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JulyDiaz

Episode 170 - Bratz

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Having red eyes is consistent with her being some sort of hellish demon.

I bet this is how Monster High came about...

 

ETA: Oh! Speaking of other dolls!

 

I wanted to address June's question about Barbie's age. I know the first Barbie was 17 and a fashion model. But that was when she was first introduced 50 years ago. Since then she'd be an Astronaut and I don't think anyone underage can go to space.

 

Jason mentions Mailbu Stacy, which other posters pointed out is a Simpsons knock-off of Barbie. But Barbie does have a sister named "Stacie." The Barbie wiki says she is the "second oldest of Barbie's younger sisters."

 

Also, June says the Bratz must be taller than Barbie if they are 10 inches, but Barbie is actually taller than them. She is (typically) 11 and a half inches.

 

If you guys do "Jem and the Holograms," then I know *those* dolls were bigger than Barbie. I know this because I used to make my Jem dolls beat up the other girls' Barbie dolls at school.

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I assumed they were the student council. You're right though that is another clique.

You can also add journalism to the list and at Meredith's party one of the tables was labeled "Boy Jocks." Can we safely assume there is a "Girl Jocks" as well?

 

There is a table for "Girls soccer" is that the same as girl jocks?

There doesn't seem to be any lady basketball, volleyball, field hockey, or softball. It would seem girl's soccer and cheerleaders are the only acceptable female athletics at Carrie Nation High. Sad.

 

We really are a divided Carry Nation High School ...

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There is a table for "Girls soccer" is that the same as girl jocks?

There doesn't seem to be any lady basketball, volleyball, field hockey, or softball. It would seem girl's soccer and cheerleaders are the only acceptable female athletics at Carrie Nation High. Sad.

Well their woman's soccer team is big and we know that they have a football team I wonder if those groups get their own clique and the other sports because they're not as good and don't get enough funding just get lumped together into "boy jocks" and "girl jocks?"

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This is random but I just remembered that the girl that plays Meredith was also on Dancing With the Stars. Weird that two cast members from this were onthat show. Different seasons though. Though they're both on ABC Family/Freeform shows so maybe they just pull actors from that network a lot.

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It's always a bad sign when a film can't secure the rights to a piece of music, but instead of abandoning it they create a legally above board soundalike piece of music. Like uncanny valley for your ears.

Henry Mancini - Lujon clip

 

 

There were more but I can't remember right now.

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Did anyone else audibly gasp when Sasha took it to "Only because you don't have a Daddy...or a bank account." Damn. That's fucking cold.

 

Also, I think it's problematic that their solution "to be friends with everyone" seems to mean "others must change to be like us." Maybe instead of putting lip gloss on the nerd or teaching the soccer girl how to walk in heels, you should take a fucking second to talk to them and get to know them as individuals! Shit, Meredith wasn't trying to change people to be like her! At least she allowed people to pursue their own hobbies and interests!

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That's why I put it in quotes. I wondered if the filmmakers thought that being half Spanish and being of a "Sephardic Jewish background" meant OMG Latina with a bubbie.

I suppose lazy screenwriting is the safest explanation for everything in this movie.

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There were way more revealing gaffs with Dylan's deafness. He's the one who starts dancing to La Cucaracha at the Super Sweet 16. But he was seated too far away from the speakers to feel that song (if he would even be able to recognize the song from a single voice) and based on his position and the film he wouldn't be able to lip read. This is mentioned in the imdb goofs but I noticed it right away as well.

 

In terms of pacing and film-making, I have to say this actually blows up most of my expectations, as Kate suggested. There's only one moment of artificial witholding of information, and it's when Yasmin doesn't tell her friends about the flashdrive at the end. The stereotypes are established cartoonishly at the beginning, only to get fucking blow the fuck up in the first 10 minutes and repeatedly undermined in the ensuing film. But if you're paying attention, the rapid two year time jump makes the friends' fallout and reunion take like 10 minutes. In fact, in that scene where Chloe is standing on the desks and looking out the window after their detention, I was sure it would take the rest of the film to resolve their differences. Instead, it's resolved in a single conversation that takes like 2 minutes. In contrast, Mean Girls has the entire film resolve a similar conflict. The real conflict of this film is the slobs versus the snobs.

