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Episode 175 - Ultraviolet: LIVE!


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#21 braums

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 06:17 PM

My absolutely favorite scene was the Three Wise Monkey's scene. From him asking four armed vampires if they can kill him, to not spilling a drop of coffee from his futuristic martini-glass-cup, to they guy shot in the ear somehow falling down dead, this scene played like a microcosm of all the problems in the movie: it didn't make any sense; it was over the top; it was poorly executed (how many times is the coffee level going to change in that cup?!); it didn't drive the plot; it was overtly symbolic (though I don't know what the symbol had to do with the theme of the movie); and it was thoroughly confusing!

I'm not recommending this movie to anyone, but everyone should take a minute to appreciate that scene!

#22 Elektra Boogaloo

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 06:51 PM

As I said in the minisode thread, I refuse to watch this movie. Nothing in the podcast makes me think I made a poor life choice. So I have no corrections and omissions. Really just, like wow you guys watched this and it talked about it. You have given it way more thought than ANYONE EVER.

It did occur to me while listening that Milla did a bunch of action flicks and now she isn't in much. It made me think of how they were talking about doing a female EXPENDABLES movie. Some asshole told me there were no female action stars. I was like "Um, Sigourney Weaver, duh." And he was all, "she is the only one." And left. But then I thought of a ton more. (Linda Hamilton! Pam Grier! Lynda Carter!)

Anyway this reminded me that Milka Jovovich could totally do an EXPENDABLES reboot. New name added to list!

So that is a positive to come out of this nonsense. All I got.

#23 ironicmerman

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 06:54 PM

View PostCam Bert, on 10 November 2017 - 02:35 PM, said:

I spent the majority of this episode waiting for The Monster Fuck to be sung. It was not.

That’s all I could think of when I heard Nick/Leo speaking.
Technicality. No. Down. Boo. Over.

#24 PollyDarton

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 08:00 PM

View PostElektra Boogaloo, on 10 November 2017 - 06:51 PM, said:

"Um, Sigourney Weaver, duh." And he was all, "she is the only one." And left. But then I thought of a ton more. (Linda Hamilton! Pam Grier! Lynda Carter!)


Charlize Theron, Carrie Anne Moss, Uma Thurman, Maggie Q, Angelina Jolie

#25 The Triple Lindy

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 08:10 PM

View PostElektra Boogaloo, on 10 November 2017 - 06:51 PM, said:

I was like "Um, Sigourney Weaver, duh." And he was all, "she is the only one." And left. But then I thought of a ton more. (Linda Hamilton! Pam Grier! Lynda Carter!)

Anyway this reminded me that Milka Jovovich could totally do an EXPENDABLES reboot. New name added to list!

View PostPollyDarton, on 10 November 2017 - 08:00 PM, said:

Charlize Theron, Carrie Anne Moss, Uma Thurman, Maggie Q, Angelina Jolie


Cynthia Rothrock
Ziyi Zhang
Michelle Rodriguez
Grace Jones
Bridgette Nielson

#26 tomspanks

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 08:14 PM

View PostThe_Triple_Lindy, on 10 November 2017 - 08:10 PM, said:


Cynthia Rothrock
Ziyi Zhang
Michelle Rodriguez
Grace Jones
Bridgette Nielson


If you go Ziyi Zhang, may I please add Michelle Yeoh?

Posted Image

#27 Cam Bert

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 08:15 PM

View PostThe_Triple_Lindy, on 10 November 2017 - 08:10 PM, said:

Cynthia Rothrock

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My like of you has increased tenfold.
My Howdy sense is tingling. Break out Google maps and my abacus...there's a C&O to be solved! And this time, it's personal...
(credit to Elektra and Cameron H)

#28 Cam Bert

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 08:21 PM

I don't know if you guys know about JeeJa Yanin but...
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My Howdy sense is tingling. Break out Google maps and my abacus...there's a C&O to be solved! And this time, it's personal...
(credit to Elektra and Cameron H)

#29 The Triple Lindy

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 08:57 PM

View PostCam Bert, on 10 November 2017 - 08:15 PM, said:

Posted Image

My like of you has increased tenfold.

