blackmail works, he's basically saying "Let us destroy you, or else I'll destroy you". YOU'RE A BAD GUY, you shouldn't be reluctant to use power to achieve your goals.

 

Third, as had been mentioned, it was implausibly careless of the President to make his Kill Everything device not only be unsecured enough to be stolen by his daughter, but so generic looking that it could be switched with an audio tour. So what could explain all this?

 

I believe that this has all been orchestrated by the President himself. Being a religious radical obsessed with the apocalypse, one earthquake isn't enough to satisfy him. And just exiling sinners isn't enough. He clearly has a Rapture fetish and is trying to jumpstart the process by running Snake Plissken through an elaborate simulation of his previous adventure in New York, knowing exactly how Snake will behave at the end.

 

As evidence in support of this theory - the video game "Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty", in which the franchise's hero is named "Solid Snake" and uses the name Plissken as an alias, the entire adventure is revealed to be a simulation of a previous adventure orchestrated by an evil American President. I rest my case.

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Escape From New York IS pure gold and I'm blown away there isn't more love here. Disappointed in everyone but Fister, AbeFroman, & Cam Bert. I also question D'arcy's taste in men, because as a straight married man, even I want to fuck Kurt Russell as Snake.

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I believe we've talked about this before long ago, but I am a massive Carpenter fan as well. Now, I won't ask you to pick your favourites of all his work, but of his five collaborations with Kurt Russell how would you rank them? For me I would The Thing at the top no hesitation, but second is a toss up for me between Escape from New York and Big Trouble in Little China. I think Big Trouble might just edge it out though. Then Elvis and Escape from LA last.

 

I know you weren't asking me, but I'd rank mine just the same, only I'd drop LA and add The Thing a second time for good measure.

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exclusive picture - it's jason mantzoukas' dvd collection

 

108hd1l.jpg

 

he's too cool to put his own movies in there

I agree he doesn't have his own movies. But I question the lack of Gilmore Girls.

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