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JulyDiaz

Episode 174 - Jason X: LIVE!

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One conceit of any sci-fi space travel movie is faster than light travel. I'm always curious just how fast they can go, but Jason X gives us some numbers to work with. When the Tiamat responds to the crew's distress beacon, they say they're 4 parsecs away, with an ETA of 45 minutes. Which means they're travelling 5.3 parsecs per hour which is over 150,000 times the speed of light! Pretty good.

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Omission: Towards the end of the movie when they communicate with a ship that has picked up their "distress beacon" the ship tells them they are 4 parsecs away and that it will take them 45 minutes to get to them. That blew my mind so I did some math.

A parsec maybe doesn't sound like much but it's a huge distance, equal to 3.26 light-years (the distance it takes light to travel in space during 1 YEAR). So 4 parsecs is 13.04 LY, or 6,853,824 Light Minutes (the distance light travels in a minute).

In other words, this ship is more than 150,000 times faster than light! First of all, that's impossible according to the currently-known laws of physics. Second of all, even if they did discover some way to travel faster than light in this future, how come it took them so long to arrive to the base? Unless it was halfway around the galaxy it should have them nanoseconds to arrive there.

Beat me to it.

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Well, of course Lisa Ryder and Lexa Doig are the best at ship shake acting: They have previous experience from Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda. See previous comment in mini episode regarding the human and the robot swapping roles between Andromeda and this.

 

Jason X became a personal horror movie for me because when Lexa Doig appeared on screen I thought she looked familiar. I checked IMDB and saw Andromeda. I had completely forgotten about the existence of that show and I'd say I watched at least half the episodes. Normally something like that would jog my memory and I'd remember bits and pieces. This time there was nothing. I can't recall and single character name or story line or anything at all about it. So watching Jason X was an undeniable marker of my cognitive decline.

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Tried to do a podcast with some friends (it didn't work out) and we discussed top 10 superhero powers. High on my list was Tom Skerrit. Just to be able to be him or any of his characters seems like the ultimate power. I think 'zouks would agree. Thanks for the validation and my friends can now suck it.

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I'm pretty sure the sleeping bag kill in this movie is a reference to Friday the 13th Part VII, where he kills a girl by bashing her against a tree while she's in a sleeping bag.

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I don't think anyone mentioned that all the spacecraft in the movie are named after literary monsters. The main ship they're on is called "The Grendel," which is the monster from Beowulf. Incidently, Beowulf kills Grendel by ripping her arms of, which kinda parallels the way the ship is "dismembered" in the way they blow it apart piece by piece:

stufftoblowyourmind-23-2014-04-beowulf_grendel-feature.jpg

The ship they hail for rescue toward the end is called "The Tiamat," which was a Sumerian goddess that was depicted often as a multiheaded dragon:

Video_ToD.jpg

 

This reminds me that the CGI Beowulf with Angelina Jolie would be good for this podcast.

 

Another random thought: in my head the friend Jenny Slate watched this with is Chris Evans. It heard they were back together last week and, for some reason, I was really excited. I don't know why. I don't know them and it makes no difference in my life. But I want this to be true.

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This reminds me that the CGI Beowulf with Angelina Jolie would be good for this podcast.

 

Another random thought: in my head the friend Jenny Slate watched this with is Chris Evans. It heard they were back together last week and, for some reason, I was really excited. I don't know why. I don't know them and it makes no difference in my life. But I want this to be true.

We she watched it with a cool friend and even though they are broken up they could still be friends.

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I'm pretty sure the sleeping bag kill in this movie is a reference to Friday the 13th Part VII, where he kills a girl by bashing her against a tree while she's in a sleeping bag.

 

The sleeping bag kill was my favorite part. I love sleeping bags. More people should have premarital sex or be killed in them.

 

From IMDB:

 

Neither the Casting Director nor the Director initially wanted to do the virtual reality scene. Cook was so adamant the scene was nothing but gratuitous nudity that she refused to cast the roles of the two topless girls, relegating those duties to her casting assistant. Isaac agreed that it was clearly just nudity for nudity's sake, and the only way he could personally justify it is if they had fun with it and made it really silly.
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I just want to add that Todd Farmer, the writer of Jason X (also Drive Angry and the My Bloody Valentine 3D! remake) also acted in this. Not only did he act in it, but he took the role of DALLAS! So Todd Farmer named a character after Tom Skerrit in Alien and then took the role himself.

