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HoldenMartinson

Homework: The Fellowship of the Ring vs. The Return of the King

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God this is like binge watching a mini-series. I thought about catching Two Towers as well for context, but then I noped out when I realized the theatrical cuts were all three hours.

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I saw the first two in theatres. Had a good time. I think I even saw them both twice each. Can't recall, but it feels "right".

 

Bought FotR:EE on DVD as soon as it came out. Watched the first half. Never came back to it.

 

Nevertheless, I persisted. Bought TTT:EE on DVD as soon as it came out. Took off the plastic. Never watched a single minute of it.

 

Never saw RotK in theatres. Never saw it anywhere. Didn't care.

 

Such an EXHAUSTING series. The mere thought of sitting down and watching these overbearing over-dramatic and yet oft-stupid adaptations of an old-school uber-dramatic epic fantasy work....

 

Exhaustion. That's all I can say.

 

I was nonetheless impressed with both FotR and TTT in theatres. And the EE bits of FotR that I saw were really....impressive. Also. But it remains exhausting work to even THINK of seeing these films. I both wanted more levity, and HATED the levity they did throw in (OMG, Pippin/Merry made a poop joke, ROFL!, Dwarf-tossing is HIGH-larious!).

 

Not to be a total dipshit elitist contrarian, but....I'd honestly pick TTT out of all the movies, if I were to pick one. When Gandalf and company showed up at the height of the siege of Helm's Deep/The Hornburg, THAT was emotionally riveting, and I felt wonderful watching it, far more than I ever did with the rest of the series. Except for Lothlorien. Because that was GORgeous. But TTT also had a beautiful Hardanger violin solo associated with Rohan. And some beautiful shots of Arwen striding along her barely-castle parapets or whatever. Honestly, it's all surface stuff, what I've kept with me. None of the meat. Like they completely failed to tell an engaging story, but at least the aesthetics are cool, right?

 

But it would still be stupid to even try to put one above another, because you literally CAN'T just pick one. It's the whole series or none. It's a solid trilogy, a three-parter of ONE story.

 

I'll listen. But I won't vote. Because if I can't bother to watch two DVD-sets I've owned for over a decade yet have maybe 1/4-seen, why should I buy/see the last one? Or even (re)-watch what I've been so long avoiding?

 

I hate to say it, because the behind-the-scenes stuff in this film series is fascinating, but....these films are no fun to actually watch. So....why should I spend 10-11 hours watching them? I just can't even.

 

If there's a "Neither" option this week...I'll take it. Even if I haven't seen RotK. How else to express/explain a decade's worth of indifference? I just don't think the series...works as entertainment. The number of films I've seen 3+ times over the last five years alone, and yet I never once (re)-visited this one? That's gotta speak to something.

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I wouldn't put a "Neither" option. For one, it's super disappointing that one was implemented in the first place. More than that, The Lord of the Rings is canon. In terms of production, visual effects, music, quotability, casting, etc., it's simply far too important, even if they're not particularly enjoyable the way they used to be. One of them has to be in, and the one that has to be in is The Two Towers. But whatever, GUESTS.

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I normally never venture outside the CBB Catchphrase forum, but this is very wrong. The trilogy is one movie in three parts. To pit them against each other is like pitting Hamlet Act 1 against Hamlet Act 4. And to enter one into your so-called "Canon" without the other two would invalidate the list in its entirety—if that hadn't already been done by the admittance of "There's Something About Mary." Now go have a nice warm, hot buttered ear of fresh spring sweet corn and think about what you've done.

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