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JulyDiaz

Episode 156 - xXx: Return of Xander Cage: LIVE!

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Just throwing it out there that Deepika Padukone is 31 not 19. Vin is 49. So, a huge age difference but it seems practically acceptable considering the next oldest woman was 25.

Those are age differences and not their actual ages.

 

ETA: bella_008 has beaten me fucking twice in this thread. I'm sure you're a great person, but I will destroy you.

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Correction:

 

The whole way Xander was killed off in the first sequel that Paul was describing was a deleted scene. In it, he wasn't being hunted or anything, but he just gets out of his car leaving some random chick as he goes into a shady looking building which I'm assuming is just another place where Xander is living in some extreme sport squatting den, and once he's inside the top couple floors blow up, this is followed by the patch of neck skin that had the XXX tattoo on it fluttering to the ground while still slightly burning. In the actual movie one of the agents is talking to an underling who has reported on the assassinations of various XXX agents, and they off handedly mention that Xander was killed in some far off island getaway, and that's it.

 

Now I myself have not seen this hunk of Monster Energy drinking bullshit, but one thing I remember from the trailer was seeing Ruby Rose make a shot from some suped up bungee ring while hanging from a tree. That just made me mad in breaking it down, because as soon as the shot goes off from within a dark environment, the flash would give her location away to any guards looking for her, not to mention if there wasn't a suppressant on the rifle. So the last thing that she would want it so be wrapped up in a cumbersome hanging rig while people are actively looking for you and shooting.

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I am fucking fascinated by that interview Vin Diesel did with the Brazilian youtuber.

 

296ujhU.jpg

 

Was he rolling on molly or something? That woman was really pretty, but his reaction was so bizarre! Are we to assume that this is what happens *every time* he meets an attractive woman? This has to mean he was doing this on the set of Return of Xander Cage at last half the time, or whenever he was shooting a scene with Nina Dobrev or the other women.

 

Is "Beautiful World" a place from one of Vin Diesel's D&D games?

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One of the audience members brought up this line, but I wanted to discuss it further. Xander Cage says that he was doing the numbers to figure out where exactly between North Korea and China that the soldier would land if he was flushed down the toilet on the plane. His numbers involved air velocity divided by distance. Right off the bat, that makes no sense, as the "distance" part is the unknown and shouldn't be in his equation. Secondly, he probably meant "speed" (of the plane) instead of "air velocity," since that has nothing to do with his question. Speed is distance divided by time. Xander Cage's equation would give you an answer of 1/time, which is useless in this situation. Assuming that the plane is traveling in a straight line at a constant speed, you divide that by the time it takes for the soldier to hit the ground, and you'll have the distance that he will have travelled from the drop off point. If we assume the plane was already at cruising altitude and speed and if we assume the soldier takes 3.5 minutes to hit the ground, yadda yadda yadda, he will land about 32 miles from the drop off point.*

 

Having said that, there's no need to go all Hidden Figures, because the soldier will land somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. The route from the Philippines to Detroit goes nowhere near North Korea and China, as that would mean they were heading straight North from the Philippines. As they seem to be in a hurry to get to Detroit, it's very unlikely they decided to take the scenic route.

 

Another thing, I agree with everyone that Donnie Yen was a delight, which is why I hated that he had to say a line about how he fought a war on every continent. Really? He fought a war on Antarctica? Who did he fight, an army of emperor penguins?

 

*Don't worry guys, the math checks out.

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paul scheer points at you, and for the second time you step up to the microphone in front of a rapt crowd and sing a song you wrote about the movie they watched that week. the lights of the stage and the pressure of the crowd combine to make you awash with sweat. with no backing track its hard to stay in tune, but all in all you think you're doing an admirable job. your mind wanders and you realize you can't remember what happened in your life between this song and the last one you sang for your favorite podcast. the song comes to a close, and as the crowd breaks into applause you wonder, is this heaven? or is this hell? jason shouts a word of praise to you as you stumble off the stage, but you barely hear it. no time for kudos, you have another song to write...

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Finally, Ruby also aggressively hits on Nina Dobrev.

 

That line was pretty great.

 

9sxHPBx.jpg

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The most ridiculous part of this for me was the idea that 300lb Vin Diesel could run at the same pace as Donnie Yen.

