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DaltonMaltz

Episode 217 - Listeners, Our Close Friends 4

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we interrupt your regularly scheduled forum to bring you a live HHFFMC update: it is with infinite sorrow and trepidation that I must report the tragic accident that has befallen The Black Satan Metallica Stones of Rock & Also Roll aboard their B-59 Concorde stealth hellcat rocketjet bound for Morocco to kick off the 2017 Dumpster Fire World Tour when some birds got sucked into all of the engines and the co-pilot tried to wake up Sully for a patented miracle water landing but he'd taken 3 ambien and was passed out so the co-pilot did his best and called in an emergency mayday SOS before all traces of the aircraft disappeared somewhere in the vicinity of Bermuda near a 3-sided geometric figure

 

at the ceremony for remembrance and serious reflection Lars Ulrich sang an acoustic version of I Believe I See the Lighthouse with Phil Collins on bongos, Flea on vibes, Miley Cyrus playing the whole world, Yoko Ono on dobro, Woody Harrelson on tubular bells, Meatloaf on meat flute, Lana Del Rey on kazoo, some Greek folk on cheek poke, Billy Joel on keyboard, David Letterman on the vacuum and Neil Peart on a little tambourine. because Weiser was playing so hard to get he wasn't aboard the plane and is the sole surviving member of the group. he accepted the Rock & Also Roll Hall of Fame memorial legacy tribute award on our behalf

 

the album we recorded is finished and will be released posthumorously because this whole ordeal is very sad and definitely not funny. but we'll always have the memory of our 1st jam that Jack White saw and flipped out about to Oprah

 

RIP%20Black%20Satan%20Metallica%20Stones.jpg

shocked and heartbroken at this news. i should be so flattered that fellow hoosier daivd letterman was playing the vacuum in my honor.

 

the only option now is to fund a rock-u-mentary produced by the birthday boys about our meteoric rise and fall.

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Sean and Hayes should say my name on the show again, that's actually an interesting idea

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Had a great time on the show.

 

Living that boat life.

 

Xoxo

Chanson

 

I just found out that I'll be living the slow moving boat life to Seattle this Saturday. I'd see if you wanted to meet up for drinks again, but it sounds like you're out of town. Also I'm going to be heading there at like 10:30 AM and it would feel like I've got a serious problem if I were drinking that early. I'll still try to have a good time even though the Water World pee pee machines on the Washington State ferries leave much to be desired.

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It's probably good that I didn't see anything about a call-in ep, for what surely would have been an earth-shatteringly easy rapport between us would have sprung up so quickly, too quickly, for the equilibrium's of listeners, passersby, etc. to go unaffected. Not that people would be affected negatively, necessarily, its just that conversation that sparkling, that possessed of so effortless a rhythm, and that full of the joie de vivre of 3 people finding within each other a shining light that in turn shines on and reveals facets of each other heretofore unseen, creating spiraling cascades of delight as a triumvirate briefly becomes one. Such free-flowing repartee, like the raging torrents of the mighty Nile, would be uncharted territory for you listeners. People might die!

 

No, until the technology is there we should probably, perhaps ethically, play it safe. Sometimes the responsibility of being a genius is that you have to know when to say, "I'm sorry I can't talk at your podcast because of the spiraling delight deaths"

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That's some bullshit I didn't get a name drop mention in the damn list of HH fan legends.

 

also earwolf wont let me change my profile picture any tips?

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I can still remember some of those rules.

 

Such as:

 

Have eggs, gobble that seed

 

Also, I think they changed something and your pic has to be below a certain size. I got it to finally work by resizing it to 149x149

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It's probably good that I didn't see anything about a call-in ep, for what surely would have been an earth-shatteringly easy rapport between us would have sprung up so quickly, too quickly, for the equilibrium's of listeners, passersby, etc. to go unaffected. Not that people would be affected negatively, necessarily, its just that conversation that sparkling, that possessed of so effortless a rhythm, and that full of the joie de vivre of 3 people finding within each other a shining light that in turn shines on and reveals facets of each other heretofore unseen, creating spiraling cascades of delight as a triumvirate briefly becomes one. Such free-flowing repartee, like the raging torrents of the mighty Nile, would be uncharted territory for you listeners. People might die!

 

No, until the technology is there we should probably, perhaps ethically, play it safe. Sometimes the responsibility of being a genius is that you have to know when to say, "I'm sorry I can't talk at your podcast because of the spiraling delight deaths"

 

It's the biggest open problem in anthropology: fill in the blank in the phrase "host and sidekick and _"

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Phew, good thing I didn't call in and share my own ice skating Clem Dawg face punch story

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I've never celebrated Christmas so tomorrow is just "The one day Jack in the Box is closed" day. I would really like some french fries, but Santana doesn't want me to be on his happy birthday list because I don't believe in him or whatever. It's fine, I have a potato, a breadknife, and a microwave, so happy merry holidays day to me. Mmm nom nom, french fries nom nom

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