One of the first to spring to mind.

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#30 8thDoctorBest

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 10:31 PM

They did mention that she was experimented on by this government, which was presumably why she was pissed? And why she was super soldier/The One. And the gasp from the crowd was i imagine b because she didn't miscarry the government of biohazard sign (stealth Resident Evil Easter egg?) forced the terminated pregnancy.

So how'd they catch her or was she in their employ before? Yet they don't recognize her whatsoever. And by the way, doesn't it send up red flags this lady is changing her overall appearance while verifying her identity? At the very least it's silly she took the time to do that then.

#31 grudlian.

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Posted 11 November 2017 - 12:02 AM

View Postbraums, on 10 November 2017 - 06:17 PM, said:

My absolutely favorite scene was the Three Wise Monkey's scene. From him asking four armed vampires if they can kill him, to not spilling a drop of coffee from his futuristic martini-glass-cup, to they guy shot in the ear somehow falling down dead, this scene played like a microcosm of all the problems in the movie: it didn't make any sense; it was over the top; it was poorly executed (how many times is the coffee level going to change in that cup?!); it didn't drive the plot; it was overtly symbolic (though I don't know what the symbol had to do with the theme of the movie); and it was thoroughly confusing!

I'm not recommending this movie to anyone, but everyone should take a minute to appreciate that scene!

Here's the scene in case anyone missed it.
Posted Image

#32 Quasar Sniffer

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Posted 11 November 2017 - 10:26 AM

I have a theory that this movie is part of a Shared Universe with a 14-year-old-boy's wet dream after drinking a gallon of Mountain Dew Code Red. It makes about as much sense as a dream, traveling from scene to scene in defiance of all logic and laws of physics. It's a visual mish-mash of washed out CGI and out-of-focus nonsense, complete with floating heads and fetishistic costumes. And, of course, there's the presence of Milla Jovovich, who, as the content of the Second Opinions reviews makes clear, is the focus of many-a creepy teenage boy's obsessions. This is what happens to such a teenager's subconscious after 100 viewings of 2002's Resident Evil, 36 hours of gaming without sleep, and the subsequent crash into a coma-like state after a soda-induced sugar high.
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#33 Howibetyourmother

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Posted 11 November 2017 - 10:29 AM

Not sure if this is a correction or omission, but I have a valid question:

Why is it that in this world where everyone is so afraid to be touched by the smallest amount of blood, the majority of their weaponry (almost all of it) causes MASSIVE amounts of blood to be spilled? Any blood spatter analyst can tell you that even when a GSW has no corresponding exit wound, a significant amount of blood is sprayed into the surrounding air. In this world, using a gun on a Hemophage without the use of full biohazard suits would be a nightmare of contamination. In the first scene alone, when the hemophages infiltrate the blood supply, their bodies are riddled with bullets in the middle of a circle at point-blank range. Their blood spray would have covered everything in that room, and even if the SWAT team was wearing protective gear, which you could make the argument that they are, the "detectives" (? lack of a better word) have their faces completely uncovered! Why? did we need to see their faces? Are they important to the story later on? Nope.

#34 Quasar Sniffer

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Posted 11 November 2017 - 10:39 AM

View PostHowibetyourmother, on 11 November 2017 - 10:29 AM, said:

Not sure if this is a correction or omission, but I have a valid question:

Why is it that in this world where everyone is so afraid to be touched by the smallest amount of blood, the majority of their weaponry (almost all of it) causes MASSIVE amounts of blood to be spilled? Any blood spatter analyst can tell you that even when a GSW has no corresponding exit wound, a significant amount of blood is sprayed into the surrounding air. In this world, using a gun on a Hemophage without the use of full biohazard suits would be a nightmare of contamination. In the first scene alone, when the hemophages infiltrate the blood supply, their bodies are riddled with bullets in the middle of a circle at point-blank range. Their blood spray would have covered everything in that room, and even if the SWAT team was wearing protective gear, which you could make the argument that they are, the "detectives" (? lack of a better word) have their faces completely uncovered! Why? did we need to see their faces? Are they important to the story later on? Nope.

