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JulyDiaz

Episode 162 - My Stepmother Is An Alien: LIVE!

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What happened to Chopping Mall?

 

Same thing that happened to The Lake House? Just got held back for a bit.

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Explanation:

 

Okay I think I have an explanation for Lovitz saying he smells like fish. It to me seems like they are trying to sneak a hacky adult joke into a kids movie with the stereotypical joke of lady parts smelling like fish, and with Lovitz appearing to be this uber ladies man, the joke is he is just up to his eyeballs in poon. Not saying it's a good joke, but it's the only explanation that I can come up with for the fish joke.

 

Put'er in a brahr!

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So I don't normally love Whitney.

 

Clarification: from my (admittedly limited) exposure to her, she's just not in line with my type humor. I can appreciate the structure of her jokes, but what I've seen of her comedy doesn't line up with me. And I realize I'm probably not in her general demographic.

 

That said...#imwithher

 

This movie was gold growing up. I might not have been raised by a VHS copy of this movie, but it was on cable A LOT when I was a kid, and I totally loved it. It was up there with another HDTGM-worthy movie - Spaced Invaders.

 

I watched a lot of shit growing up, and Paul is partly right about how kids were excited just to actually be watching a movie. But more than that, both of these movies hit a crucial genre for my development. Since I was a kid, I loved cheesy alien movies. I loved any movie where an alien comes to Earth and befriends (or awkwardly fucks) a human.

 

I didn't rewatch the movie for the ep because my week has been really crazy with work and personal life (also part of the reason I haven't been as active in the Musical Monday thread as usual, despite having tons of thoughts about that delicious disaster), but I can recognize that it was probably bad. But I kind of don't want to rewatch because it was such a formative part of what I like now.

 

Like, I can recognize everything that everyone has said, but I also know that without shitty movies like this that played on cable ad nauseum, I probably wouldn't love the kind of genre movies I do now. For me, it's like hating Hank the Cowdog even though those books set up the aesthetic that makes me love Cormac McCarthy (although Hank the Cowdog is still the shit).

 

I don't know if that makes any sense. But basically, the idea is that you like shit-tacular works when you're a kid, but you can recognize that those films were formative and bad entries into the genre were what made you find better versions of that genre.

 

But - again - I don't disagree with any of the criticisms of this movie. I just appreciate what this kind of schlocky "family" movie did for me developmentally as a movie lover.

 

Edit: I got distracted halfway through my post with talking more about the movie, and I want to be clear that I totally felt the same way that Whitney did when movie was announced. I haven't rewatched it, but I bet I would have the same response she did.

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How often do you think Dr. Steven has informed Dave the Dog that Sirius is also known the Dog Star? My guess is a lot.

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Explanation:

 

Okay I think I have an explanation for Lovitz saying he smells like fish. It to me seems like they are trying to sneak a hacky adult joke into a kids movie with the stereotypical joke of lady parts smelling like fish, and with Lovitz appearing to be this uber ladies man, the joke is he is just up to his eyeballs in poon. Not saying it's a good joke, but it's the only explanation that I can come up with for the fish joke.

 

Put'er in a brahr!

 

How about this as an alternative theory?

 

While we don't know much about Jon Lovitz's character, we do know that he's obsessed with his own image and pretty unscrupulous. Just before he remarks that it smells like fish, he makes a point saying that the jacket is a Ralph Lauren. Maybe it smells like fish after it gets wet because it's a knockoff brand that he bought on the cheap just to look swanky at Mingles?

 

I know there's not a whole lot of evidence to support this theory, but I think it might be a little more likely (and much less crass)...just a hunch.

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Maybe he bought the suit from Harry and Marv from Home Alone 2! "I smell freedom." "I smell fish."

 

Also more likely.

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Explanation:

 

Okay I think I have an explanation for Lovitz saying he smells like fish. It to me seems like they are trying to sneak a hacky adult joke into a kids movie with the stereotypical joke of lady parts smelling like fish, and with Lovitz appearing to be this uber ladies man, the joke is he is just up to his eyeballs in poon. Not saying it's a good joke, but it's the only explanation that I can come up with for the fish joke.

