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JulyDiaz

Episode 155 - Airborne: LIVE!

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In defense of Mitchell's parents, maybe it's not so much that there are no schools in Australia, but that they were planning on living Dian Fossey-style amongst the wombats in "the Bush" (is that correcy my Australian brethren?)

 

In their attempt to get the wombats to accept them as one of their own, they couldn't exactly have their air headed teenage son blundering about barefoot defining what "stylin'" is to the local koala population, could they?

 

Of course, a line of dialog or two to clear this up probably would have been helpful...

 

Wombats are fucking viscious as hell, you can't get anywhere near them, particually if their burrow is nearby. That would be a great addition to this film though, if he got a phonecall halfway through the movie telling him that his dipshit parents were murdered by wombats and then he has to overcome his grief by rollerblading.

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As an Australian currently living in Canada but seriously considering relocating my family back to Australia later this year

 

 

I'm still stuck here in this sunbaked excuse for a country and I can attest to how shit it still is. I would consider staying in utopian Canada no matter how cold, at least until the LNP is voted out.

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i didn't know what the dog film Danielle and Kumail were talking about so i looked it up. there are actually 5 movies called airborne .. 6 if you include firebirds which is apparently also know as airborne somewhere

 

nz4qys.jpg

 

i kinda want see the sean bean / steve guttenberg movie

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also turns out this was the Icon logo when it started out. I can see why they ditched it after 2 years.

 

2WBgeK6.gif

 

I don't know where they got 'elf' from though, it hasn't got pointed ears. From the halo, wings and sword I'm guessing it's the Archangel Michael who is common in Orthodox icons.

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i didn't know what the dog film Danielle and Kumail were talking about so i looked it up.

 

They were confusing it with Air Bud which is a pretty famous terrible 90s movie about a basketball playing dog.

 

Air_bud_poster.jpg

 

There's also like a Earnest-level number of sequels to it.

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Oh no, I love Canada - my kids are Canadian, so am I now. We just want to go back to Australia for a bit to give the kids a chance to spend some time with their grandparents before they get too old (both kids and grandparents). We'll be back in Toronto, 100%.

 

You should apply for one of those wombat study grants.

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i found this vhs cover. the pull quote is abit eye catching so i guess it's doing it's job ...

 

51WZ0RR9NJL.jpg

 

so i googled it to see who wrote it and i found it in the seattle times: http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.com/archive/?date=19930918&slug=1721607

 

i think jeff liked it but this section caught my eye:

 

As a showcase for the popular sport of Rollerblading, "Airborne" joins a long list of perfunctory teen-oriented movies which capitalize on the latest trendy pastime. The plots are interchangable, with razzle-dazzle mastery of the chosen sport being the top priority.

"On Any Sunday" was a good documentary about motorcycling; John Milius' "Big Wednesday" hung-10 on the surf scene; "Gleaming the Cube" stuck Christian Slater on a blazing skateboard. . .and the list goes on, all the way up to the recent "Surf Ninjas." Now, "Airborne.

 

i wonder if jeff suggested this double bill on twitter

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They were confusing it with Air Bud which is a pretty famous terrible 90s movie about a basketball playing dog.

 

Air_bud_poster.jpg

 

There's also like a Earnest-level number of sequels to it.

 

Dog-dog!

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Apparently Shane McDermott (Goosen) also ran for office down in Galveston. I don't really know what "Navigation District" entails but that's what he was running for. I don't think he won.

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Yes, your use of 'bush' is correct - much better than the always-incorrectly-used 'outback'. The thing is, wombats don't live in crazy arid or deserty or isolated areas: they live mostly in Queensland and New South Wales, in fairly temperate locations, so Mitchell would likely have a great time.

 

Okay, I'll concede that the area of Australia in question might not be the Mad Max-esque cacotopia I imagine the entire continent to be, but that doesn't change the fact that if Mitchell's parents are going to truly assimilate into the wombat hierarchy they're going to have to make some drastic lifestyle changes. First of all, they'll have to learn to poop in cube form (thank you, Tomspanks and Cam Bert for that bit of trivia). And secondly, as wombats are fossorial creatures, I'd imagine the Goosens will have to adapt to a life lived underground, and I think we can all agree that subjecting their obviously "Airborne" teenage son to such a fate would just be cruel.

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Apparently Shane McDermott (Goosen) also ran for office down in Galveston. I don't really know what "Navigation District" entails but that's what he was running for. I don't think he won.