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Jason X became a personal horror movie for me because when Lexa Doig appeared on screen I thought she looked familiar. I checked IMDB and saw Andromeda. I had completely forgotten about the existence of that show and I'd say I watched at least half the episodes. Normally something like that would jog my memory and I'd remember bits and pieces. This time there was nothing. I can't recall and single character name or story line or anything at all about it. So watching Jason X was an undeniable marker of my cognitive decline.

 

I realized where I knew Lexa Doig from, she was Talia Al Ghul (daughter of Ra's Al Ghul and lover of Batman--NERD ALERT!) on Arrow last season. Which connects to Paul's reference of a spaceship on a CW show since the connected to Arrow show, Legends of Tomorrow, which does feature a spaceship

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Great ep, guys! I listened with my infant son. He loved your antics!

 

While I agree that Janessa’s demise was grisly, my main issue with that scene was that Jason was able to punch a hole in a freaking spaceship! I honestly have no idea where Jason’s strength levels are at (especially after his nano-ant upgrade), but the strength it would take to punch through the hull of a futuristic, military spacecraft seems like it would have to be pretty considerable. I mean, sure, he has the strength to wield a sleeping bag cudgel with relative ease, but it's not like it came off as effortless, you know? And if the answer is “maybe the hull’s not that thick” then maybe the marines shouldn’t be firing off their weapons all willy-nilly.

 

But perhaps my biggest problem with his hull punch is that he does so in a Zero G environment! Newton’s Third Law states that “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” This means, that without gravity to hold him in place, the force required for him to punch the ship that hard should have effectively launched him in the opposite direction - out into the inky, enveloping arms of space.

 

Get your science straight, Farmer!

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If Jason is essentially invincible, why does he sometimes take the stealthy approach? Is it just for the thrill of the game?

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Any theories on why the ants rebuilt him like that? And it raises some questions about whether they were not only able to rebuild the brain, but also the memories. Or does Jason just have a murdery brain? Nature vs Nurture.

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Any theories on why the ants rebuilt him like that? And it raises some questions about whether they were not only able to rebuild the brain, but also the memories. Or does Jason just have a murdery brain? Nature vs Nurture.

 

Okay, lol, this sounds insane, but I thought what blonde doctor pulled out of his eye socket was his brain! I just figured he was just an avatar of evil and really didn’t have his own agency.

 

As for the ants, I just didn’t understand why all the future people weren’t upgraded like that. What makes Jason so special that he gets to be a cyborg?

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Great ep, guys! I listened with my infant son. He loved your antics!

 

While I agree that Janessa’s demise was extremely grisly, my main issue with that scene was that Jason was able to punch a hole in a freaking spaceship! I honestly have no idea where Jason’s strength levels are at (especially after his nano-ant upgrade), but the strength it would take to punch through the hull of a futuristic, military spacecraft seems like it would have to be pretty considerable. So, yeah, sure he has the strength to wield a sleeping bag cudgel with relative ease, but it didn’t exactly come off as effortless, you know? And if the answer is “maybe the hull’s not that thick” then maybe the marines shouldn’t be firing off their weapons all willy-nilly.

 

 

Yes! The space marines being so stupid to fire their weapons inside the ship had me wondering what their purpose was in the first place. They wouldn't be needed on old Earth it is a dead planet what is going to attack the students there? And obviously there is no such thing as space piracy because if there was the marines would be prepared to deal with an intruder in a way that wouldn't cause catastrophic hull damage.

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I really enjoyed this movie you guys. I know they mentioned that the people who wrote this had never seen a F13, but it seems to me that the WHOLE movie was written completely tongue-in-cheek to the point where it is only a few Kardashian jokes and sight gags away from being a "Scary Movie" installment... I mean seriously Jason is blasted awake/alive by the sheer proximity to people having sex. How fucking hilarious is that?

 

[Edit] It would not take much to re-cut this movie into a parody. NOT MUCH.

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Long time listener, first time poster. Great episode.

 

I have two things. The first isn't related to the film itself but the trailer. I haven't found any positive confirmation on this online anywhere, but I am certain that the voiceover narrator for the trailer was Peter Cullen, aka the voice of Optimus Prime and Eeyore! Comparing the voice to this Transformers Armada promo from the same time period (https://youtu.be/9JUAJ9cj3kY) really proves it to me. Cullen has a history of doing trailer voiceovers so it's not a huge surprise, but this is the first time I've heard him on the show.