 

Dude, gross. There's no way that is what is happening.

 

 

How about this as an alternative theory?

 

While we don't know much about Jon Lovitz's character, we do know that he's obsessed with his own image and pretty unscrupulous. Just before he remarks that it smells like fish, he makes a point saying that the jacket is a Ralph Lauren. Maybe it smells like fish because it's a knockoff brand that he bought on the cheap just to look swanky at Mingles?

 

I know there's not a whole lot of evidence to support this theory, but I think it might be a little more likely (and much less crass)...just a hunch.

What I took from that line was that he was wearing a wool jacket, and when wool gets wet, it smells bad. I went to a school where we wore wool blazers in the winter, and whenever it was a wet day the whole school smelled like wet dog. I think it's way simpler than everyone's making it - wool smells bad when it's wet and he associates it with fish.

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Dude, gross. There's no way that is what is happening.

 

 

What I took from that line was that he was wearing a wool jacket, and when wool gets wet, it smells bad.  I went to a school where we wore wool blazers in the winter, and whenever it was a wet day the whole school smelled like wet dog.  I think it's way simpler than everyone's making it - wool smells bad when it's wet and he associates it with fish.

 

I'm not sure how you can tell his blazer is wool-lined or why he would be wearing a wool-lined blazer in California, but I'm willing to buy that over the other theory.

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My C&O would be about the "Mother would be proud" line

 

The correct interpretation is that Dan Akroyd's mother would be proud that he managed to find a second wife and that she was not only gorgeous but a virgin as well.

 

I get how you can read it the other way, that Kim's "mother" would be proud she kept her virtue all this time but let's be real, Dan Akroyd's character isn't the type of dude to think about her perspective.

 

 

Put 'er in a brar

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Not sorry for the double post. This live ep is up there with Bloodsport and Secret of the Ooze. The Second Opinion couple are relationship goals. They reminded me, in Secret of the Ooze, when June said "I think I AM married to that kind of man."

 

"put 'er in a bra" is catchy, but my new go-to insult will be "you have a body of a scallop."

Body of a scallop crushed me. I cannot stress how much oxygen I lost due to laughter.

2 questions after listening to this ep:

 

1: who's tim?

The man I'm going to marry (if he's not already taken and open to ladies).

 

So Tim, if you're out there

giphy.gif

**not an actual photo of me**

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Ahoy-hoy. Long time fan, first time commenter:

 

I know Paul mentioned this, but I am obsessed with Dr. Mills and Celeste’s final off-camera sex scene at the very end of the movie. Just consider all that happens in those last few seconds: Willow wants to play basketball so Mills heads upstairs alone; Celeste and Willow play a little one-on-one and Celeste levitates Willow so that she can dunk; As Willow is landing, Celeste gives a two-fisted “YES!” and starts walking away, presumably to join Mills in bed; Willow has a few seconds of “Wow, I did it! So cool!” and then the very next shot is of Mills and Celeste’s bedroom window with fireworks going off!

 

If we’re to assume, as we do earlier in the movie (and in most movies, I guess), that fireworks in a sexual context represent orgasm, how could Mills have climaxed that fast? He would have had to run upstairs, reach full mast, and be waiting on the bed for her, and then she, after helping Willow dunk, would’ve had to sprint upstairs, disrobe in route, and then leap onto him, upon which time he climaxes immediately (again, as he seems to during the first time they had sex).

 

Considering all this, it seems clear to me that Celeste’s lust for Mills is simply due to the fact that she’s never had sex with anyone else, and that Mills would have to represent the low end of Paul’s “sex scale.”

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Also, let me just say that I think the whole movie is worth it just to see Jon Lovitz's reaction to the spaceship full of Princess Carolines.

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I'm sure this will just shine a spotlight on my own ignorance, but I'm actually curious...

