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JulyDiaz

Episode 167 - Chopping Mall: LIVE!

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This movie was just bad .. nothing really fun .. or " so bad it's good" about it. Just bad.

The best thing would be the lead dudes were all very attractive and there's boobs.

And oh look Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov but nothing else ..

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the garbage pail kids was never really a thing here. or maybe i was too young to care. i remember the cards but i've never seen the movie. and i have no idea what hard ticket to hawaii is.

 

sptzxl.jpg

 

there's a version of each of these on youtube but the GPK one seems short compared to the IMDB runtime. does anyone if it's the peoper version?

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You know you listen to HDTGM a lot when you listen to a new episode, hear one of the audience members ask a question, and think, "Wait...isn't that the same Brie (sp?) from the Furious 7 episode that 'likes that Groot guy'". (Pretty sure it is. Went back to listen to Furious 7 again and that woman's name IS Brie (sp?) as well...)

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Imagine someone with a BB-8 avatar being a robot apologist. "What's its mission?" Unequivocal robot advocacy, it seems.

 

But in defensive of all us humans, if being rude, goofing at work, cursing, and stealing donuts were really justifications for brutal robot death, would any of us here really be alive today? I suspect most of us are doing most of those things right now.

 

Us robots feel you humans are warned sufficiently of our possible blood lust. Let's just say, if you are near a freak lighting storm, it would just be wise to act kindly for you never know when we may bring forth the power of good... through death.

 

landscape-1471425097-robot-stare.gif

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So, in the opening the good Doctor mentioned that the robots would be patrolling the top 3 floors. Does this mean there were MORE? Could they have not just gone to the first floor?

 

Also, the robots could BARELY get up the escalators. Maybe they could have just gone up or built stairs to effectively stump the bots?

 

Lastly, if these were security robots shouldn't they have alerted the police? At the very least people could have heard the gun shots, explosions, cries of anguish from dying teenagers and at least CALLED the police? Weren't the janitors locked in as well? Couldn't they have done something?

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I LOVE Mary Holland this ep was the best!!!

 

Omissions...

 

* (Although briefly referenced) A lady spills/drops the entire food tray but even if she didnt trip there was no board on that table just the metal rod so the chances of food falling to the ground were high regardles.

 

* This movie reminded me a lot of Death Spa (Witch Bitch) but in the mall and without a supernatural element and less crazy deaths

 

That's one thing I wanted to point out. The water the janitor was "cleaning" the floor with was disgusting.

 

chopping-mall16.jpg

 

He would still be alive If he'd done a split ;)

 

 

Question...

 

The paint shop explotion was because of the fumes right???

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Did no one notice Dick Miller? He was in Gremlins, Explorers, The Terminator, Piranha, etc. This guy was in most 80's movies as a background actor........just giving him a shout out.

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So, we've had Lauren and Mary. Now we need Erin and Stephanie!

 

Hear, hear! Well worth the wait for this episode. Mary and Jason's bit was hilarious.

 

Q: now that this is out of the way, is the last dragon the last previously announced movie we're waiting on? i'm after losing track.

 

You are correct. Last Dragon is the last in the queue unless they have an in-studio ep recorded between now and the next episode unless the 7/29 Largo shows get put up.

 

and i have no idea what hard ticket to hawaii is.

 

Oh boy. It was effectively a part of a film series about spies that had a LOT of nudity. I recall seeing them frequently on Showtime late night back in the early/mid 90's. Though I remember the sequels more than Hard Ticket. Where Al Leong was a main villain and Julie Strain was like this deadly assassin. If Paul thought the nudity in Chopping Mall was gratuitous, this is gonna be bonkers.

 

Honestly, depending on the guest, this movie has potential to be a series like the Fast & Furious/Twilight/Sharknado movies were.

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I have some problems off the bat:

 

--The robots kill the first guard but When the second guard comes in, they don’t have blood on them... so they also clean themselves?

 

--the mall scientists keep looking at the robots as if they expect them to do something. If they are that nervous, why not put them in a different room?

