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SeaSkunk

Episode 175 - Ultraviolet: LIVE!

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C&O -> I thought Violet's baby was aborted by the medical experimenters after she was infected? Or did I dream that while watching?

 

The beginning of this movie totally came across as a setting up an AIDS/Holocaust parable but the writer had zero attention span and moved on to the next shiny idea in his head.

- AIDS/Holocaust?

- Worst dentist chair ever?

- Motorcycles follow wall lines like Tron?

- Don't open suitcase?

- Open suitcase?

- Vietnamese is make believe?

- Bad guys are vampires but there's no time for them to do any vampire things?

- etc...

 

Also, the apartment building full of bad guys reminded me of Judge Dredd (newer one).

 

Edit: Forgot to mention that Six reminded me of Seven from Stranger Things.

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I did a little research into the movie because I was confused no one knew about vampires until late in the movie. I saw the unrated extended edition because it was the version my library had. Milla Jovovich's opening dialogue mentions long teeth and vampires explicitly. So, I found the changes between the theatrical cut and the extended edition and it looks like this was cut out completely. There are also some allusions to Nazi type behavior (identifying arm bands for hemophages, putting them in camps, etc.)

 

The differences are listed here: http://www.movie-cen...ort.php?ID=3655

 

My question is why cut out the references to vampires? It's maybe five seconds long and basically the entire premise of the universe. The extended edition is only 94 minutes which is still very short. The rest of the movie still doesn't make a ton of sense, but I at least wasn't surprised by a revelation of what the basic premise is halfway through.

 

Like the hosts, I was very embarrassed to watch this movie. I got it from the library and made sure to grab a legitimate good movie with it just so I didn't feel like a giant creep. The librarian still kind of gave the DVD a look when she saw it.

 

Also, the Sega CD game with Corey Haim that Paul mentions is Double Switch. It's too specific a reference to be coincidence.

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The Doughboys Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell join Paul and Jason to discuss the 2006 science fiction action thriller Ultraviolet. Recorded live from Largo at the Coronet in Los Angeles, they talk about vampire diseases, dreads in a fight, changing hair and outfit color at will, and much more.

 

 

 

 

Check out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/user/howdidthisgetmade

Where to Find Jason, June & Paul:

Paul’s new comedy Drive Share is available on Go90. Paul can be seen on Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later, Opening Night, and Veep. You can see June and Paul on NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU. June stars in Grace and Frankie on Netflix, as well as Lady Dynamite alongside with Jason.

Jason can be seen in The Good Place, The House, The Lego Batman Movie, How to Be Single, Sleeping with Other People, and is still indeed in The Dictator.

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The only way I can explain the mini-backpack that is carrying a child is that it was using that time loop/lapse technology that was used for the sword. That way they could fit a full child inside the space of essentially a laptop. As for the apparent romantic angle between the kid and Mila, he had another movie with Nicole Kidman called Birth where he played a kid who claimed to be the reincarnation of her dead husband, leading to a controversial scene where they bathe together.

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There is nothing I can add that can shed any light on this movie. But I do want to call attention to some of the people within the movie. During the scene of the helicopters chasing Violet on her motorcycle a helicopter is hovering in one spot for a long time firing thousands of rounds of ammo out of a Gatling gun. Violet then jumps her bike through the chopper and crashes into the office building on the other side of the street. Everyone in that office is going about their normal day working quietly at their desks. I think she lands next to a guy making copies. I just want to applaud the dedication of those office workers. I think a helicopter gunship unloading into the building across the street would get me off task.

 

I do think Ultraviolet could hold a place in movie history for "Least Impactful Reveal". The revelation that Daxus was the lab tech that pricked his finger and started the spread of the virus. I don't think I've ever cared less about anything.

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I don't believe for a second that Paul and Jason didn't see Milla Jovovich's work in Zoolander.

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Apologies for the weird comment order. There was no way for me to merge the two threads and preserve the "Comments" link on the episode page, so I had to move over the C&Os from the original thread instead.

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Apologies for the weird comment order. There was no way for me to merge the two threads and preserve the "Comments" link on the episode page, so I had to move over the C&Os from the original thread instead.

 

Thanks, Dan! I’m sorry I jumped the gun. I didn’t mean to cause confusion and delay.

 

100px-EdwardSad.jpg

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Thanks, Dan! I’m sorry I jumped the gun. I didn’t mean to cause confusion and delay.

No worries. If the dumb forum software let me edit the timestamps on posts, everything would have been cool.

 

CJxoko3.gif

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I spent the majority of this episode waiting for The Monster Fuck to be sung. It was not.

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Does this make SeaSkunk the winner of the Episode 175 blood war?

 

This forum is a confusing place...

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This forum is a confusing place...

 

Not really. Just know that you’re our new Messiah until the white wolf howls at the Blood Moon. Unless, of course, Mr. Engler slaps you with the “inky cuttlefish” gif at which point we switch off the role of Savior of the Syncopated Heart every hour on the hour for a fortnight...as long it isn’t a month that ends in an “R” - in which case you have to disregard everything that I just wrote, run to the nearest train station high on the effects of a hallucinogenic toad and await further instructions. They will be delivered in the bridle of an albino thestral with a gimpy leg. Don’t listen to Chad, his limp is an affectation. The albino thestral you’re looking for goes by the name “Goose.”

 

Pretty standard stuff really...

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This forum is a confusing place...