 

Second, in the 2008 portion of the film, Cronenberg says that he wants to take Jason to their Scranton facility. This makes me with that the film had gone in a completely different direction. In this alternate take Cronenberg does take him to their facility in Scranton, PA, but Jason escapes. He makes his way to a business park in the city, that happens to be home of the Dunder-Mifflin paper company circa season 4 of The Office!

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The team talked about David Cronenberg being in this movie. But no one asked why was he in this movie. It does not make sense. Cronenberg made lots of horror movies but they always have an existential theme. Videodrome's message is that TV programs us, eXistenZ questioned what is reality, The Fly questioned death and disease so why would a director of substance be in a movie without any substance?.

Cronenberg has a weird history of cameos, made more so as he has made some snooty comments about various film genres like superhero and comic book adaptations, despite making one himself with A History of Violence. Not only did he appear in this one, he was the hitman in To Die For with Nicole Kidman, also had a cameo in the Tom Arnold megahit The Stupids.

 

 

Jason Goes to Hell (the best one, but i have not seen it in a whole time so don't quote me) starts off with an FBI sting to capture Jason and they circle him and shoot him dead and amazingly enough never have a friendly fire issue. The electrocution has not done except to ressurrect him at the beginning of 6 and there never was any courtroom or sentence. Sorry to dissappoint you.

Having just re-watched the entire franchise for my annual October horror film binge and they are my favorite horror franchise, they weren't completely circling Jason in the opening of Jason Goes to Hell, but rather a semicircle and then just unloaded on him, the scene did hold the Guinness record for most squibs used in a single scene for about a decade).

 

Are you counting the two Holodeck versions of the guys playing the game?

I was going off the F13 wikia and those two weren't counted, but neither were the millions in the space station that was blown up. Also, writer Todd Farmer upped the ante of his cameos as in both Drive Angry and My Bloody Valentine, he showed full frontal before being killed in both films.

 

One correction I have is about how Jason is revived by the nanites. When he is killed by the cyborg he knocks over the surgery table as he falls back and damages the system. The table then glitches and tries to revive him, but because he's all dead tissue and there's nothing readily available on the table to use in it's place it pulls material from the surrounding technology and furniture to rebuild him, making Uber Jason.

 

In regards to a Jason film in an urban area, Jason Takes Manhattan technically was that film, even though only the third act of the movie took place in the city. Jason in the snow was also going to be the plot setting for the cancelled F13 film that was supposed to come out this year but was shelved after Rings and Blair Witch tanked at the box office. As to Jason's apparent powers of teleportation and sneaking up on people, he really didn't develop those until he was resurrected in part 6. From parts 2-4, which take place over the course of a few weeks in the film timeline, was very human in how he acted, running after victims and sneaking around to attack but was fairly clumsy at times. After being completely killed in part four, he is resurrected two films later and that's when it seems like he can teleport at will or just appear behind a person since he's now a supernatural being. So much so that it's a part of the recent F13 game that was released this year, where he can teleport around the game map or zip around after victims or sneak up behind people.

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Also, the whole hologram Crystal Lake scene was basically them doing a Scream-esque nod to the camera about the tropes of the series it is a part of and how Jason always killed the kids who smoked dope or had sex everywhere. And as mentioned previously the sleeping bag kills were an homage to the scene from part 7 where he slammed a woman against a tree after she thought hiding in her sleeping bag would protect her.

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I have a crazy theory about this movie and I hope you bear with me. This movie is actually not a continuation of the Friday the 13th franchise as we know it, but rather an in universe Friday the 13th movie. In other words the people that live inside the world of Friday the 13th made this movie.

 

Okay, hear me out. As I've previously mentioned one of the more interesting things about the Friday the 13th movies is there is a sense of continuity and actions come around and aren't forgotten. Jason never cared about any particular weapon of his, he didn't care if people were having sex, and yes while he was made into a zombie in Jason Lives Friday the 13th Part VI he was never impervious to bullets with a regeneration factor. Up through to part XVIII Jason Takes Manhattan every movie Jason starts in the same location and state as he was left in the previous movie. Both Jason X and the prior film Jason Goes to Hell disregard this fact in addition to making up lore and abilities for Jason.