 

--the security robots are solving what problem again? Eliminating the need for a human security guard employee? Let’s say the mall had 3 night security guards, one for each floor like they do with robots...Well there’s 3 robots... but they require 2 mall scientists... so they’ve eliminated 1 human job... also, it seems like the salary for 3 night guards would be far less than 1 robotic scientist/engineer

 

-- Finally: Let's set the scene-- you're the president of a robotics company that makes mall robots... You just landed a big client and it's their first night in deployment... You aren't gonna check in with your mall scientists to see how it's going?

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the garbage pail kids was never really a thing here. or maybe i was too young to care. i remember the cards but i've never seen the movie. and i have no idea what hard ticket to hawaii is.

 

sptzxl.jpg

 

there's a version of each of these on youtube but the GPK one seems short compared to the IMDB runtime. does anyone if it's the peoper version?

I was able to watch Garbage Pail Kids as a kid and didn't hate it. As an adult a few years ago, Garbage Pail Kids was absolutely nauseating. Something about the costumes and the voice acting was revolting to me. I couldn't make it through the movie even fast forwarding. I won't even attempt to watch it again for the podcast.

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Want help right away and not have to wait for morning?

 

Pull the f'ing fire alarm on the wall behind you and go hide in the air-ducts again.

post-128437-0-83570400-1500669094_thumb.png

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Us robots feel you humans are warned sufficiently of our possible blood lust. Let's just say, if you are near a freak lighting storm, it would just be wise to act kindly for you never know when we may bring forth the power of good... through death.

 

landscape-1471425097-robot-stare.gif

 

Hey, if a group of teenagers want to throw a small orgy in secret, after hours, on someone else's property, smoke a few cigs, and say a few cuss words, who are you to pass judgment? Morality goes beyond your 1's and 0's!

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A few things:

 

-- everybody in this movie seems to answer phone calls and the person on the other end is asking if they have any messages or something... also, who answers a public pay phone? But this also means the phones work... Yet they never even try to call for help

 

-- so this mall wants high tech security robots... But really DOESNT want 1 alarm? There isn't 1 alarmed store in this whole building

 

-- The upgraded security was big news in the mall. They held s demo in the middle of the place... Now you're a group of "teens" planning an... Orgy party... Wouldn't you say "let's not do it the same night that they upgrade the security system?

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Hey, if a group of teenagers want to throw a small orgy in secret, after hours, on someone else's property, smoke a few cigs, and say a few cuss words, who are you to pass judgment? Morality goes beyond your 1's and 0's!

 

chopping-mall31.gif

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A few things:

 

-- everybody in this movie seems to answer phone calls and the person on the other end is asking if they have any messages or something... also, who answers a public pay phone? But this also means the phones work... Yet they never even try to call for help

 

-- so this mall wants high tech security robots... But really DOESNT want 1 alarm? There isn't 1 alarmed store in this whole building

 

-- The upgraded security was big news in the mall. They held s demo in the middle of the place... Now you're a group of "teens" planning an... Orgy party... Wouldn't you say "let's not do it the same night that they upgrade the security system?

 

I came to the forum to remark on the alarm thing. Multiple store front windows smashed and no alarms. Not even a silent alarm that alerts the killbots that a specific store has been broken into. Seems like a strange omission considering the insane level of security otherwise. Was this technology not invented yet in 1986?

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The tone of this movie is so bizarre to me. It seems like it was only made to appeal to roughly 13-16 year old boys, people who would not even be able to buy a ticket to see it.

 

It has awkwardly forced swearing and needless, gratuitous nudity, but it's never even as scary as a Goosebumps. Is this even supposed to be a horror movie? It's more in line with Twilight Zone or Outer Limits I guess, just without any of the subtext or quality.

------

 

It seems like this movie got made and the studio realized how fucking terrible it was and just said fuck it, let's deliberately market this as something it is not. I'd respect this movie more if they just stuck with the original Killbots title.