In case you didn't see, there were two topics started for this episode and I made a dumb joke about the one with the most posts wins a blood war. When the topics merged, you became the new topic creator, and winner of the blood war, by default.

 

Is there anything else you wish to know, my messiah?

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Can I just say that I was shocked (SHOCKED) when Paul played the clip of Milla talking about filming this movie in Shanghai. I would've bet 90% of my money on this flick being filmed entirely in Kurt Wimmer's basement CGI greenscreen studio.

 

As someone in the audience pointed out, Milla has no nose through most of the movie because the focus and lighting were so soft. My guess when I noticed this was that it was a lame attempt to hide the crappy CGI in fuzzy textures.

 

Ugh ... no wonder I remember nothing about this from when I saw in theaters. This movie is all style and zero substance. I started the movie twice this week and tuned out after 45 minutes both times. Every scene feels like it should be the climax of another movie (pause for "I'll have what she's having jokes ... okay), so at least 3 times I looked up, I thought, "Oh, it's just about over" but it wasn't. Vi switches allegiances and charges into battle every 10 minutes just to keep the plot moving forward. She fights a platoon of baddies whenever she walks through a door, and there's never a moment where she doesn't have the situation completely in hand. They suddenly make William Fichtner a love interest because why the fuck not. The boy is basically furniture. I don't feel like Milla is a bad actress, but her dialogue was shit and she did nothing to help.

 

Awful. Just awful.

 

However, since the gang didn't really talk about the tech that lets Vi ride bikes on walls, I'll offer up this fantastic piece of IMDB trivia:

 

Gravity levelers are devices about the size of combination locks that redirect (rather than nullify or reduce) gravity, enabling a person to stand and maneuver on walls, or even ceilings. Violet uses her personal gravity leveler to ambush a squad of guards, firing on them from within a ceiling air vent. Her motorcycle is also equipped with one of these devices, enabling her to engage in a firefight with a helicopter gunship by driving up the side of a high-rise building. Precisely how this technology functions is unknown. However, visual CGI scenes from the film seem to indicate that the internal systems of the device produce an extremely high density material that produces its own gravitational pull greater than that of Earth, thus redirecting the effective 'down' direction for the object it is installed in. How this device works without severely unbalancing Earth's orbit is unknown(emphasis added, because it's awesome).
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Paul asked about the UltraViolet streaming service and in its wikipedia article it doesnt specify if it was created/owned by a single company at first... But SONY is one of the companies that is listed in the service and offers their movie catalog through UltraViolet

 

And the films distribution company screen gems is owned by sony and they also made the 6 resident evil movies starring Mila

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In case you didn't see, there were two topics started for this episode and I made a dumb joke about the one with the most posts wins a blood war. When the topics merged, you became the new topic creator, and winner of the blood war, by default.

 

Is there anything else you wish to know, my messiah?

 

I do wish to know how people are adding gifs and pictures to their posts. The forum doesn't seem to want me to. And I can't add a profile picture.

 

Also, when is my victory parade to the cross shaped headquarters?

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Find a gif and copy the image address. Then come here and type [img] the address [/img]

 

Let me know if that doesn't work.

 

I'm not sure about the profile pic, though...

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My absolutely favorite scene was the Three Wise Monkey's scene. From him asking four armed vampires if they can kill him, to not spilling a drop of coffee from his futuristic martini-glass-cup, to they guy shot in the ear somehow falling down dead, this scene played like a microcosm of all the problems in the movie: it didn't make any sense; it was over the top; it was poorly executed (how many times is the coffee level going to change in that cup?!); it didn't drive the plot; it was overtly symbolic (though I don't know what the symbol had to do with the theme of the movie); and it was thoroughly confusing!

 

I'm not recommending this movie to anyone, but everyone should take a minute to appreciate that scene!

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As I said in the minisode thread, I refuse to watch this movie. Nothing in the podcast makes me think I made a poor life choice. So I have no corrections and omissions. Really just, like wow you guys watched this and it talked about it. You have given it way more thought than ANYONE EVER.

 

It did occur to me while listening that Milla did a bunch of action flicks and now she isn't in much. It made me think of how they were talking about doing a female EXPENDABLES movie. Some asshole told me there were no female action stars. I was like "Um, Sigourney Weaver, duh." And he was all, "she is the only one." And left. But then I thought of a ton more. (Linda Hamilton! Pam Grier! Lynda Carter!)

 

Anyway this reminded me that Milka Jovovich could totally do an EXPENDABLES reboot. New name added to list!

 

So that is a positive to come out of this nonsense. All I got.

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I spent the majority of this episode waiting for The Monster Fuck to be sung. It was not.

That’s all I could think of when I heard Nick/Leo speaking.

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"Um, Sigourney Weaver, duh." And he was all, "she is the only one." And left. But then I thought of a ton more. (Linda Hamilton! Pam Grier! Lynda Carter!)

 

Charlize Theron, Carrie Anne Moss, Uma Thurman, Maggie Q, Angelina Jolie

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I was like "Um, Sigourney Weaver, duh." And he was all, "she is the only one." And left. But then I thought of a ton more. (Linda Hamilton! Pam Grier! Lynda Carter!)

 

Anyway this reminded me that Milka Jovovich could totally do an EXPENDABLES reboot. New name added to list!

Charlize Theron, Carrie Anne Moss, Uma Thurman, Maggie Q, Angelina Jolie

 

Cynthia Rothrock

Ziyi Zhang

Michelle Rodriguez

Grace Jones

Bridgette Nielson

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