If this movie endeavored to make sense, maybe people trying to kill hemophages would use some sort of gas weapons so as not to draw blood? Sort of like the Golden Age DC-era Sandman, Wesley Dodds?

Posted Image

I know that's a stretch, and maybe other non-projectile weaponry like some sort of taser would be more "future-y," but hey, I love the Wesley Dodds costume and I am a Francesco Francavilla fanboy so when an excuse to post art like the image above presents itself, I WILL TAKE IT!
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"I love that the demographic for this podcast is, like, college professors." - Rob Huebel

#35 Howibetyourmother

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Posted 11 November 2017 - 11:57 AM

I thought it would've been a more major theme, too, since they introduced the idea in the first scene! After she gains access to the room where she grabs the magic backpack, there are guards in the room who carry what looks like the police baton from Demolition Man on steroids. They're only used in that scene and then abandoned for the rest of the movie for blood-spraying bullets and knives and swords, and at one point, just flinging blood at someone.

#36 Howibetyourmother

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Posted 11 November 2017 - 12:10 PM

View PostQuasar Sniffer, on 11 November 2017 - 10:39 AM, said:

If this movie endeavored to make sense, maybe people trying to kill hemophages would use some sort of gas weapons so as not to draw blood? Sort of like the Golden Age DC-era Sandman, Wesley Dodds?



90s-era Disney's Darkwing Duck, maybe?

#37 SeaSkunk

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Posted 11 November 2017 - 12:49 PM

Did they ever explain why the infected people are called hemophages? Do they need more blood than others for some reason? Do they crave blood?

Calling them vampires makes sense even if they just have elongated canines and sun sensitivity, but why hemophage?

Maybe they planned to answer that in the blood supply scene at the movie open but never got around to it...

#38 Quasar Sniffer

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Posted 11 November 2017 - 12:56 PM

View PostSeaSkunk, on 11 November 2017 - 12:49 PM, said:

Did they ever explain why the infected people are called hemophages? Do they need more blood than others for some reason? Do they crave blood?

Calling them vampires makes sense even if they just have elongated canines and sun sensitivity, but why hemophage?

Maybe they planned to answer that in the blood supply scene at the movie open but never got around to it...

I'm assuming it's a play on the variety of viruses known as Bacteriophages. From Wikipedia

Quote

A bacteriophage /ˈbækˈtɪər.i.oʊˌfeɪdʒ/, also known informally as a phage /ˈfeɪdʒ/, is a virus that infects and replicates within a bacterium. The term was derived from "bacteria" and the Greek: φαγεῖν (phagein), "to devour".

Posted Image

So the term being derived from "to devour" makes sense, as vampires literally devour blood to survive. I think the name "hemophage" is probably the smartest and most logical part of this fucking movie.
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#39 tomspanks

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Posted 11 November 2017 - 02:54 PM

Kind of related to the post above. At one point, Daxus says to Violet, "you got hemoblood on me!" The prefix hemo- means blood, so he's basically saying "you got blood blood on me." I bet he's one of those people who say "ATM machine" and "PIN number."

#40 Cam Bert

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Posted 11 November 2017 - 03:57 PM

I could be wrong on this but is the cemetery fight scene the only scene in the movie that has natural lighting, shot at an actual location, and no filters or CGI manipulation in it?
My Howdy sense is tingling. Break out Google maps and my abacus...there's a C&O to be solved! And this time, it's personal...
(credit to Elektra and Cameron H)