 

Like it was mentioned in the episode, the poster is selling a COMPLETELY different movie, and "Chopping Mall," while actually a pretty badass title, doesn't make any goddamn sense for this movie! A movie called Chopping Mall has to be a stalker/slasher flick more akin to Friday the 13th or Sleepaway Camp or something in that vein. The Protectors do not and seemingly can not chop jack shit! The closest thing to a chop is Gum Chewin' Mike's murder, and we can all agree that's really more of a slice.

 

The studio knew exactly what they were doing. That is some deliberate and sinister false advertising.

 

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the garbage pail kids was never really a thing here. or maybe i was too young to care. i remember the cards but i've never seen the movie. and i have no idea what hard ticket to hawaii is.

 

sptzxl.jpg

 

there's a version of each of these on youtube but the GPK one seems short compared to the IMDB runtime. does anyone if it's the peoper version?

Not excited about the Garbage Pail Kids. I hated the cards, didn't know there was a movie and did not care to know.

 

You know you listen to HDTGM a lot when you listen to a new episode, hear one of the audience members ask a question, and think, "Wait...isn't that the same Brie (sp?) from the Furious 7 episode that 'likes that Groot guy'". (Pretty sure it is. Went back to listen to Furious 7 again and that woman's name IS Brie (sp?) as well...)

Probably? There are regulars at the Largo shows. There's Tim (who would sing the Second Opinions them, asks a question in this one and answered Jason's nerd questions in My Stepmother is an Alien), Aarthi the Knitting Girl, Tim Curry guy/Robert, and some other ones. Anyone have a fave recurring audience member?

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So some stray lightning strikes fried the robots CPUs and they became killbots? Is this what we're suppose to believe? If you try to argue that one of things that got fried was their non-lethal programing or acceptable limits of voltage and strength to use with their tasers and lasers I can see that. Yet there is one action these robots do multiple times that would serve no purpose in their non-lethal programming which proves that these things were programmed for murder all along! These robots move, hide, and manipulate the bodies of their victims. They murder the first technician and hide the body from the next technician. When they kill gum chewer they position his body behind the cigarette machine even though he was killed over by the door. Then there is the fact that even though we pass by where several of the teens dead bodies should be they aren't there. Now I ask you why would the robots do this? What part of non-lethal programing would require they to be moving bodies? Also two of the bodies are moved or hidden in a way to lure the next victim into a trap. They are night security robots! Performing stings is not something they'd be doing so why is that programing in them? No clearly these things were always programmed for murder.

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LOL. I have one question: why does the Pizza Store owner/chef look homeless as all get up.

 

That dude needs a shower and new white tee

 

also, towards the end when the robots are going ham, I can't help but see this every time they attack

 

maxresdefault.jpg

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chopping-mall16.jpg

 

Tangentally related to your post; did Dick Miller ever turn down a movie? This was two years after Gremlins, in which he had a fairly significant role. Did he need to take these movies anymore? I guess he was a Corman guy through and through.

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So looking at the cast list there are a bunch of horror performers in this film and a couple with connections to other Roger Corman films.

 

Kelli Maroney (Allison) starred in another horror movie with an 80s mall setting in Night of the Comet.

Russell Todd (Rick/Silver Fox) was in the second Friday the 13th.

Barbara Crampton (Suzie) is a scream queen who has starred in Re-Animator, You're Next, and We Are Still Here, among others.

Mary Woronov (Mary Bland) was Calamity Jane in Death Race 2000.

Dick Miller was the neighbor in the Gremlins movies and his character in this film, Walter Paisley, is the same name as his character in the Corman film A Bucket of Blood.

Mel Welles (Cook) was in a couple different Corman flicks.

Gerrit Graham (2nd security tech) was in Terrorvision.

Angus Scrimm (Dr. Carrington) is the Tall Man in the Phantasm series.

 

Also, how did no one point out the worst death of the entire movie that was even more avoidable than Suzie's kerosene can explosion, is Rick's who drives a golf cart into a robot and gets electrocuted. The cart was going at most 3 miles per hour and was only like ten feet away from the robot so he had negative chance to get any speed to ram the robot, the guy basically just zapped himself to death to basically just tip a robot over.

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