 

So if you lived in the Friday the 13th universe you'd be very well aware of who Jason was but as few who encountered him lived information about him would be spotty at best. Elements like his ability to survive injury, his strength, and his weapon of choice would be more wrapped up in legend than in reality. Not only does this explain why in these movies he's so out of character but how much more of a "movie" Jason X is. In all the prior films there were only a few lighter or intentional comical bits but in Jason X its dialogue is straight up comedic and certain scenes are definitely played for laughs. This being a "movie" would also explain the horrible 90s names, Alien and other movie and 20th century references and disregard for any knowledge of future technology. It would explain also why a 25th century space ship would look cheap and bare, like the set of a low budget Canadian movie.

 

So in one hand you have eight films and ten years of maintained detail and story that is consistent and films that produce thrills with very few comedic moments while in the other you have Jason X with its straight out comedic moments, unfamiliar characterization and numerous illogical elements. While it's easy to dismiss Jason X as just a bad movie it's more interesting to think of the meta nature that this is how people in a Friday the 13 universe view the urban legend known as Jason.

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Okay, lol, this sounds insane, but I thought what blonde doctor pulled out of his eye socket was his brain! I just figured he was just an avatar of evil and really didn’t have his own agency.

 

As for the ants, I just didn’t understand why all the future weren’t upgraded like that. What makes Jason so special that he gets to be a cyborg?

 

I think the computer system that regenerates body parts just made an educated guess based of the body matter. The hockey mask is essentially a part of Jason at this point, so that figured in the regeneration, hence the armor.

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So that Halloween tagline and the fact that the trailer uses that Drowning Pool song, I'm guessing this was supposed to come out in October of 2001 but was shelved after 9/11? That song was one of the many kept off radio play lists after the attacks, and I don't remember any heavy or horror movies coming out the rest of that year. I know studios push movie dates around all the time, but I can't imagine them wanting to release a movie where a spacecraft crashes into and obliterates a space station full of people so soon after.

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I'm having a slow work day an I'm hooked on this Friday the 13th wiki. I think maybe you guys were a little hard on poor Kane Hodder. He clearly has a soft spot for children and animals - guy just needs to make a buck after being left out of Freddy vs. Jason. Here's an interesting bit I just read regarding Jason Vorhees's feelings on killing children or animals:

 

Whatever his motivations, Kane Hodder believes there is a limit to what he will do. According to Hodder, Jason might violently murder any person he comes across, but when Jason Takes Manhattan called for Hodder to kick the lead character's dog, Hodder refused, stating that, while Jason has no qualms against killing humans, he is not bad enough to hurt animals. Another example from Jason Takes Manhattan, involves Jason being confronted by a street gang of young teenage boys one of whom threatens him with a knife, however Jason chooses not to kill them and instead scares them off by lifting up his mask and showing them his face. Likewise, director Tom McLoughlin chose not to have Jason harm any of the children he encounters in Jason Lives, stating that Jason would not kill a child, out of a sympathy for the plight of children generated by his own death as a child.

 

So this has never been my favorite horror franchise, but I've seen each one so many times I have a soft spot for them.* I’ve honestly always felt that you're supposed to sympathize with Jason. Unlike serial murdered and possible molester Freddy, or super messed up cult kid Michael Myers, Jason was just a happy, developmentally challenged boy who went swimming at the summer camp his mother worked at and drowned because the teens who were supposed to be watching him were too busy necking to notice. Now, his mother going HAM and killing the first group of teens/twentysomethings to come back to the camp to reopen it was definitely not okay. And how his mother’s death caused his unrested soul to enter the body of a fully-grown undead man will always be a mystery, but he was kind of protecting that lake from further needless child death. He always went after the teens and adults, who with very few exceptions were lousy people. I think in the sixth installment there’s a big to do over him possibly hurting the children at the camp, but other than scaring them I don’t remember him hurting any.** And he was pretty lukewarm to Tommy in the fourth movie, it was only when Tommy aged up that he became an issue. And Child Jason pops up numerous times to help the Final Teens and be at odds with Adult Hell Vessel Jason. I think in his own weird way Jason was making sure no child ever died again on Crystal Lake, and in his mind adults and teens would always be a threat.

 

*Not for this one though, it totally looks and sounds like a budget CW show and I was happy to hear Paul agree.

**I could be wrong; it’s been a while since I’ve seen that one.

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