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Thanks to google I found this great behind-the-scenes article that details how they shot the jungle ski scene and learned there where more than 1 stunt double for Vin Diesel in that scene... (Among many other things)

 

https://theringer.com/movies-xxx-return-of-xander-cage-jungle-ski-stunt-behind-the-scenes-ad1549d2f1a3

 

Also bonus points to whoever thought and made this drawing of Xander with skis in the jungle for the article

1*eiNYUud8xT3PIKprpCpAfQ.jpeg

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Thanks to google I found this great behind-the-scenes article that details how they shot the jungle ski scene and learned there where more than 1 stunt double for Vin Diesel in that scene... (Among many other things)

 

https://theringer.co...es-ad1549d2f1a3

 

Fascinating.

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I like that when Ice Cube saves the day, he is shown on top of a steel beam already inside the factory.

 

So that means: after 11 years, he finally gets that alarm signal. He gets Vin Diesel's car, drive to the factory like a madman, then, instead of busting through like the cavalry, he parks the car way outside, picks up the grenade launcher that he must keep in the trunk, runs to the factory, sneaks inside, finds a way to climb on some random steel beam and only then, he starts saving the day.

 

I heard all that will be covered in the next movie of the franchise... xXx 4: The Waiting Game

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One of the audience members brought up this line, but I wanted to discuss it further. Xander Cage says that he was doing the numbers to figure out where exactly between North Korea and China that the soldier would land if he was flushed down the toilet on the plane. His numbers involved air velocity divided by distance. Right off the bat, that makes no sense, as the "distance" part is the unknown and shouldn't be in his equation. Secondly, he probably meant "speed" (of the plane) instead of "air velocity," since that has nothing to do with his question. Speed is distance divided by time. Xander Cage's equation would give you an answer of 1/time, which is useless in this situation. Assuming that the plane is traveling in a straight line at a constant speed, you divide that by the time it takes for the soldier to hit the ground, and you'll have the distance that he will have travelled from the drop off point. If we assume the plane was already at cruising altitude and speed and if we assume the soldier takes 3.5 minutes to hit the ground, yadda yadda yadda, he will land about 32 miles from the drop off point.*

 

Having said that, there's no need to go all Hidden Figures, because the soldier will land somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. The route from the Philippines to Detroit goes nowhere near North Korea and China, as that would mean they were heading straight North from the Philippines. As they seem to be in a hurry to get to Detroit, it's very unlikely they decided to take the scenic route.

 

Another thing, I agree with everyone that Donnie Yen was a delight, which is why I hated that he had to say a line about how he fought a war on every continent. Really? He fought a war on Antarctica? Who did he fight, an army of emperor penguins?

 

*Don't worry guys, the math checks out.

On behalf of the entire HDTGM community, can I just say that I'm so happy that we forced you to go see this movie last night, Tom. Look what we would have missed out on!

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I listed the age differences, not the actresses ages Deepika is 31 ( sorry I originally googled her age as 30) Vin is 49 hence 18 years. The youngest two of the women who for some reason want to fuck Vin are actually 23.

 

It is also a pretty big difference when you consider that at least in the F&F the age gaps are a little better, 11 years with Michelle Rodriguez and 9 years with Elsa Patakay.

 

Guess I need to work on my reading comprehension skills more. I guess I saw the 25 years for Hermione Corfield and Ariana Arevalo and thought, "Yeah, those women are around 25 I guess." So, now I'm just realizing these women are all half Vin Diesel's age or less. Ugh.

 

It makes me wonder, since it appears Vin had a lot of say so in the rest of the production, how much he had with picking his many love interests in the rest of the movie.

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Has anyone here seen the tv show, Garth Marenghi's DarkPlace?

Paul's mentioned it a few times on the Seeso adverts.

 

I've just realised that VinDiesel and Garth Marenghi are essentially the same person.

GM is the writer, director, lead actor (even the theme tune is "based on melodies whistled by GM") of Dark Place, who plays the character of Dr Rick Dagless MD.

Dagless is the most badass of badasses, women want him and men want to be him; and other characters routinely say how impressive he is.

He's a great shot, a highly trained hand-to-hand combatant, the best doctor at Darkplace (probably the world) and a shaman.

 

The main difference between these two ego-monsters is that Marenghi is just a character played for laughs.

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On behalf of the entire HDTGM community, can I just say that I'm so happy that we forced you to go see this movie last night, Tom. Look what we would have missed out on!