 

What I want to take issue with is how anyone could disagree that this wasn't parody. Are there straight up fascist principals out there I don't know about? I went to a giant public school and agree they're basically prisons for children, but even I didn't have signs that said OBEY and CONFORM.

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What I want to take issue with is how anyone could disagree that this wasn't parody. Are there straight up fascist principals out there I don't know about? I went to a giant public school and agree they're basically prisons for children, but even I didn't have signs that said OBEY and CONFORM.

 

I really want this movie to be parody. It's got all the call-signs and archetypal characters. Our four main girls are total Mary Sues. Everything is over-the-top in a way that makes it impossible to take seriously from a story and plot standpoint. Absurd things happen (or don't) just to propel the drama.

 

But it's a kids' movie. And kids just don't get parody because they haven't lived long enough to accumulate enough references to get the joke. It would be foolish to make a kids' movie parody that's also meant for kids (not that the creators of this movie aren't fools).

 

The furthest I'll go is to say, you know how Looney Tunes and Disney movies will throw in a few jokes just for the parents that the creators know are watching with their kids? Yeah, that. Or maybe this is a film version of Poe's Law.

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I just wanted to point out how monumentally fucked up it was that the horrible thing that Clover needed to "confess" was "my mother used to work as a maid for Meredith's parents." Apparently, this was the deep dark secret that Meredith had recorded on her jump drive and the thing that Clover couldn't bear for the rest of the world to know. This is also the thing that she devotes the most time to "confessing" when she's speaking to the assemblage - not the accusation of theft which she kind of "whatevers" away. And while the movie ultimately says it's okay that her mother worked as a maid, the fact that one of the Bratz was so ashamed of her mother for doing this that she (evidently) kept this secret under lock and key, tacitly tells any child in the audience whose parent is a housekeeper: "We get it. You're probably really embarrassed by your failure of a parent. It's okay, but wouldn't it be, like, way better if he or she were something else?"

 

Which brings me to another point: the fact that Meredith's family is willing to allow Clover's mother to cater for their daughter's huge birthday bash - despite suspicion of petty larceny - actually speaks really highly of them as a family. Not only were they willing to give this woman a second chance, but they also provided her with a huge opportunity! That's pretty special. Good for them!

 

And that brings me to two points about the party. I know dressing up like a clown isn't exactly the coolest thing in the world, but at least you have the benefit of anonymity. With all that makeup on, I literally could not tell one Bratz from another. So, I don't know... maybe pull yourself up from your bootstraps and suck it up? Also, you were hired to be clowns. If that's what Meredith wants you wearing, she's your freaking boss - do it. I feel like Meredith could make a very good case for suing Clover's mother for breach of contract.

 

And finally, just so you don't think I'm letting Meredith completely off the hook, was anyone else afraid she was going to have that elephant put down for attacking her?

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And finally, just so you don't think I'm letting Meredith completely off the hook, was anyone else afraid she was going to have that elephant put down for attacking her?

I was more worried that she would have the elephant start picking up Bratz and tossing them into the pool.

 

Could have been a cool moment, where the elephant plays with them like dolls.

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I was more worried that she would have the elephant start picking up Bratz and tossing them into the pool.

 

Could have been a cool moment, where the elephant plays with them like dolls.

 

Yes! Also, I felt a little empty inside that no one else jumped in the pool. Isn't that how you know a party's lit?

 

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Dude ... this movie was like your Slumdog Millionaire moment.

 

This comment made me LOL so hard.

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Did anyone else audibly gasp when Sasha took it to "Only because you don't have a Daddy...or a bank account." Damn. That's fucking cold.

 

Also, I think it's problematic that their solution "to be friends with everyone" seems to mean "others must change to be like us." Maybe instead of putting lip gloss on the nerd or teaching the soccer girl how to walk in heels, you should take a fucking second to talk to them and get to know them as individuals! Shit, Meredith wasn't trying to change people to be like her! At least she allowed people to pursue their own hobbies and interests!

I think this is why I have such little fondness for the Bratz. I support them in their endeavor to destroy clique culture and be friends despite having such different interests (I guess no totally different interests since they're all lovers of fashion), but they care so little about what other people are into and come off more narcissistic than anything.

 

And I'm thinking that there actually are a lot of schools that require assigned seating, and what if that had been a school mandated rule and they just waltzed in ignoring everything and then yelled at the girl trying to make sure they knew this was a rule?

