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SeaSkunk

Episode 175 - Ultraviolet: LIVE!

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Near the end of the movie there is a moment where Violet notices her hand is gushing blood. I'm not sure exactly what happened to her, and I really don't care enough to try and find out, but the wound looks pretty bad.

 

It looked like she was fighting with swords that had no hilt. Just gripping them by the blade, which seems insane. (Were her guns the hilt?)

 

Maybe one of her super powers is making poor choices. Enhanced lack of common sense.

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At the risk of given this teaming tureen of turds too much credit, I do think I have an in-universe explanation for the dreadlocked and rat-tailed vampires.

 

Historically, one of the benefits of having short hair in the military is to prevent exactly what happens in this movie. Long hair is incredibly grabable. It makes absolutely no sense to provide your opponent such an easily exploited weakness.

 

The fact that these specific hemophages have allowed their hair to grow so long speaks volumes about who they are, or at least, who they're supposed to be. If this were a video game, these dudes would be the boss battle. Their hairlength implies a confidence in their lethality that should be terrifying. It’s a way of getting into their opponent’s head. It’s saying, “I’m so deadly I can afford to be reckless.”

 

This also means, by the Transitive Law of Buttkicking, that by defeating them, Violet is even more badass.

 

Plus there's a 1991 precedent for using a lack of military-approved haircut to surprise advantage in combat:

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Something actually cool related to bacteriophages.

 

Her father, though, had an idea. He wanted to infect Mallory with a virus — one carefully selected to kill the bacteria that had colonized her lungs. It was hardly foolproof, and it would require special emergency approval from the federal government, but it might just do what the antibiotics couldn’t.

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Just another quick observation...

 

At the beginning of the movie, when Violet is posing as a courier, she’s subjected to a barrage of invasive tests to confirm that she’s not a hemophage. For instance, the Clockwork Orange-esque needles in her eyes are supposed to test for contact lenses.

 

Anyway, as all this is going on, two very thick needles are injected into her wrists and large quantities of blood are drawn. As a consequence of this forced stigmata, a helpful scientist informs her, “If you really were a hemophage, we would have already detected it at a microcellular level.” Aaaaaand...the tests continue.

 

Like, I get that Violet is conning them effectively, but if your machines can detect all that just from the cuts on her wrists, what in the holy hell is the point of all those other tests? It seems to me, if you’re confident that you can detect hemophagic healing on a “microcellular level” from a simple cut, then a finger prick should suffice sadistic assholes!

 

Also, regarding the amount of blood drawn from V., I’m not entirely convinced that exsanguination is such a great idea - especially if you’re expecting your courier to deliver your goods safely.

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Just another quick observation...

 

At the beginning of the movie, when Violet is posing as a courier, she’s subjected to a barrage of invasive tests to confirm that she’s not a hemophage. For instance, the Clockwork Orange-esque needles in her eyes are supposed to test for contact lenses.

 

Anyway, as all this is going on, two very thick needles are injected into her wrists and large quantities of blood are drawn. As a consequence of this forced stigmata, a helpful scientist informs her, “If you really were a hemophage, we would have already detected it at a microcellular level.” Aaaaaand...the tests continue.

 

Like, I get that Violet is effectively conning them, but if your machines can detect all that just from the cuts on her wrists, what in the holy hell is the point of all these other tests? It seems to me, if you’re confident that you can detect hemophagic healing on a “microcellular level” from a cut, then a finger prick should suffice sadistic assholes!

 

Also, regarding the amount of blood drawn from V., I’m not entirely sure exsanguination is a great idea - especially if you’re expecting your courier to deliver your goods safely.

Here's my biggest problem with the opening scene. So they hire this courier to deliver their top secret super important child in a box. Why? They run all these test on the courier to be sure that they aren't a hemophage but at the end of the day they are the dictatorship in charge of the nation. They have numerous giant buildings full of hundreds if not thousands of staff members. They have a whole robot army in both black and white armor. You mean to tell me that they don't have one trusted already vetted employee who they know beyond a shadow of a doubt is uninfected and loyal that could act as a courier? Why are they hiring an outside party to handle such an important and delicate package? If it is a timing issue, did they forget they are the ones in charge? They can close train lines or roads. They can have an armored convoy on blocked streets. It shouldn't be so hard.

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So, does anyone want to hazard a guess as to why the Arch Ministry apparently has their couriers on the honor system? For a package as sensitive as "12-year-old boy in a mirror dimension with genocidal pathogens in his blood capable of causing a global pandemic" they'd at least put a lock on that briefcase. I bet they just left the combination as "000," huh?

 

Also, could someone explain to me why they couldn't just make another clone? Directorial, time-travelling, retcons aside - Six is the a clone of Daxus, right? Since the kid has an expiration date anyway, why even bother trying to retrieve him at all? Just write off the expense, take the loss next quarter, and make another one. Or a hundred! Who fucking cares? The point is, always save your work and create a backup.

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Also, could someone explain to me why they couldn't just make another fucking clone? Directorial, time-travelling, retcons aside - Six is the a clone of Daxus, right? Since the kid has an expiration date anyway, why even bother trying to retrieve him at all? Just write off the expense, take the loss next quarter, and make another one. Or a hundred! Who fucking cares? The point is, always save your work and create a backup.

 

I think the issue was that Daxus didn't want anyone else to obtain the clone's antibodies? Because Daxus' business plan was:

 

1. Clone antibodies

2. ???

3. Profit

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I think the issue was that Daxus didn't want anyone else to obtain the clone's antibodies?

 

You know what else he could have done? Rigged the briefcase to explode if it was stolen.