 

You say "hero," but all I hear is "traitor." ;)

 

Tom...

 

14648597.gif

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On behalf of the entire HDTGM community, can I just say that I'm so happy that we forced you to go see this movie last night, Tom. Look what we would have missed out on!

 

At least one of us is happy lol.

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At least one of us is happy lol.

It could have been worse. Cakebug could have made us all watch Across the Universe again.

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It could have been worse. Cakebug could have made us all watch Across the Universe again.

Careful, I'll make it my pick next time too if you keep that up.

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The whole thing is a Jacobs Ladder scenario where in the first XXX when he jumps the bike over that building that explodes, the rest of the movie and all the sequels after are his "dream" right before he dies from the explosion.

Still fleshing out why the second movie wouldn't be about him but I'm just spitballin' here.

 

Clearly the second movie is reality and only the third is Jacobs Ladder.

 

BTW, a little disappointed that Jason didn't posit this himself.

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I remember when the first one came out. I was a teenager at the time, but an older teenager who wouldn't be too interested in this type of movie. It was so heavily marketed too, especially in the soft core lads mags that were at their height of popularity in North America at the time, and I was at the right age to be exposed to. Asia Argento's face and other parts were everywhere. I remember the marketing for this thing seemed to play up a lot of American patriotism, like the idea that James Bond just wasn't extreme or American enough, and that's why we needed Xander Cage. This was released a year after 9/11. The idea that this sequel movie is doing so well internationally so many years later is funny to me.

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With all the talk of everyone's extremely limited skills, I thought of the xXx team as being similar to the GI Joe toys. After the first couple years, each character became increasingly specific with their abilities and how that translated to the battlefield. There was even a figure named Dee Jay who was a literal DJ.

deejay2.jpg

 

 

I think you're right that the team/ character title cards were influenced by GI Joe. The director of xXx, was on to make GI Joe 3 but was delayed because he took on this movie.

 

The G.I. Joe franchise makes money, but it doesn’t make Michael Bay money. While we’ll see Transformers number five this summer, we continue to wait for a G.I. Joe 3, which may have been delayed due to scheduling. Director D.J. Caruso was attached to direct the film, but he moved on to make xXx: Return of Xander Cage. When Caruso was developing the Hasbro film, he had it end with the G.I. Joe and Transformers universes meeting.

 

http://www.slashfilm...mers-crossover/

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After re-listening to the bit where Diesel hits on the interviewer I can say the only way that would have been more uncomfortable to listen to was if Vin Diesel was loudly jacking it similar to Jonah Hill in Wolf of Wall Street.

giphy.gif

 

As for the seemingly eventual crossover between this series and the Fast and Furious, Vin Diesel's ego knows no bounds as he was recently quoted saying that he feels people are clamoring for a Groot solo movie, which only means he would eventually want that character to crossover into this series as well and set up the eventual Vin Diesel ego orgy that also somehow includes Riddick.

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Clearly the second movie is reality and only the third is Jacobs Ladder.

 

BTW, a little disappointed that Jason didn't posit this himself.

 

Wait so if the third one is the Jacobs Ladder, then he dies while skiing down the jungle mountain or what?

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I feel like this episode proved I am truly internet June. Not only was I also convinced this was the second xXx movie. And I believe you all THINK there was one with Ice Cube, but I also kind of think it might be a giant hoax. I also seem to have forgotten the first one. I know there was Samuel L. Jackson and something about getting kicked out of a plane?

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I feel like this episode proved I am truly internet June. Not only was I also convinced this was the second xXx movie. And I believe you all THINK there was one with Ice Cube, but I also kind of think it might be a giant hoax. I also seem to have forgotten the first one. I know there was Samuel L. Jackson and something about getting kicked out of a plane?

Yeah this one basically rehashed a few key scenes from the first one. Vin Diesel is able to break down how he knows how Sam Jackson created a fake armed robbery in a small diner where he points how out a waitress wouldn't wear heels because Diesels mom was a nurse or some such shit and even fires the robber's gun revealing he somehow knew it had blanks in it. Then later in the movie Diesel is launched out of the back of a plane in the same way he launched the soldiers out in this one. It's almost like they realized that these movies weren't very memorable to begin with so they rehashed scenes to make it seem original for new viewers while allowing them to be shitty homages for people who watched the other movies.

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