 

I hated this movie I don't even know what I'm doing here.

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36795945746_34e92f81ab_o.png

So this photo would mean that Meredith is a senior, because she has 3 golden hatchet awards from the previous talent shows.

This still does not really explain why she is already the school president on the first day of school of her sophomore year. When do they hold SGA elections?

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36795945746_34e92f81ab_o.png

So this photo would mean that Meredith is a senior, because she has 3 golden hatchet awards from the previous talent shows.

This still does not really explain why she is already the school president on the first day of school of her sophomore year. When do they hold SGA elections?

 

I rewatched the first day of school scene this morning, and she's definitely a year older than the Bratz.

 

If I remember correctly, elections were usually held the year before. So, she was probably elected Sophomore president late in her Freshman year. I don't know that she's actually the student body president, though. Or at least, not until after the two year jump and she's a Senior.

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I rewatched the first day of school scene this morning, and she's definitely a year older than the Bratz.

 

If I remember correctly, elections were usually held the year before. So, she was probably elected Sophomore president late in her Freshman year. I don't know that she's actually the student body president, though. Or at least, not until after the two year jump and she's a Senior.

 

She is... that's one pro-active freshman!

36796301756_57a26d08fa_o.png

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She is... that's one pro-active freshman!

36796301756_57a26d08fa_o.png

 

Well...she's got that jump drive with full of not-really-all-that-salacious blackmail fodder. But, yeah, she's a real go-getter. Props to Meredith!

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It just occurred to me... that her name might be a shout-out to Meredith Baxter-Birney... but why!?

 

36153140804_fd984a4d31_o.gif

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IS CLOE'S FATHER IN IT???

CONSPIRACY THEORY!!! He was murdered by the government cause he knew too much!!!

ABOUT ALIENS, TAYLOR?

 

Okay, I too just spent some time on the Bratz Wiki page to see if I could get to the bottom of Polly's Meredith Baxter-Birney question and I got really involved with the history of Cloe and Cameron's relationship, which - in the cartoons anyway - goes unrequited. So I can imagine that this movie provided some much needed closure for some of the die hards. Anyway, in my research, I found this synopsis for an episode of their television show:

 

2.11 Alien Encounters: Cloe and Cameron sit together in their classes. After Cameron has been transformed into an alien slave, he encourages Cloe to 'look into his eyes!' and she does, remarking that "uh... oh-oh... uh-oh! They are awfully cute!".

 

So, while I'm not going to go so far as to suggest that her father was definitely eliminated due to his knowledge of extra terrestrial life, I will say, based on canonical evidence, it's not outside the realm of possibility.

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Oh, shit guys...

 

From the Bratz Wiki:

 

Dylan

 

...He is of African American descent..

 

And not only was he whitewashed, his character isn't usually presented as deaf either! So at some point someone thought, "Instead of being African American we'll make just him deaf." That's insane!

 

P.S. I'm not getting any sleep tonight, am I?

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Okay, I too just spent some time on the Bratz Wiki page to see if I could get to the bottom of Polly's Meredith Baxter-Birney question and I got really involved with the history of Cloe and Cameron's relationship, which - in the cartoons anyway - goes unrequited. So I can imagine that this movie provided some needed closure for some of the die hards. Anyway, in my research, I found this synopsis for an episode of their television show:

 

 

 

So, while I'm not going to go so far as to suggest that her father was definitely eliminated due to his knowledge of extra terrestrial life, I will say, based on canonical evidence, it's not outside the realm of possibility.

So you're saying that Marilyn Monroe, who we've also proven was killed because of her knowledge of extra terrestrial life, was one of the original Bratz? And that Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is part of the Bratz Cinematic Universe?

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So you're saying that Marilyn Monroe, who we've also proven was killed because of her knowledge of extra terrestrial life, was one of the original Bratz? And that Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is part of the Bratz Cinematic Universe?

 

Obviously, I have to be careful here, so let's just say I'm not NOT saying that...

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This still does not really explain why she is already the school president on the first day of school of her sophomore year. When do they hold SGA elections?

 

The clear answer is that Principal Jon Voight is running his school like some banana-republic dictatorship and simply installed his daughter as President without holding any elections. This is some Donald and Ivanka shit going on here.

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