 

I saw that too.

 

The Navigation District is a little known government board comprised of three elected officials who oversee the maintenance of the Pelican Island Bridge with taxes collected from Galveston Island property owners east of 103rd Street.

 

He wanted a better bridge.

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He wanted a better bridge.

You have to run for office just to make sure the bridge is kept up??? That seems dumb.

 

And it looked like only 4 people ran which means everyone else got elected except him lol.

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Breaking news: I've just uncovered a rare image of the Goosen family on one of their important wombat-related research trips.

 

See here: http://imgur.com/a/4sIJm

 

 

Okay, fine, that's me and my family meeting a wombat last time I was home in Australia, with Mitchell Goosen faces added to protect the innocent.

 

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Someone needs to photoshop the 'loveslave' girl and Al Pacino into the Fifty Shades of Grey poster.

 

I think the Pacino she was envisioning was probably from Sea of Love (1989), which I have not seen but recall Paul saying it was a sexy movie in either the Fair Game or Colour of Night episode.

 

The Pacino in my heart will always be Heat Pacino though.

 

hankazaria-heat.gif

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the dream explanation made me laugh. "The Goose" (i like to think Goosen was a little nod to Goose from Top Gun. i mean it's not but i like to think it is) has a dream about riding a wave and getting attacked by a shark. he explains that the wave was Nikki and the shark was her brother Jack.

 

in ireland (and im sure in alot of other places too) "to ride" someone means to have sex with them. as in .. "They were riding each all night" ... meaning they had alot of sex that night. So he had a dream that he was "riding" Nikki and Jack attacked him for doing so.

 

I'm with Jack on this one. whenever little punks started dating my baby sister (shes 32 now i should probably stop calling her that) this was my typical reaction ..

 

get-off-my-sister-friends.gif?w=500&h=275

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Breaking news: I've just uncovered a rare image of the Goosen family on one of their important wombat-related research trips.

 

See here: http://imgur.com/a/4sIJm

 

 

Okay, fine, that's me and my family meeting a wombat last time I was home in Australia, with Mitchell Goosen faces added to protect the innocent.

 

 

At first I was like, you have a fully grown adult son???

Wombats are legion, but also, I had no idea they were huge! Did you get to see any of their cubed poops?

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At first I was like, you have a fully grown adult son???

Wombats are legion, but also, I had no idea they were huge! Did you get to see any of their cubed poops?

Oh yeah, the dork in the middle (wombat wrangler and lab assistant to the Goosens) isn't a member of my family, hence my not being fussed about his identity. I didn't spend any extended time digging around in the giant wombat's scat so I didn't notice cubed poop, sorry. Not all of them are this big: it depends on species. There was a popular TV show in the 80's (Aussies back me up) called A Country Practice which very prominently featured a pet wombat named Fatso. It was more the size of a medium sized dog.

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As an Australian currently living in Canada but seriously considering relocating my family back to Australia later this year, I can attest that this is a consideration, but not a roadblock. Australian schools have a different schedule, yes, so there'd be some adjustment, but the number of American kids who showed up in my high school for a term or two because their dads were in the state to work on the mines (okay, there were two. Two American kids) suggests that this isn't so hard. Of course, they were social outcasts because of their accents and silly phrases, but generally they did fine academically.

Two of my friends from college were brothers that lived in Australia as kids. Their parents moved over there for work when the oldest brother was about 10. They totally loved it and look back on it as an almost 5-year vacation they got to take as a family.

 

Anyway, with all this talk of the different school years and stuff, I have a question that's been bugging me. Are we to believe that Mitchell starts school on the first day (or first few days) of the school year? When he goes into speech class, they are giving introduction speeches about themselves. That would indicate it's the beginning of the school year, right? There's no fucking way a teacher's going to be like, "Hey, now that it's almost Christmas, let's get to know each other through expositional lists of character traits."

 

So that would lead one to believe that it's the beginning of the school year. But when Mitchell flies in, there's snow on the ground. The best data I could find suggests that the average first snowfall in Cincinnati is November 28. And the earliest recorded snowfall was October 19. Then, I looked up the data on snowfall in Cincinnati from 1993, and the first snowfall was on October 30 that year. Assuming this movie was set in the year it came out, that would mean it's almost Halloween (at the earliest) when this class is FINALLY getting to know each other.