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You know what else he could have done? Rigged the briefcase to explode if it was stolen.

 

Or, maybe not transport the clone? Let's store the clones near the lab and try not to move them from place to place.

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Or, maybe not transport the clone? Let's store the clones near the lab and try not to move them from place to place.

 

We won’t make that mistake when our startup cloning facility gets up and running. We promise all our abominations against God - and the genetically engineered pestilence they’ve been bred to spread™ - will be kept in house!

 

(...Until they’re ready to be unleashed.)

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We won’t make that mistake when our startup cloning facility gets up and running. We promise all our abominations against God - and the genetically engineered pestilence they’ve been bred to spread™ - will be kept in house!

 

(...Until they’re ready to be unleashed.)

 

But then again, there will be so many layoffs. Guards/soldiers, armored car drivers, courier test administrators, clone containment briefcase manufacturers...

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But then again, there will be so many layoffs. Guards/soldiers, armored car drivers, courier test administrators, clone containment briefcase manufacturers...

 

Yes, but you forget that the drastic reduction in population should offset any short term effect consolidating our assets might have on the job market.

 

Besides, we will still need people to distribute our “treatment,” erect statues in our honor, and design Norman Rockwell-esque playgrounds for our disposable clone-babies.

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It's called vertical integration people! We need our cloning facilities and evil antibody experiments to be done by the same entity in the same building.

 

Think of all the money we could save by eliminating redundancies. Quick, someone whip up a cost benefit analysis.

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So, I haven't seen this movie guys. You scared me the hell away. Plus, I've been super busy lately.

 

But let me ask, is the science in this movie super dumb? Like Red Planet dumb?

 

Burchenal says he is an expert in genetics, yet he refers to the 4 DNA nucleotides as A, G, T and P. They're actually A, C, G, and T

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I think Daxus has so many cool ideas for buildings he just couldn't decide. He didn't know if they should build a giant crucifix or a giant bio hazard sign or a giant tall tower, etc. He loved them all so he made them all get built. Now he was left with the problem of justifying the building of so many buildings so he randomly assigned them things to do and in the ensuing confusion decided to put the cloning building far away from the bio lab building. He would have cared if his new buildings weren't so kick ass.

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So, I haven't seen this movie guys. You scared me the hell away. Plus, I've been super busy lately.

 

But let me ask, is the science in this movie super dumb? Like Red Planet dumb?

 

It's way dumber than Red Planet. Btw, I totally heard him saying P in the movie! Can you imagine, GATTAPA?

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I think Daxus has so many cool ideas for buildings he just couldn't decide. He didn't know if they should build a giant crucifix or a giant bio hazard sign or a giant tall tower, etc. He loved them all so he made them all get built. Now he was left with the problem of justifying the building of so many buildings so he randomly assigned them things to do and in the ensuing confusion decided to put the cloning building far away from the bio lab building. He would have cared if his new buildings weren't so kick ass.

 

So in addition to Vice Cardinal and geneticist, Daxus is also into architectural design? He certainly wears a lot of hats...

 

 

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So in addition to Vice Cardinal and geneticist, Daxus is also into architectural design? He certainly wears a lot of hats...

 

And he accomplished all that while single-parenting 8 sons clones.

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So in addition to Vice Cardinal and geneticist, Daxus is also into architectural design? He certainly wears a lot of hats...

 

Maybe he manages to fit all those hats under his giant Cardinal's hat.

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I am dying over the fact that Paul is completely unable to pronounce Jovovich. I'm now picturing Mila being merged with one of the JoJo's from the anime JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Possibly the one whose hair is part of his hat.

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Here's my biggest problem with the opening scene. So they hire this courier to deliver their top secret super important child in a box. Why? They run all these test on the courier to be sure that they aren't a hemophage but at the end of the day they are the dictatorship in charge of the nation. They have numerous giant buildings full of hundreds if not thousands of staff members. They have a whole robot army in both black and white armor. You mean to tell me that they don't have one trusted already vetted employee who they know beyond a shadow of a doubt is uninfected and loyal that could act as a courier? Why are they hiring an outside party to handle such an important and delicate package? If it is a timing issue, did they forget they are the ones in charge? They can close train lines or roads. They can have an armored convoy on blocked streets. It shouldn't be so hard.

 

You forgot that if she can pass through all those tests and then get the package, what were the vampire/hemo-whatever's doing all his time. They already possessed the capabilities to destroy the ministry and all inside. This movie is really V just toying with the ministry and Daxis.

 

Either in the episode or corrections and omissions someone said that the director alluded to Six possibly being form another dimension or future and could be UltraVoilet. I finally watched this movie tonight, free on MS Store!, and i see one hint at that. the kid is called Six and Ultra Voilet is called V by the Six. V is roman numeral 5, so is she also a clone of Daxis?

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My absolutely favorite scene was the Three Wise Monkey's scene. From him asking four armed vampires if they can kill him, to not spilling a drop of coffee from his futuristic martini-glass-cup, to they guy shot in the ear somehow falling down dead, this scene played like a microcosm of all the problems in the movie: it didn't make any sense; it was over the top; it was poorly executed (how many times is the coffee level going to change in that cup?!); it didn't drive the plot; it was overtly symbolic (though I don't know what the symbol had to do with the theme of the movie); and it was thoroughly confusing!

 

I'm not recommending this movie to anyone, but everyone should take a minute to appreciate that scene!

 

I thought about this and i did not catch the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil reference. I was too busy trying to see bullet holes that were not there, confusing is an understatement. This movie is rated R and has almost no blood, very odd.

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