 

When we look at the interior of Jon Lovitz's radical beach house, is the totally tubular decor supposed to be enviable or ridiculous? Like, if I lived in the Eighties and I saw all the fluorescent pink accents and the glass wall-cubes, would I be thinking, "Man, what a joke" or "Dude, that guy has got it figured out?"

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I'm sure this will just shine a spotlight on my own ignorance, but I'm actually curious...

 

When we look at the interior of Jon Lovitz's radical beach house, is the totally tubular decor supposed to be enviable or ridiculous? Like, if I lived in the Eighties and I saw all the fluorescent pink accents and the glass wall-cubes, would I be thinking, "Man, what a joke" or "Dude, that guy has got it figured out?"

 

I think we were supposed to think it was a totally rad bachelor pad!

 

Also, at the party, this part was so cringey. Dan Aykroyd trying to "mess up" eating the hummus, but it was so fake.

 

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Also, at the party, this part was so cringey. Dan Aykroyd trying to "mess up" eating the hummus, but it was so fake.

 

zXmlQEk.png

 

For sure! I had such an issue with that. If you're incapable of eating celery and dip without looking like a fucking spaz, you're no longer allowed to leave the house.

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For sure! I had such an issue with that. If you're incapable of eating celery and dip without looking like a fucking spaz, you're no longer allowed to leave the house.

 

And please don't leave the house without fixing your pocket square.

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And please don't leave the house without fixing your pocket square.

 

tenor.gif

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I'm not sure how you can tell his blazer is wool-lined or why he would be wearing a wool-lined blazer in California, but I'm willing to buy that over the other theory.

That double breasted blue blazer, replete with gold buttons, is almost assuredly made out of wool.

 

Pretty conservative choice for a self-styled ladies man, especially given how he decked out his home.

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In the first ten minutes when Kim is flying through space, she goes "oooh there's Saturn!" Why the hell would she call it by the name that Earthlings call it rather than whatever random name her planet chose for Saturn?

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Also my theory for the fish joke was that he was saying that the rain itself smelled like fish. Which doesn't make much sense, but neither does anything else in this movie.

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In the first ten minutes when Kim is flying through space, she goes "oooh there's Saturn!" Why the hell would she call it by the name that Earthlings call it rather than whatever random name her planet chose for Saturn?

 

Yeah, Cam Bert made the same point a couple of pages ago, and while I was initially inclined to agree, I don't really see a problem with it. The alien's research, while not perfect, is pretty extensive. They're aware of Popeye, and dresses, and the "Christians and the lions" and a bunch of other things. And since they weren't aware of humans and our Solar System prior to Aykroyd's transmission, there's no reason they'd have another name for Saturn. They'd just refer to it in our own tongue.

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I guess it just seems so bizarre to me because if the the shoe were on the other foot there's no way in hell we would ever travel to another planet and call it by whatever name they called it by. It'd be whatever nonsense name the first human who spotted it decided to call it like Polarium 13.

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I guess it just seems so bizarre to me because if the the shoe were on the other foot there's no way in hell we would ever travel to another planet and call it by whatever name they called it by. It'd be whatever nonsense name the first human who spotted it decided to call it like Polarium 13.

 

Oh, I don't know...I think it would depend on whether we "discovered" the planet before we learned of the aliens that lived there. Like, if I learned there was an alien species and they called their planet "Kleebor," I think I would just call it that. But, if prior to knowing of their existence, I had "discovered" their planet and named it Cameron H's Bitchin' Party Planet, and then later discovered there were people living on it, I think I would have a hard time calling "Kleebor."

 

As far as this movie is concerned, the aliens don't seem to have any knowledge of Earth or humans before Dr. Steven's radio beam. Since they didn't know that our Solar Ststem already existed, they would have no reason to have pre-named any of our planets. In which case, it makes more sense for them to use our names for them rather than just make up new ones as they pass by.

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Happy Mother's Day to June and all the other HDTGM mothers out there!

 

Treat yourself!

 

 

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