 

This teacher should not have his fucking job. At all.

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Two of my friends from college were brothers that lived in Australia as kids. Their parents moved over there for work when the oldest brother was about 10. They totally loved it and look back on it as an almost 5-year vacation they got to take as a family.

 

Anyway, with all this talk of the different school years and stuff, I have a question that's been bugging me. Are we to believe that Mitchell starts school on the first day (or first few days) of the school year? When he goes into speech class, they are giving introduction speeches about themselves. That would indicate it's the beginning of the school year, right? There's no fucking way a teacher's going to be like, "Hey, now that it's almost Christmas, let's get to know each other through expositional lists of character traits."

 

So that would lead one to believe that it's the beginning of the school year. But when Mitchell flies in, there's snow on the ground. The best data I could find suggests that the average first snowfall in Cincinnati is November 28. And the earliest recorded snowfall was October 19. Then, I looked up the data on snowfall in Cincinnati from 1993, and the first snowfall was on October 30 that year. Assuming this movie was set in the year it came out, that would mean it's almost Halloween (at the earliest) when this class is FINALLY getting to know each other.

 

This teacher should not have his fucking job. At all.

Now THAT's a freakin' C+O.

 

My only defence of the teacher might be that in 'speech' class, this module has something to do with personal biographies, and that the syllabus has been set up in such a way that they're asked to re-introduce themselves to each other.

 

We all know, though, that it's just a lazy screenwriter (and part-time actor as the teacher) who's getting all the get-to-know-you exposition done in the first five minutes Goosen's at the school, only to be DESTROYED by Fister's logic.

 

I personally blame the set dressers who felt they needed to put snow on the ground to show the difference between California and Ohio. Without that, I could buy that this was the first week of September, given that he's surfing with his buddy in what looks like summer vacation (although it could be a weekend).

 

Which brings us to ANOTHER question.

 

If Mitchell is in Ohio from October to April (maybe), then:

 

a) it makes sense that it's hockey season in an outdoor rink;

b ) does it make sense that they're playing street hockey and having races in what must be no earlier January but no later than March? (Cincinnati locals chime in please);

and c) why are the Goosen parents going to research a wombat in the depths of Australian summer when it's 40 damn degrees celsius in the shade and probably the worst possible time to be looking at marsupials?

 

Goosen says when he fights Blaine and Jack in the Denny's that he only has three months left, so that gives us a sense of time passing, but if that's the case, we have to assume that it's January or February. But the entire double date is about wandering next to the river in light coats. But according to this site: http://www.usclimate...states/usoh0188 the average January high in Cincinnati is 39F, or not far above freezing. Not adding up, guys.

 

We're through the looking glass now folks. Tread lightly.

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Two of my friends from college were brothers that lived in Australia as kids. Their parents moved over there for work when the oldest brother was about 10. They totally loved it and look back on it as an almost 5-year vacation they got to take as a family.

 

Anyway, with all this talk of the different school years and stuff, I have a question that's been bugging me. Are we to believe that Mitchell starts school on the first day (or first few days) of the school year? When he goes into speech class, they are giving introduction speeches about themselves. That would indicate it's the beginning of the school year, right? There's no fucking way a teacher's going to be like, "Hey, now that it's almost Christmas, let's get to know each other through expositional lists of character traits."

 

So that would lead one to believe that it's the beginning of the school year. But when Mitchell flies in, there's snow on the ground. The best data I could find suggests that the average first snowfall in Cincinnati is November 28. And the earliest recorded snowfall was October 19. Then, I looked up the data on snowfall in Cincinnati from 1993, and the first snowfall was on October 30 that year. Assuming this movie was set in the year it came out, that would mean it's almost Halloween (at the earliest) when this class is FINALLY getting to know each other.

 

This teacher should not have his fucking job. At all.

 

While these are all good points, my argument would be maybe it's not the start of a new school year, but the start of a new semester. I used to have classes, particularly electives, that didn't run the whole school year. Maybe that's what's happening?

 

ETA: But, yeah, I agree. The teacher should still 100% be fired.

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ETA: But, yeah, I agree. The teacher should still 100% be fired.

 

He can't be fired. HE WROTE HIS OWN EXISTENCE.

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He can't be fired. HE WROTE HIS OWN EXISTENCE.

 

So, wait. This guy has the opportunity to write himself a role in a motion picture and he chooses "incompetent Speech teacher?" Nice.

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